Stay at Home Moms

S/o those who say theyre not a short order cook...

It seems like the consensus here is that people make one thing for dinner and that's it, if the kid doesn't eat they can go to bed hungry.

wdyd if what you cooked for dinner is something your kid just doesn't like? If they've given it an honest try, do they not get anything else? Do you only cook things your kid(s) will eat?

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Re: S/o those who say theyre not a short order cook...

  • This was my beef with that post yesterday. We like pork. DS1 apparently does not. We have offered and offered and he has tried multiple times.

    So he gets sides and then anything easy he asks for cheese stick, crackers, a banana. Whatever.
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  • HHHmmmmm....interesting question.  This hasn't really arisen yet because DS is so young but I would imagine that, once he can speak, that if he really does try something and truly, honestly, does not like it, that he could have something else.  Maybe leftovers or something easy to whip up.

    BUT, I think it would depend on the overall situation though, like if he frequently is doing this then I would think he's just being picky as opposed to a one-time thing. 

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  • I've really struggled w this. I said in another post that I have given up making DD a special meal as of this week. So far I'm sticking to it. If she doesn't eat dinner she can eat all the fruits and veggies she wants. I'm not going to let her go to bed hungry but I'm also not going to continue making her a separate meal.

    It took me a while to be confident that this was the right course of action. DD knows how to eat and eats well. Some days she apparently isn't hungry. I'm not going to keep making meals until she finds something she wants to eat.
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  • We follow the three servings rule: a main course/protein, a veggie and a starch (bread, rice or pasta or potato). 

    I have at least one of the servings something the kids will eat , but usually two unless its a casserole type item.  

    I also make sure that the 4yo's serving sizes are appropriate sizes.  

    This way she only has to eat 4 small bites of the "new or yucky" food and then has the rest to fill up on.  And if she doesnt eat the 'yucky' food, she still has the other items.  

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  • I'm not very adamant about never ever being a short order cook, but I'm also too lazy to make two separate meals. I just always try to have something the boys will eat. If they don't like our protein, I do a veggie I know they'll like. I also occasionally give them a snack before bed, so nights when they don't eat a lot of dinner I try to do something filling like oatmeal or yogurt or toast with peanut butter.
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  • Well my kids are old enlightened that I specifically know their likes and dislikes so I always have something for dinner they will eat. If it is a specific protein they can sub yogurt or a cheese stick.  
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • Since I still BF the toddler before bed there is no way in hell I wouldn't make him something he will eat. Otherwise I'm the one who pays having to feed him milk longer or deal with tantrum if I don't let him.
  • CnAmomCnAmom
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    I really make an effort to make things that everyone can/will eat. If I make an entree I know DS1 can't eat I will make something else for him and include sides that I know he can eat.
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  • I don't force him to eat food he legitimately doesn't like. He has to try it and if he truly doesn't like it, he can have something else. Usually he'll take several bites before asking for something different. That's good enough for me.

    Also if DH and I are really wanting something DS doesn't like I just make him something different and don't even make him try it. Once he's had it enough and won't eat it, I'm fine with not pushing it. There are foods DH and I don't like, why should we not allow DS to develop his own likes/dislikes? 


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  • image amy052006:
    This was my beef with that post yesterday. We like pork. DS1 apparently does not. We have offered and offered and he has tried multiple times. So he gets sides and then anything easy he asks for cheese stick, crackers, a banana. Whatever.

    this is the same issue with both our kids-they're pork haters. Maybe they were pigs in a past life or something.lol. I'm kind of conflicted. I agree with the premise that kids should eat what adults eat, but I also don't see the logic in letting my kid go to bed with only low calorie vegetables in his/her belly because they tried something numerous times but genuinely don't like it. 

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  • ariel06ariel06
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    I'll offer string cheese, yogurts, fruit, veggies, etc. as long as they've tried everything else.  DS2 wakes up extra early if he decides against eating dinner, so I try to make sure he eats something if he seems hungry.
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  • DD has never not liked what we eat, so that hasn't been an issue yet. She even loves the really spicy indian or thai food I make. In theory, though, I think she'd always have to at least try it each time we had it, and then I'd make sure there were a selection of sides for her to eat. I wouldn't make her a special main course. 

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  • image amy052006:
    This was my beef with that post yesterday. We like pork. DS1 apparently does not. We have offered and offered and he has tried multiple times. So he gets sides and then anything easy he asks for cheese stick, crackers, a banana. Whatever.

    But that's not a full meal you are fixing for him. I'm talking about people making fish for them and then pasta with butter for kids. That's crazy to me.

    DD likes all the things I cook, at least the protein part, I don't mind if she doesn't eat the starch/carb that goes with it. I don't replace it. But, I also don't run out and making things I know she won't like, like asian food. If I loved it, I would, but we don't, so we get our fix from the local Thai takeout place...where she will eat Pad Prik Pork. 

