Working Moms

Man in the mother's room again

This is now the second time I have walked to the mothers room and found a man having a phone conversation in it!

The first time the door was open and I turned into the room, not realizing someone was in there and guy 1 was standing in the room. I didn't have to say anything, he looked horrified, apologized and quick left. NBD.

Today, I walk down to the room, the door is closed. It was exactly 9am, so I thought another mom was just finishing up, even though there was no one on the schedule before me, but anyway I waited outside. All of a sudden I hear a man speaking. WTF? I knock on the door, he opens it, gives me a dirty look and says can you give me just a minute with an attitude. I said no, this is the mothers room. He said oh I thought this was the personal room. I said no, it's not.

This room is for nursing mom's only. It is not a personal room. The schedule is packed with other moms, there is no time for people to quickly jump in and out to make a phone call. Would you say something to HR?
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Re: Man in the mother's room again

  • Is there a sign on the door indicating what it is for??
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  • May be a stupid question, but is there a sign on the door that says "Mother's Room" or "Pumping Room"? It sounds like there is genuine confusion about what the room is intended for.  I bet if guys knew that this was a pumping room, they wouldn't try to use it.
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  • LoCarbLoCarb
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    Yes, I would mention to HR and request a memo be sent to all employees as a reminder the room is the lactation lounge and visits must be scheduled in advanced.
    Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11
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  • If there is a sign, i would most definitely call HR.  that is so rude and disrespectful

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  • Yes, one way or the other, I would talk to HR.  If there isn't a sign, they need to put one up. If there IS a sign, then I feel that some kind of reminder/notification needs to be sent out to the staff.
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  • Pips09Pips09
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    image EastCoastBride:
    Yes, one way or the other, I would talk to HR.  If there isn't a sign, they need to put one up. If there IS a sign, then I feel that some kind of reminder/notification needs to be sent out to the staff.

    YesIt sounds like these guys really don't reazlize they shouldn't be using the room. A notification that the room has one use only, and all use of the room must be on the schedule would probably help.

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  • image EastCoastBride:
    Yes, one way or the other, I would talk to HR.  If there isn't a sign, they need to put one up. If there IS a sign, then I feel that some kind of reminder/notification needs to be sent out to the staff.

    Agreed.

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  • image Pips09:

    image EastCoastBride:
    Yes, one way or the other, I would talk to HR.  If there isn't a sign, they need to put one up. If there IS a sign, then I feel that some kind of reminder/notification needs to be sent out to the staff.

    YesIt sounds like these guys really don't reazlize they shouldn't be using the room. A notification that the room has one use only, and all use of the room must be on the schedule would probably help.

    Agreed.  They may really just think it's a personal room, often used by nursing mothers, and have no idea that there's a schedule they are messing with. 

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  • I would have said: "Oh I didn't realize someone else was pumping".
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  • image Netty_3:
    I would have said: "Oh I didn't realize someone else was pumping".


    Haha. This is funny.

    There actually isn't a sign on the outside of the door.

    There is a sign on the inside door that does read room for nursing mothers only. Please be respectfully and make sure to schedule your time on the outlook calendar. The outlook calendar is labeled mothers room.

    It's at eye level, but maybe he was so busy with his important phone call he didn't see when he closed the door.

    I am guessing there isn't a sign on the outside of the door for discretionary purposes. But I am definitely mentioning something to HR.
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  • Do other companies seriously have personal rooms?
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  • image financialdiva:
      I am guessing there isn't a sign on the outside of the door for discretionary purposes. But I am definitely mentioning something to HR.
    In one of the buildings on campus, they call it a "Mothers Room".  To the point, but yet not totally obvious what the room is for.  maybe they could put a sign like this on the outside?

    Regardless, as there IS a sign inside w/ an explanation - I think HR needs to remind people what the room is for.  

    And actually- where I used to work, you had to get a key from HR to go in the room.  Would that be worth suggesting?  Locking the room? 

