One & Done: Only child

OAD but ...

So I just had my first a month ago. Spouse and I weren't even sure we wanted kids at all, so we (especially him) are pretty set on being OAD. 

BUT I'm having a problem. I had an easy pregnancy and didn't mind it at all. I had nothing really to complain about and I strangely miss resting my hand on my belly and feeling her moving inside of me (I never thought I'd miss being pregnant but here we are! lol). And I loved giving birth. I've never felt so empowered and my birthing was a truly beautiful experience for me (I had an at-home water birth). It sounds totally crazy, but I would really love to be pregnant and give birth again. Granted, there are no guarantees that next time would be anything like this time, so a part of me just wants to cherish it and be glad that everything went so beautifully, but when I think about never having that experience again, it makes me sad, and I've been feeling this way for weeks. 

Am I crazy? Does anyone else feel this way? I wish surrogacy didn't involve all those needles, LOL, otherwise I would totally do it!  

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Re: OAD but ...

  • You are still early after giving birth...I had that feeling for the first six months or so, but then it went away for me....especially since DD became a "handful" after six months.  We are not able to have more kids, but  really don't know if I would want to go through all of that again.  So, I guess I am saying, that your thought may change over time....But keep your options open and keep things open between you and your SO.
  • meo34meo34
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    I second enjoying your little one for now.  Don't take any permanent measures and revisit in a year or two and see how you feel.  You don't have to decide right away.

    I can't really relate, I did have a great prenancy and my son was an awesome baby but the delivery and complications were rough.  Not that we couldn't have more but strongly advised not to.  I don't recall having a feeling of wanting to be pregnant again but it was awhile ago now. And my experience wasn't positive. 

  • I can't say I ever thought that or felt that way after having my daughter. I was adamant about how it was going to be and that I have too many health issues to do it again since my diabetes got worse after I had my DD. I'm a type 1 diabetic and my pregnancy wasn't awesome because I was in nursing school and going to all the appointments. I had never been that emotional in my life and I was extremely mean to my team of doctors and their nurses. My first team of doctors I fired when their nurses weren't relaying my messages and the doctors were talking about delivering at 36 weeks via c-section. I also threatened to punch the dietitian I was forced to see the day my induction started. She was lying to me and I wasn't gonna put up with it. However my delivery was awesome and the way I wanted it to be, but all my doctors advised that I never have more children. However my OBGYN told me I shouldn't have more children, but she did want to leave me the option, so she wouldn't do the hysterectomy like I wanted. I tried to even talk her into it before I delivered my daughter, so we had birth control planned and I would be able to save a lot of money on pads & tampons. I wish she would have done the hysterectomy right after I had my daughter...
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  • I totally understand. The idea of getting rid of maternity clothes is harder than getting rid of the baby clothes. I did not have an easy labor, but I loved being pregnant.
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  • I agree with PPs that you're still fresh off of the experience, so for now try to enjoy your daughter!  Give yourself some time to think about it, and if you still feel like you may want another have an open and honest conversation with your H.  If you still decide you're both O&D, that's fine too!
  • I don't think it's crazy to miss being pregnant or the birth part. That's awesome that your birth went just the way you wanted it to!

    I had a pretty easy time with being pregnant. I miss feeling her kick and I loved the anticipation of her actually getting here. But then I just remember that going through all that again would mean that I would have another child to raise afterward and that pretty much takes care of that.

    Also I agree with PPs. You are just a month out. I was still really emotional around that time.

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  • image salt78:

    I don't think it's crazy to miss being pregnant or the birth part. That's awesome that your birth went just the way you wanted it to!

    I had a pretty easy time with being pregnant. I miss feeling her kick and I loved the anticipation of her actually getting here. But then I just remember that going through all that again would mean that I would have another child to raise afterward and that pretty much takes care of that.

    Also I agree with PPs. You are just a month out. I was still really emotional around that time.

     Exactly this! I had a very easy pregnancy and labor and delivery, but the PPD was enough to make me one and done, let your emotions settle and then decide, at a month out I was still crying at least 6 hours a day!

  • I'm the exact opposite. I would love another LO, but infertility issues plus a horrible, high- risk pregnancy and hard recovery from a C-section are what have me lurking on this board. If I did not have to go through IF treatments, the pregnancy and the recovery, it would be a non-issue. I have found actually having my DS to be easier than all of the aforementioned. DH thought the newborn stage was harder, but then again he didn't go through a pre-e, bed rest, debilitating nausea for 5 months, pregnancy or have to go though IF procedures other than just giving his sample in a cup.
    IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
    2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
    BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
    Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
    BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014

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