February 2012 Moms

Oh this is going to be long. GIL is awful.

So...I respect the elderly and all...but what about being 80 gives some people the feeling that they don't have to have respect for anyone, at all, ever?!

I have had plenty of frustrations with this woman, but have never voiced them because H has asked me not to, but today I didn't hold back or give into her.

Emma and I have colds. It's lovely, snot everywhere.

GIL shows up at our house at 9:30 this morning, which may not seem super early for some, but for these two sickies, it is. When I open the door, without saying anything to me, she starts to walk in. I didn't move and said "Hi Marcelle, what's going on?"

This is our exchange:

G-"I am coming in."

Me-"No, Emma and I are both sick and are not up for visitors"

(I mean I am clearly not feeling well, I have greasy bangs in my face, my nose is red, and I have sneezed a few times since answering the door. I have to basically yell everything I say because she cannot hear, it's not fun with a sore throat.)

G-"Why can I not come in?"

Me-"We don't feel good, but you can call us and come over in a couple days when David (H) will be home and we can make dinner. I am sure we'll feel better by then"

G-:I am busy this weekend."

(She then tries to walk in my house again.)

Me-"I am sorry Marcelle, you cannot come in. If you had called me, I would have told you about our colds."

G-"I won't get sick, don't worry about me."

(again, tries to walk in.)

Me-"I am not worried about you, we're not up for visitors, and just want to rest on the couch."

G-"I am busy the next few days and you guys never want to visit with me, so I came over and I want to visit now!"

Me-"Call back when you have time and are not busy and we'll work something out. Bye Marcelle."

G-"but..."

(closes door in the middle of her talking.)

Within 5 minutes, no joke, I get a call from H, telling me he got a call from his dad. He asked me if I yelled at GIL!! What the HELLLL?! I didn't yell, I was as nice as possible. Oh and apparently slammed the door in her face.

 

H is always telling me not to argue with her "because she could leave the argument and die, and wouldn't I feel terrible". Seriously though, she walks all over everyone. The other day, my IL's were incredibly busy, mowing their lawns that in total are about 40 acres. She called my FIL telling him that her car needed to be washed. It's about to rain which is why they were rushing to finish mowing. He tells her he can't, and lists all the things he is doing. She says, well it needs to be washed. 5 Minutes later she showed up, parked in the middle of the yard he was mowing and gave him the keys and walked into my IL's house and asked my MIL to make her coffee. My FIL stopped what he was doing and washed her car. My MIL stopped what she was doing and made the woman coffee. I told H that if she ever tried that with me, I just wouldn't do it. He told me that I should pick my battles and she could die so we shouldn't argue. This woman could live 20 more years and I am supposed to walk on eggs shells around her because she could die any minute.  

So 212, was I insensitive for not allowing her to come into my home when she didn't call ahead of time, AND Emma and I have colds?!! As you can tell, I already know the dammn answer. UGH. H isn't mad, he laughed about it, because he could just picture the exchange. He said he was happy he wasn't there. Me too, because he would have let her in most likely.

Anyways, no real point here other than my GIL is a jerk face. 

 

ETA: I have to add that my thoughts are now overly aggressive thanks to this exchange. Watch out bump...I may get snarky. 



imageimage


BFP #1 July 4, 2011 Baby girl born Feb 22, 2012!!
BFP #2 December 17, 2012 MMC January 24, 2013
BFP #3 April 7, 2013 Baby girl born December 11, 2013!!
Amelia has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. She has had 3 open heart surgeries, 1 g-tube surgery, and one tracheostomy. She is the strongest, most precious little fighter. 
You can follow her at. Www.ameliafaithsheart.blogspot.com

Re: Oh this is going to be long. GIL is awful.

  • Ummmmm.....you are kind of my hero for this.  I <3 you!

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    Lilypie - (JrNi)

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  • image MrMrsandBaby:
    Ummmmm.....you are kind of my hero for this.nbsp; I lt;3 you!

    This! She sounds very much like my GIL! DH is over at her house at least twice a week helping her with something. Now that she's retired she wants to remodel her entire house, and expects DH to do a lot of it. DH never says no because she's lost everyone else in her life, save BIL :: who lives with her but doesn't do squat::
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  • W O W ! There's something about that age I guess because my grandmother acts the same way! You can't have a conversation without her making it about her. She's rude and inconsiderate. She gets her feelings hurt if you can't/don't stop what you're doing to tend to her...but in the same breath she'll say how busy you are, or how tired you look... I probably would've done the same thing you did. Just because she's old does not give her the right to let all common courtesygo out the window!