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  • image EastCoastBride:

    image financialdiva:
     

    I am guessing there isn't a sign on the outside of the door for discretionary purposes. But I am definitely mentioning something to HR.
    In one of the buildings on campus, they call it a "Mothers Room".  To the point, but yet not totally obvious what the room is for.  maybe they could put a sign like this on the outside?

    Regardless, as there IS a sign inside w/ an explanation - I think HR needs to remind people what the room is for.  

    And actually- where I used to work, you had to get a key from HR to go in the room.  Would that be worth suggesting?  Locking the room? 



    They tried locking the room and at one point mom's had to go get the key, but our admin turnover like crazy here and I just think they just stopped bc it is such a hassle.

    Our company has 800 employees. The room is full from 9am to 5:30. It's an idea, but no one wants to own the responsibility, ya know? I will mention it though. Something needs to be done.
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  • image financialdiva:
    Do other companies seriously have personal rooms?

    I think they're pretty normal at big technology companies and investment banks -- places where all-nighters are expected and people might need to sometimes sleep for a few hours at the office.

    But, I've also seen/heard of offices with a lot of cubicles or open space layouts that have tiny rooms that are essentially phone booths -- 3x3 with a chair and a ledge for writing -- in case people need to make private calls.  I could see someone thinking that a small office had been converted for that purpose.  And if they were rushing for a place to duck in to call a doctor about important test results, maybe reading the fine print on the back of the door was not high on the priority list.

    I am, admittedly, giving the guys multiple layers of benefit of the doubt here -- maybe they're just jerks, and maybe they think they're fighting "reverse discrimination" or something stupid by claiming equal use for men of the private room.

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  • My old firm had the international breastfeeding symbol on the door of the nursing room. So did the firm I had depos with yesterday
    When it just said "mother's lounge" men still used it.
  • image PrivacyWanted:
    My old firm had the international breastfeeding symbol on the door of the nursing room. So did the firm I had depos with yesterday When it just said "mother's lounge" men still used it.

     This?  Interesteing, I've never seen it before.

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  • Pips09Pips09
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    image financialdiva:
    Do other companies seriously have personal rooms?

    We have a "Sick Room" that has a cot & chair. I think it has a small fridge also. You are allowed to use it if you are not feeling well, and it's also used for nursing mothers. I would be a little skeeved to pump in a room used by sick people, though.

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  • image Pips09:

    image financialdiva:
    Do other companies seriously have personal rooms?

    We have a "Sick Room" that has a cot & chair. I think it has a small fridge also. You are allowed to use it if you are not feeling well, and it's also used for nursing mothers. I would be a little skeeved to pump in a room used by sick people, though.



    That's ridiculous! Why would you be at work if you are too sick to work and need to go to a room???

    And I agree. I would not want to pump in a room that sick people hang out in.
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  • image financialdiva:
    image Pips09:

    image financialdiva:
    Do other companies seriously have personal rooms?

    We have a "Sick Room" that has a cot & chair. I think it has a small fridge also. You are allowed to use it if you are not feeling well, and it's also used for nursing mothers. I would be a little skeeved to pump in a room used by sick people, though.

    That's ridiculous! Why would you be at work if you are too sick to work and need to go to a room??? And I agree. I would not want to pump in a room that sick people hang out in.

    Migraine, morning sickness, chronic illness that makes you tired, any sort of circulation issue that requires you to elevate your feet...

    I can think of lots of non-contagious reasons why a person might want use a "sick room" for a 20 minute break.  BUT I probably wouldn't use it unless there were really clear signs saying it was not to be used by anyone who might be contagious.   

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  • ilanatilanat
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    Instead of a key, what if they could install a lock that makes you type in a number pass-code to open the door?  HR would only give the code to nursing mothers who use the room. 
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  • image Iblamethebeer:
    image financialdiva:
    image Pips09:

    image financialdiva:
    Do other companies seriously have personal rooms?

