Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Who else will baby let hold him?

My MIL is determined to say we have "spoiled" our DS. We only see her once a month maybe. So whenever I take him to see her, he cries...loudly. Ive had to tell her several times she has to smile and talk to him sometimes to get positive energy back from him, shes always whining about how he's looking for me, well why wouldnt he? Oh and 'he doesn't know me' is the big line because she wants to be his sitter. (not an option) He's only 5 months, theres not a lot of passing around the baby during the week, so he knows his sitter, his parents and his big sister. He actually will let other people hold him when they are smiling and cooing with him, so if she didn't waste time baulking about whats not happening, maybe she would have a better reception? IDK. -vent over.
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Re: Who else will baby let hold him?

  • Our lo will let anyone hold him, but he does look around for us. I think babies can sense hesitation or uneasiness, so I think you are right, maybe if she was more focused on him he would be more relaxed with her.
  • DS is easy going and will let most people hold him. However, he does always look for me and will follow my voice and he gets upset when the person holding him is upset/uneasy. Babies can definitely sense people's moods!

  • DS will let anyone hold him, but stares at me the whole time. Unless the person turns him to face them and engages him. I like that for right now he is easy going. I want him to be able to be comfortable with people, because both our families 2 hours or more from us, so he won't see them often enough to know who they are right away.

    So if he will be handed off to anyone without a fight, I don't have to worry about discouraged feelings from family members when we travel to see them or they visit and DS doesn't want any part of them.

  • My DS is playing shy. He sees his Glamma (my mom) at least once a week and has recently decided to cry bloody murder when she holds him. However, my best friend and her cousin can hold him no problem. He is 4 months. My mom said she isn't worried about it now (though I can tell her feelings are a bit hurt... And is probably why she is taking us to AZ for 10 days in hopes he changes his mind), as a family friends daughter was the same when she was really little. Eventually that little girl wouldn't leave my mom alone so she expects the same will happen with DS. 
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  • DS is very easy going, which was a huge surprise for me because he really only ever sees me and DH. I'm in Kansas and all of our family is at least 22 hours away so when I took a trip out there for him to meet everyone and he had at least 20 different ppl holding him that he didn't know it was a big shock 
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  • MIL was like that with DS1.  She would flatly say, "smile at me, Nolan" with no expression on her face.  Umm, yeah, not going to work. Luckily, she seems to have wised up with DS2.  

    But, to answer your question.... DS2 doesn't really like to be held by anyone for long periods of time, even me or DH.  But for short amounts of time, he'll go to anyone. 

  • Maybe she needs to read up on normal development and separation anxiety.

    My LO is 5 months and will cry shortly after being passed to anyone other than DH and I, including my mom.  My kids see my mom every week and we're all very close with her, but DD still cries after a minute. It's the age (well, in your case, probably your MIL's attitude, too).

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  • Lily used to let anybody hold her. She is 4.5 months now and suddenly wants nothing to do with anyone but me, Fiance, and MIL. MIL lives with us. Even people she sees weekly. We left her with fiance's aunt last week and when we got back they said all she did was cry, until fiance's uncle grabbed her. She's ok with men for some reason. Lol but mostly wants just us. I've heard its called 'stranger anxiety'. Maybe look it up? Idk if its the same thing as your LO. But I know Lily went from loving everyone to wanting nobody but us. I think, and hope, its just a phase.



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  • Also, I'm pretty sure you cannot 'spoil' a baby..



    "A moment in my tummy... a lifetime in my heart." ??

  • image LilyyPanda:
    Also, I'm pretty sure you cannot 'spoil' a baby..

    IMO, I think her MIL is saying "spoiled" in an attempt to spread her feelings of being hurt. Almost like backlash. OP is her scapegoat.  

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  • She doesnt care who holds her as long as they are standing up and face her out... shes a nosy little girl lol

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  • My family is constantly comparing my cousin's baby to mine (hers is 11 months older)...oh your baby will let us hold her, while cousin's baby won't because they do this or this or that..

    I always try to tell them babies are 1. different and 2. different at different ages...

    SHe might let you hold her now but in a couple of months everything could change.... people are annoying and being a parent I am learning sometimes takes some thick skin!! 

  • jbatchjbatch
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    My LO just wants to be held and talked to.. It usually doesn't matter who it is. I have let people hold her from day one so shes used to it. Random funny story about that. We were at a friends house for dinner and one of the other men there was older probably 50's. He was holding her and she would smile when he would look away and pout whenever he looked at her. It was very entertaining..

    I have one daughter Kaylen born 2/26/2013

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  • My DD hates people. Seriously, bedsides me. She is warning to my DH and mom but they have been working with her forever for her to even tolerate them and that is only when I am not available. It is exhausting and I am jealous of moms with easy going babies.
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