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  • N gets a peanut butter sandwich or a banana if she doesn't eat what I serve. I hated going to be hungry as a kid and quite frankly I was very small and probably shouldn't have. I'm not going to cook a separate meal but there are things I just don't like so I know there will be things she won't like. I plan to require to try everything and if she really doesn't like it, she can have a pb sandwich.

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  • When I cook I make sure there is at least something that everyone will happily eat.  If DS doesn't want anything other than broccoli then that may be all he's eating for dinner that night.  Sometimes he gets a modified version of what we're eating.  I never jump up from dinner to make him something else.  
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  • If I'm making something I know they don't like, but I want it then I will be prepared to make a quick sandwich. I do have them try what I made though. You never know when they may like the shrimp they didn't like last time. I do try to serve at least one or two things that everyone likes though, so it's rare. If they can fill up on broccoli and potatoes then I don't make the sandwich.

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  • roxy_jjroxy_jj
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    DD is rather picky and often doesn't like what I cook.  She is really good about trying things and some she has tried many times and just doesn't like them.  I always make sure to have sides that she'll eat.  I will also sometimes give her a cheese stick or if we have leftovers from another meal, she'll eat that. 
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  • My oldest is a great eater, he'll try anything. So if he says he doesn't like something, I know it's really true. I make a point to avoid dishes that he honestly doesn't like. That's not hard, they're few and far between. If I make something new and he doesn't like it, he just fills up on whatever else is being served with the meal. We always have bread and a vegetable, and I know he'll eat those no matter what.

    My youngest eats nothing, so I've stopped even considering what he likes, because he never eats anything at dinner, anyway. So he doesn't get a vote.

    Both kids are welcome to have milk and a banana between dinner and bedtime. I chose a banana because they'll both eat them, but neither of them really loves them. It's not a food that's worth holding out for, but it's still good for them and gets something in their stomachs if they decide to boycott dinner.


  • image KateMW:

    image amy052006:
    This was my beef with that post yesterday. We like pork. DS1 apparently does not. We have offered and offered and he has tried multiple times. So he gets sides and then anything easy he asks for cheese stick, crackers, a banana. Whatever.

    But that's not a full meal you are fixing for him. I'm talking about people making fish for them and then pasta with butter for kids. That's crazy to me.

    DD likes all the things I cook, at least the protein part, I don't mind if she doesn't eat the starch/carb that goes with it. I don't replace it. But, I also don't run out and making things I know she won't like, like asian food. If I loved it, I would, but we don't, so we get our fix from the local Thai takeout place...where she will eat Pad Prik Pork. 

    im failing to see the difference in giving a kids snacks when they don't like dinner vs making pasta with butter which requires minimal effort. Aren't you kind of catering either way?  

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  • If he really doesn't like what we are having (spicy food, some kind of seafood) or isn't healthy enough for him (chinese take away, crappy fast food burguers and such) we heat up some left overs for him or just make a quick plate of pasta (we always have homemade sauces in the freezer).

    He usually also has a piece of fruit after dinner no matter what 

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  • The only time I give them something separate is if I accidentally made it too spicy for them.  For supper we will often have a casserole, vegetable, fruit and milk.  If she doesn't like the casserole she can fill up on veggies, fruit and milk.  They will be fine not getting the protein at one meal.  If I provide a sandwich if they don't like something, they'll never be motivated to try new things.  Often times DD1 will say she doesn't like something but then when she realizes she isn't getting something else, she'll try it and like it.  If it looks different and new to her, she will say she doesn't like it before she ever tries it.
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  • image KC_13:
    image KateMW:

    image amy052006:
    This was my beef with that post yesterday. We like pork. DS1 apparently does not. We have offered and offered and he has tried multiple times. So he gets sides and then anything easy he asks for cheese stick, crackers, a banana. Whatever.

    But that's not a full meal you are fixing for him. I'm talking about people making fish for them and then pasta with butter for kids. That's crazy to me.

    DD likes all the things I cook, at least the protein part, I don't mind if she doesn't eat the starch/carb that goes with it. I don't replace it. But, I also don't run out and making things I know she won't like, like asian food. If I loved it, I would, but we don't, so we get our fix from the local Thai takeout place...where she will eat Pad Prik Pork. 

    im failing to see the difference in giving a kids snacks when they don't like dinner vs making pasta with butter which requires minimal effort. Aren't you kind of catering either way?  

