June 2013 Moms

Facebook

I'm not sure if anyone feels the same way I do, but I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of having my baby's picture plastered all over Facebook within hours of her birth.  I am trying to come up with a tactful way of asking people not to post pictures of her, at least until DH and I have had the chance to announce the birth to the rest of our friends and family in our own way.  Honestly, I would rather not have any pictures of her posted at all, ever.  But that is going to be impossible to avoid.  Our parents won't be an issue, because while they have Facebook, they barely use it.  I'm more concerned about our sisters, cousins, and my crazy aunt who has to look like she is the FIRST to know and announce everything.  Are any of you concerned about this or have you dealt with it in the past?

Re: Facebook

  • My sister is a Facebook addict and loves posting pictures. I just said you are not to post ANY pictures of my daughter on fb unless you ask me first. Just tell people you'd rather not have pictures of the baby on the Internet. I'm sure they'll understand
  • Maybe you can not allow anyone other than you and DH to take pictures at the hospital. And once pictures are taken just make it clear that you don't want pictures often baby posted without your permission.
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  • skioskio
    5000 Comments 250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its
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    H and I didn't have FB when DD was born, and we simply told people who did that we didn't want pictures of her on Facebook or any other networking sites. There's nothing weird or tacky about it. Your kid, your choice. Stand your ground.

    We still have that rule. I have a super secret FB account that I use now only for connecting with local moms and I rarely post pics of DD. When I do, I delete them a few days later. No one else is allowed to post pictures of my kids.
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  • Is it a privacy concern, a desire to announce the birth yourself, or more related to the idea that you want to "control" what pics are posted? I think you can try to ask friends/family to please let you & DH make "the big announcement", and hopefully they respect that request, but be prepared for news & pics to leak....in fact, traditionally (before FB), a lot of families would call around to let everyone know that baby had arrived, while Mom & Dad rested.

    Edit: I don't find it "creepy" that your family would want to share the news of their new grandchild/niece/nephew/cousin with their friends. A baby touches many people's lives. We can't control other adult's behavior (or their FB privacy setting). I guess I'm not clear on what the main "concern" is here, exactly....what is the fear that's driving the desire to control everyone else's FB? It's 2013, and with 70% of the US on FB, people can & do post pics of events they attend, because its THEIR life...if you are part of their life, you might see yourself of their FB page. 

  • I have friends who are the same way, and I felt the same way...until DH posted a pic while I was recovering from my C-section. I guess we hadn't discussed that...

    Just talk to them and tell them no pictures. If you have to, just don't allow them to take pictures. Why do their friends need to see pics of your baby anyway? That's creepy to me.

    The only person (besides DH and me) who ever posts pics of DS is my dad, and it's very rare since we don't see them often. In his case, it's just not worth fighting over, so I don't say anything. I did ask him to change his privacy settings, though, since his profile was pretty open, and he at least did that. It's only a couple of pics a year.

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  • We have a rule about no one posting pics of DS but us and well be keeping it for 2. We have to remind family and friends from time to time but we've talked to everyone about it. My DH is really adamant about it because he's in the security field and Facebook just isn't a secure place. I occasionally post a pic, maybe every other month or so, but that is it.
  • My husband and I have said this since the moment we got pregnant that we will not be doing this at all whatsoever. We live 6 hours from all of our family and friends and will be at the hospital alone, so we pretty much have full control over this in a sense. We are not texting any pictures to anyone besides immediate family, and have made extreamly clear that we do not want them posted or retexted out to anyone. Our friends will get texts that our LO has arrived and all is well no pictures. We are not posting pictures of him until we are home and settled. We want to do it old school and call immediate family then have a chance to get to know our LO for the first few days alone before family comes into town. Then he can make his FB debut. 

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  • When I went into labor I shut my Facebook down so that no one could post on my wall at all.  Good thing I did because my brother took it upon himself to announce the birth and the baby's name (!) before I could.  I can't control what shows up on his wall but I can make it so I'm not tagged in anything.

    You can also just email family members and ask them to remove photos.

  • We kept it simple and just told people that we would rather they not post anything on Facebook until we've had a chance.  I don't think that will hold people off forever, but it will at least buy us some time.  In general, H and I don't post a whole lot and people have respected our privacy about that for the entire pregnancy, so I am not expecting any changes now (I only announced I was even pregnant on FB at 8 months+).  
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    Bennett Andrew
    House Elf in Training since 6/4/13



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  • I don't want my baby's picture on Facebook at all but unfortunately some of my in laws posted some.

    if I wanted my pictures on Facebook I'd have a Facebook account! 

  • It has nothing to do with me wanting to control what people post. It's a privacy thing. I'm just no comfortable with my child's face being posted all.over the internet. I know I can't control what people post about their own lives, but I would like them to at least hold off long enough for DH and I to get the news out there. That way I can avoid the, "Why wasn't I called???" discussion. Some of my extended family have boundary issues, and stating things nicely doesn't always work. They are, "We must be the FIRST to know!" type of people and have pretty much ignored anything I have said about labor and baby thus far. I don't have much reason to believe that my No Facebook request will go over any differently.
  • Tell them not to post pictures. And if they do ask them to remove them immediately. Your kid, your choice. 
    Please forgive my typos! I'm not as dumb as my iphone would like you to believe :)
    The Maiden Metallurgist
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  • Just tell your friends and family what your wishes are regarding Facebook posts.
    I am more concerned that one of our family will post the news on fb before we get to, and our plan is to wait a few days to do that. So we will be letting them know if they want to visit at the hospital and take pictures, they will have to keep them private.
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  • I'd just tell them not to. Your baby, your right to privacy. I deleted fb because its too intruding, and annoying.
  • When you send a pic, write a note with it asking them not to post it anywhere. Hopefully they will listen. If it worries you, don't send them a pic. Let them wait for you to post it on FB.
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  • My MIL is my only concern .. She posts everything she knows about everyone and I just don't find it to be anyone's business that we will 1. Not be home for a few days I'm weird about that or 2. All the dirty details about my labor. I could tell her from now til pigs fly not to do it and she still would .. She would claim she forgot or didn't mean to .. Lets be honest. This is the same woman who told my husband's entire family I have severe preeclampsia which I don't have at all because she noticed some swelling in my feet and ankles. Imagine my surprise when they were all asking if I was ok and going to be able to carry the baby to full term without any concerns for my own well being. Ahhhh!! Sorry .. Slightly off topic
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