Stay at Home Moms

If you quit to SAH, what's better/worse now?

For mobile: If you quit to SAH, what's better/worse now?

After having 3 kids as a FTWM, I'm leaving my job at the end of the year to SAH. While this is something I've wanted to try for a long time, I'm freaked out as well as excited. It's going to be a huge change. I would have been happy to work PT but my current employer was only willing to offer part time on a limited term. DH and I feel that it's just way too out of control for both of us to be working FT right now with our small kids, commutes, & schedules.

As I'm thinking about the future...how has it gone for you? What's better in your life and what's worse/harder now that you SAH? Thanks! 

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Re: If you quit to SAH, what's better/worse now?

  • Well I stayed home ever since I had LO.  So I don't know what it's like to work FT with a baby.

    What's nice (compared to stories from my other working mom friends):

    I have more time to do chores and such so when DH is home, we can enjoy the weekends etc.

    LO has only been mildly sick once at 9 mo old.

    I can EBF, and don't have to worry much about pumping.

    Cons:

    I don't get a break from the kid.  I'm with him 24/7.

    He's really stinking attached to mama. (this may be normal for working moms too i dont know)

    I feel guilty when the house is still a mess because I'm home all day.  

    I'm home all day.  The house is my workplace now and so I try to get out now that it's nicer, but even that can be exhausting taking a kid out all day. 

  • What's better? I am so much more social now. Quitting work forced me to get out and meet people on my own. The workplace provided ready made interaction with no effort, kwim?

     Obviously, time with my kids

    I have also become much more efficient. With activities, eating at home, household stuff, more kids than when I worked, I've really learned to juggle more and get things done faster.

    What's worse? My house is a mess and takes way more work to keep up.

    I really miss spending more time with DH.

    Both of these would likely still be worse just by adding more kids (I only had one when I worked full time).

    There's probably plenty more for each group, these are just a few that come to mind right now.

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  • Adding in to what others have said, I really enjoy staying home, but I find it an be harder to relate to some WM or women without kids. When meeting someone new, I'm usually asked why I do, and when I say I'm a SAHM, the response is just "oh"... As if there's nothing else going on in my life or I'm uneducated and never worked. It's really my Achilles heel...every time it happens I get in a little funk and spend a day or so questioning my choices, but I'm soon over it and glad to be home.
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  • 2-Step2-Step
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    I'm technically a working mom, but I do freelance work from home about 20 hrs per week so my kids go to preschool 2 days. Compared to my corporate full time job, I feel like a SAHM. I quit my job last August. 

    For me it has been a really great change. The transition took some getting used to, especially because it was during the winter and there wasn't a lot to do with the kids since it was cold and rainy. It took me about six months to really get adjusted to a new routine that works for everyone. In the beginning I struggled with finding a balance of time for myself and time to do the chores around here. I felt guilty if I wasn't engaging the kids every second. I didn't realize how much just having lunch or coffee without interruption was a nice break each day at work. I've since figured out that I need to do things for myself like go to the gym in the mornings and put the kids in the daycare there for an hour while I workout with a friend. I meet a friend for walks on our local trail and put the kids in the stroller quite often. It's really important for me to get out and have some time where I can talk or do things that aren't 100% kid focused. It's also important for me to let them play independently sometimes so I can get things done around here. And yes they do get to watch TV when I need to start dinner etc. I had to kind of give up the idea that just because I was SAH I would be the perfect, attentive mother all the time. It's still a balance of everyone's needs. 

    Overall it has been really great for our family. The house runs much more smoothly, it's cleaner, we're eating much healthier and my DH has less responsibility once he's home from work so he can relax more.

    The budget has been a little tough to get used to, because I was making good money and buying a lot of things for myself, like clothes, books etc. and we took a LOT of vacations, which we've had to put in check. But I've found a way to make it all work. Good luck with your transition!  

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  • I have been home for 2 months now after working FT and I love it!

    We aren't rushing out the door anymore each morning. DH and I actually get to sleep in. My house is cleaner and I have actually been able to attend a moms group and do more activities with my kids. It is also nice not having to worry about scheduling appointments. We were running behind at the doctor the other day. If I had been working I would have been worried about how much sick time I was burning, but since SAH I don't have those worries.

    Cons would be that you are with your kid in good and bad all the time. I don't get a lot of breaks like I did when working. As I write this my 3 year old is throwing a major fit. When I was working FT I only saw the girls for 2 to 3 hours each night and they were always happy to see me. Being home with them full time has made me see them at their worst and sometimes I feel like locking myself in the next room over.

    Overall, I like SAH a lot more than working and wouldn't trade it.
    "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
    Goodbye little angel(7/22/2011)....see you in heaven
    Goodbye my second angel (9/18/2011)
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  • Everything everyone else said but also a con is I feel a little shabby now. I used to wear suits and heels  to work every day and now I wear jeans and flats. I wish I had more time and money to put into my image. Still trying to figure out how to balance it all. Oh and a pro is I save a lot on my wardrobe and dry cleaning now. 
  • Good question! My last day at work was last Friday. As we prepare to move across country, I realize I need to make a huge commitment to my LO and myself to meet new friends and children to play with. Natalie LOVES her school/daycare so I will definitely need to ensure she is still stimulated enough during the day. I hope I stress less and fid time to cook more.
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  • DochasDochas
    Tenth Anniversary 250 Answers 2500 Comments 100 Love Its
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    We have less money.  That's the only negative.
    TTC since September '08 After 2 m/c - lap for stage 3-4 endo Oct '09 Bravelle w/Ovidrel trigger - iui on 11/07 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Well, I quit during maternity leave so I don't know what it is like to work full-time and care for a baby. I worked at a clinic so I easily could put in 10 hours during say....a Saturday. If there was an emergency, I would be stuck closing at midnight.

    I guess what is better is being able to actually spend time with families and friends.

    What is worse... having to ask husband for money. So far I am not liking that part. But I get to be home for my daughter so I guess it all makes up for it.

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  • I've never worked full time with children. I did work days 15-20 hours a week from the time my ds was born until his second bday. I prefer being home during the day instead of working.  I miss the money and adult socialization but not as much as the freedom sah brings.  

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