October 2013 Moms

What A Horrible Mother I Will Be

Today I was "informed" that buying gender specific items for my baby is forcing her gender on her.  It will make her think she is supposed to like them and if she doesn't then she'll feel like something's wrong with her and it will lead to deep psychological issues.  After nicely replying I think we should just raise our own children how we see fit, I was told I probably should not be having kids. *sigh*  I'll have to call my mother and tell her she raised a horrible daughter.  How dare I buy dresses and adorable girl things for my baby!
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Re: What A Horrible Mother I Will Be

  • People are crazy! Ignore them. :/
  • I agree, we each get to raise a kid as we see fit. and I am having a DD as well and she will be in frilly pink dresses (which is weird because I was never like that). but I draw a line on the princess crap haha.

    but people all have something to say about raising kids, and the "right way" to do things. I have my own opinions whether I like to admit it or not. it is human nature. I am sure at one point or another you have said "I cannot believe so and so did that with their kid" so just try and remember that when ppl say crap to you and just move on and ignore it.

        
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  • Add me to the horrible mother's club!

     

    Seriously though.  It's not like you will force her to play with girly things if she doesn't like them.  That person needs to get a grip.

  • Bah tell them you'll throw in a hot wheels and leave it at that.
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  • Yeah that just seemed completely absurd to me.  
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  • AjoydAjoyd
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    Who said this to you?

    It's a ridiculous notion, especially for an infant.



    Married my love 8-25-12 TTC #1 since September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. DS born 10-16-13.
  • Wow! So glad I haven't run into any people like that. You handled it well it sounds like.

    DD#1~Emma Dawn 12/19/00 7lb 10 oz 21"
    DD#2~Daphney Mae 04/17/03 7lb 13oz 21"
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        DS#1~Brody Maxwell born 10/16/13 8lb 10oz 21"

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  • image Ajoyd:

    Who said this to you?

    It's a ridiculous notion, especially for an infant.



    It was some rando's comment on my "gender reveal" picture I posted to Reddit.  Obviously I caught a lot of flack for using the word "gender" but I figured that would happen.  I just was not expecting so many people to jump on board with the "don't buy gender specific stuff" rant...sheesh!  Anyways, no one I know so I laughed it off and replied as nicely as possible.  :)  
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  • I posted before about a former friend of mine who swore off anything for her child unless it was gender neutral. I had to cut her off - she crossed the line with some of her beliefs and I couldn't sit idly by while she demented her child. You seriously cannot tell when looking at her child if it's a boy or girl - that's odd. You come into this world with a penis or vagina. That determines your sex, not toys or clothes. If later on a child shows a preference for the other gender, you deal with it then. I feel like being so neutral about things WILL confused and damaged the child. It IS your job as the parents to set your child on a path. Kids will play with anything you give them. My dd has a dinosaur obsession and loves legos yet she's the ultimate girly-girl. Some boys like to play house or dress up. Simply encourage your child whether it be a short term whim or a long term passion. That's a good mom.

    Dress her up as girly as you want - you only have so long until she can tell you whether she likes it or not. lol

  • image SweetTeaMom:

    I posted before about a former friend of mine who swore off anything for her child unless it was gender neutral. I had to cut her off - she crossed the line with some of her beliefs and I couldn't sit idly by while she demented her child. You seriously cannot tell when looking at her child if it's a boy or girl - that's odd. You come into this world with a penis or vagina. That determines your sex, not toys or clothes. If later on a child shows a preference for the other gender, you deal with it then. I feel like being so neutral about things WILL confused and damaged the child. It IS your job as the parents to set your child on a path. Kids will play with anything you give them. My dd has a dinosaur obsession and loves legos yet she's the ultimate girly-girl. Some boys like to play house or dress up. Simply encourage your child whether it be a short term whim or a long term passion. That's a good mom.

    Dress her up as girly as you want - you only have so long until she can tell you whether she likes it or not. lol



    Love this!  Thank you :)  That was my thinking too!  I'll only have so long before she starts demanding her own choices haha
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  • My daughter has a batman oneiese and a FSU cheerleader dress hanging up in her closet all ready. IJDGAF!
  • One of the last courses I had to take for one of my MA's was a Queer Studies class, and I took it the summer I was pregnant with DD1 (she was also an October baby). About half of the course was about just that (and sex vs gender vs sexuality, transgender studies, intersex children, etc). It was probably one of the biggest mind flucks ever, especially since I had my a/s during the middle of the course. I came in and was like "um... the baby have what appears to be female genitalia?" It was weird and odd, and the fact that our professor was VERY into it just made it even worse, haha.

    Some people take the whole identity theory a little too far. We had to read an article at the time about a Canadian family who didn't even tell their families the sex of their third child so that gender norms wouldn't be forced on him/her, their older children were allowed to dress and play with whatever they wanted, and had very gender neutral names. I think that can cause just as many identity issues in the long run as "forced" gender roles. I figure we're all going to mess up our children one way or another Wink.

    Dress your kid however you want to. The human race will still survive.

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  • what??!?!?! Well, you handled it very well. The way I have been feeling, lately, I would have told that person to mind their flucking business before I give them real reason to say some bull crap about me! People are so crazy and invasive!!! UGH!!
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  • bnikizbnikiz
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    My daughters fav thing to wear is a pink tutu, her fav toys are hot wheel cars. Your kids will like what they like. If you deny a girl cars or a boy a baby doll thats different story.

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  • image tate62610:
    Today I was "informed" that buying gender specific items for my baby is forcing her gender on her.  It will make her think she is supposed to like them and if she doesn't then she'll feel like something's wrong with her and it will lead to deep psychological issues.  After nicely replying I think we should just raise our own children how we see fit, I was told I probably should not be having kids. *sigh*  I'll have to call my mother and tell her she raised a horrible daughter.  How dare I buy dresses and adorable girl things for my baby!

     

    Sounds like that person deserves a c*nt punch/d*ck slap.

     

    You tell me where they live, I'll handle it for you. I'm just in the right mood today. 

  • I believe I'm echoing previous posters in saying, um, what the fluck ever! to those peeps! My daughter's nursery will be extremely girly even though she will be raised to be confident, strong, athletic, independent and smart all gender-neutral attributes. People need to get a grip, seriously.

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  • image tate62610:
    image Ajoyd:

    Who said this to you?

    It's a ridiculous notion, especially for an infant.



    It was some rando's comment on my "gender reveal" picture I posted to Reddit.  Obviously I caught a lot of flack for using the word "gender" but I figured that would happen.  I just was not expecting so many people to jump on board with the "don't buy gender specific stuff" rant...sheesh!  Anyways, no one I know so I laughed it off and replied as nicely as possible.  :)  

    Oh, that explains it. 




     

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