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  • I don't answer the door for anyone if they show up unannounced except for my mom or dad. I can handle that. But in laws and friends know they better never show up bc they will not come in!

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  • You are amazing and handled this exactly right. Its rude of your GIL to act like that and congrats for not giving in.
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  • Um, really?  That is exactly what I would have done.  I'm up for visitors pretty much whenever but last week when I had strep I was not someone to visit.  Some girl showed up at the door and I had been napping on the couch.  The dogs went crazy and I honestly thought it was the neighbor so I opened the door.  It was some girl trying to sell books or magazines.  She tried to shake my hand, I told her I had strep and didn't want to pass it on.  She said ok and tried again.  I repeated what I said.  She started in on her spill and I stopped her and said I didn't feel well and wouldn't be buying anything.  She kept going.  I told her again I wasn't buying and she tried to keep going.  I started to shut the door and she put her hand against the door.   I told her she had about 5 secs to get off my porch.  She finally started to get the message but not before trying to shake my hand again.  I should have just shook her hand and hoped I passed the strep along :)
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  • I personally would not have done what you did.   And I can say if my DH did that to my Grandmother I would be really upset.  Even as polite as you were, I'd prepare for a sh!tstorm from your ILs.  

    With that all said, my family and I have different boundaries than the average family. Our Grandmothers are super sweet and loving so it's hard to wrap my mind around a mean selfish old lady.    

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  • image Mar5195:

    I personally would not have done what you did.   And I can say if my DH did that to my Grandmother I would be really upset.  Even as polite as you were, I'd prepare for a sh!tstorm from your ILs.  

    With that all said, my family and I have different boundaries than the average family. Our Grandmothers are super sweet and loving so it's hard to wrap my mind around a mean selfish old lady.    

    I am glad my H isn't mad at me for this, because I wouldn't care. You can't show up unannounced to someone's house and expect to be let in. ESPECIALLY after you have been told that they're sick and are not up for visitors. It's incredibly rude. 

    As for my IL's I think everyone except my FIL will want to bow down to me. They all want to do what I did, but don't have the guts. Honestly, if I hadn't been sick, I would have probably just let her in and dealt with it. 



    imageimage


    BFP #1 July 4, 2011 Baby girl born Feb 22, 2012!!
    BFP #2 December 17, 2012 MMC January 24, 2013
    BFP #3 April 7, 2013 Baby girl born December 11, 2013!!
    Amelia has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. She has had 3 open heart surgeries, 1 g-tube surgery, and one tracheostomy. She is the strongest, most precious little fighter. 
    You can follow her at. Www.ameliafaithsheart.blogspot.com
  • image MrMrsandBaby:
    Ummmmm.....you are kind of my hero for this.  I <3 you!

     

    THIS! 

  • image EmmaBoBemma:
    image Mar5195:

    I personally would not have done what you did.   And I can say if my DH did that to my Grandmother I would be really upset.  Even as polite as you were, I'd prepare for a sh!tstorm from your ILs.  

    With that all said, my family and I have different boundaries than the average family. Our Grandmothers are super sweet and loving so it's hard to wrap my mind around a mean selfish old lady.    

    I am glad my H isn't mad at me for this, because I wouldn't care. You can't show up unannounced to someone's house and expect to be let in. ESPECIALLY after you have been told that they're sick and are not up for visitors. It's incredibly rude. 

    As for my IL's I think everyone except my FIL will want to bow down to me. They all want to do what I did, but don't have the guts. Honestly, if I hadn't been sick, I would have probably just let her in and dealt with it. 

    I think you're drawing boundaries and it's a good thing.  I'm not sure why you should be expected to entertain visitors when you and your child are sick.

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    Lilypie - (vjFY)image

  • Sometimes old people have ALWAYS been jerks... just b/c they are old doesn't mean it's okay.  Ten thousand points to you, BTW!  I would guess she's always been a pushy brat... no fun.  Good for you, though!



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  • Uh, no. ... helloooooooo
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  • Awesome. I wish I had the guts to do that. Kudos to you.

     

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