Jealousy...

Necie2011

I have a 2 boys .. one 20mo and the other 2mo.  My 20mo gets jealous when I have to deal with the younger one.  When I breastfeed the 2mo, my eldest wants to be in my lap and tries to push the baby out of the way.  He has hit, bit and also thrown toys at the baby. His fits have progressively gotten worse and he barely listens to us.  How do I make this easier on ALL of us?  I try to spend any down time (from the baby) with my 20mo old but I am not thinking its enough..

Any suggestions would be great!! 

gingerbabe

Man that can get dangerous!

He wants attention, and if you're giving it to him when he's misbehaving (even if the attention comes in the from of yelling or lecturing) it's reinforcing his bad behavior. I don't know your parenting style, but have you read love and logic? It suggests staying calm, putting them in their room, door closed, and not speaking to them(but you stay by the door so you know they are ok) . Then when they are calm, give them a hug, say I love you and move on (no lectures). when he behaves well, praise him, give him attention for the things you want him to do more of. 

Just my 2 cents. For all I know you have already tried this stuff. 

Qmommy

I quickly learned that DD1 was fine if I sat on the floor to play with her while BFing DD2.  Also walking around the house to BF vs sitting in a chair helped DD1 keep her cool and always talk with her or sing songs or play games with DD1 while DD2 was BFing helped a ton.  As soon as I was done feeding I could put her down and cuddle with DD1 if needed.