    We have a "Sick Room" that has a cot & chair. I think it has a small fridge also. You are allowed to use it if you are not feeling well, and it's also used for nursing mothers. I would be a little skeeved to pump in a room used by sick people, though.



    That's ridiculous! Why would you be at work if you are too sick to work and need to go to a room???

    And I agree. I would not want to pump in a room that sick people hang out in.

    Migraine, morning sickness, chronic illness that makes you tired, any sort of circulation issue that requires you to elevate your feet...

    I can think of lots of non-contagious reasons why a person might want use a "sick room" for a 20 minute break.  BUT I probably wouldn't use it unless there were really clear signs saying it was not to be used by anyone who might be contagious.   



    Gah! Good point. My mind went to contagious illnesses like colds and flu.

    I am going to blame that on lack of sleep ;]
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  • In NY there are two mother's rooms and one personal room.  The personal room has an outlook calendar and can be booked for overflow pumping.  I booked the personal room for one of my slots one day.  A guy was trying to find a room to sleep and thought that would be the room - I don't think most guys "get" the whole pumping/timing/stress thing.  At all. 
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  • I have never seen this before! (the international breast feeding sign) sorry the quote feature didn't work.

    I wonder if the dude on the phone would have been able to figure out what the sign meant.

     

    Edit: to reference int'l BF image.



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  • image 2chatter:
    In NY there are two mother's rooms and one personal room.  The personal room has an outlook calendar and can be booked for overflow pumping.  I booked the personal room for one of my slots one day.  A guy was trying to find a room to sleep and thought that would be the room - I don't think most guys "get" the whole pumping/timing/stress thing.  At all. 

    The mothers rooms at my company have a keypad lock - works great.

    Also, I've only been a mom for 11 months and can clearly remember a time when I was CLUELESS about pumping.  I don't think I even knew that women pumped at work.  Why would I know this having never been through it and never having discussed it with my mom friends?

    I'd give the men a break and ask HR to patiently educate them on the use of the room and why, since the demand is so high, they need to understand that other uses of the room are not permitted.  And if they want to make a fuss then let them deal with HR.

  • image ilanat:
    Instead of a key, what if they could install a lock that makes you type in a number pass-code to open the door?  HR would only give the code to nursing mothers who use the room. 

    This is what we have done, and it has worked well.  

    Will baby #3 be another girl?


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  • We have a sign on our Mom's room door that says "Mom's Room" and most people stay away.  There is also a schedule posted inside to know when people are suppsoed to be in there (Or there was when there were 4 of us pumping). 

     

    I have gone into the mom's room to lay down.  I had a spat of migraines and just needed a few minutes.  I'm not pumping now and I would be nervous to use the mom's room because I'm out of the loop.

    I did store our training comptuer cart in the mom's room one day - the storage room was locked, so I put them in there overnight.  Most people were gone for the day so it was fine...but I felt guilty.

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  • I would say something. Our room is labeled "mother's privacy room". Kinda gets the point across... I was most annoyed by a woman who was had to have a nurse visit the office for something she needed using it when there were 3 of us trying to share the room for pumping and we were literally stacked a 30 minute intervals....
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  • I vote better signage (outside the door)and a nice reminder from hr to everyone...

    i get needing the room but to the pp, if someone had a medical need that required a nurse coming to their workplace (I would assume this would mean some sort of medication administration like an injection, etc, or small procedure that is somewhat invasive) if there is nowhere else in the workplace that allows privacy for something like that, why does your pumping trump her medical need? Did she reserve the room according to the rules?  Esp if it was a one time thing, give her a break if you don't even know what it was for, geez.

  • I read this to DH and we both immediately thought "The room of requirement"! LOL. Hell yes I would say something to HR.
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  • The mother's room at my job is next door to an office and if there's a wait for an appointment, they sometimes ended up in the mother's room (with the permission of the person who worked in the office).

    I shut that down pretty quickly, but everyone who I kicked out was embarrassed but nice enough to leave straightaway.

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