    Well to be honest there is more nutrition an an apple and cheese stick than past with butter. I also don't see how you can't see that an apple requires grabbing something from the fridge while pasta involves cooking. 
    Mom to Emma 9/4/06 and Jackson 11/24/08 M/C Dec 11 and M/C twins feb 2012. BFP Thanksgiving! EDD Aug 4, 2013 M/C at 5 weeks.
  • image Andrewsgal:
    image KC_13:
    image KateMW:

    image amy052006:
    This was my beef with that post yesterday. We like pork. DS1 apparently does not. We have offered and offered and he has tried multiple times. So he gets sides and then anything easy he asks for cheese stick, crackers, a banana. Whatever.

    But that's not a full meal you are fixing for him. I'm talking about people making fish for them and then pasta with butter for kids. That's crazy to me.

    DD likes all the things I cook, at least the protein part, I don't mind if she doesn't eat the starch/carb that goes with it. I don't replace it. But, I also don't run out and making things I know she won't like, like asian food. If I loved it, I would, but we don't, so we get our fix from the local Thai takeout place...where she will eat Pad Prik Pork. 

    im failing to see the difference in giving a kids snacks when they don't like dinner vs making pasta with butter which requires minimal effort. Aren't you kind of catering either way?  

    Well to be honest there is more nutrition an an apple and cheese stick than past with butter. I also don't see how you can't see that an apple requires grabbing something from the fridge while pasta involves cooking. 

    well i see there's more cooking involved but I don't really get what the difference is in the eyes of the child. Either way they get something desirable out of not eating dinner. 

    Personally, I'd rather my kids eat turkey meatloaf when they dont like/cant eat dinner that is nutritionally balanced with fat, protein and vegetables than just a cheese stick. It's pretty quick and painless to warm a frozen slice up. I'm just not sure why making real food is crazy but snacks for dinner are nbd. 

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  • this hasn't happened in our house, i have to cook special for DS1 anyway because he struggles to eat, physically.  He can't chew a lot of foods etc

     

    Growing up it was dinner or peanut butter sandwich.  That was it.  No jelly even.  My mom always said peanut butter had great fat and protein and bread was some carbs.  It didn't matter if we didn't like it, then we could have a pb sandwich.  And my mom made A LOT of food I hated because my Dad loved them.  I ate  alot of peanut butter growing up. 

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  • DD got picky about her food around 3, but it was the worst around age 4.  That was when we taught her to make her own food.  I only prepare one meal.  I will help her make something different if she absolutely doesn't like it, and has tried a bite.  I always fill her plate with fruits and veggies, so I know she is getting food, but if she doesn't eat the main dish, that is not my problem.  At this point, I tell her "I am making salmon tonight," and she will make her own main dish, and then while I am preparing DS's plate, I will give her the sides I prepared to go with the item she won't eat.  There are only 5 things DD will absolutely not eat - salmon, shrimp, brussel sprouts, mushrooms, and anything spicy.  We occasionally have battles over other foods - like tomatoes, but it depends on the dish.

    If I know she will be spending time with my parents during the week, I sometimes wait until my parents take her for the night before making dishes I know she won't like. 

    DS is 2, and eats almost anything, so, I don't have many issues with him.  If he leaves something on his plate, I know the next meal he will eat like a little piggy, but he definately doesn't go hungry. 

    imageimage
  • I always include one or two things that I know he likes. If we're having something totally unfamiliar and he tries it, I'll let him have an alternative, but usually it's something like yogurt or PB toast that I don't have to cook.

    But he gets an after dinner snack whether or not he eats dinner, so he usually doesn't go to bed hungry.

    image


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  • Rink08Rink08
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    There's always something in the meal that the kids do like. I won't make a seperate main course unless it is due to allergies but try to make it as little extra work as possible. For example, last week I made a teriyaki chicken stirfry for our main dish but since DS1 and DS3 have soy allergies I cooked their chicken seperate and made it in coconut oil instead and put aside their vegetables before mixing any sauce into the big pan.

    If they are just refusing the main meal, they can either just eat whatever else is on the table or wait until their "bedtime snack" which is usually cereal or oatmeal.
  • So far there is only one thing dd1 doesn't legitimately like. So, no I don't give if to her. It's not a main meal, if it was, I'd cook her something else or eat if after she went to bed. Dd2 is too young to really communicate a dislike at this point. Trying something once isn't enough to know if they don't like it at all or if they just don't want it that night. I wouldn't purposefully make things they dislike. It helps that dinner is their smallest meal, so I doubt they ever go to bed hungry. Dd2 is still young, if she was acting really hungry but wouldn't eat dinner, I'd consider some hummus or cheese or pb. That hasn't happened in months.

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  • I play it by ear.  I never cook two different dinners, whether immediately or after the fact, but if DS gave everything an honest try but just didn't eat enough for my liking, sometimes I will offer a little something else at the table as we're finishing up, like a bowl of applesauce, some cheese etc.  This probably happens a few times a month, so it's not like he's taking advantage and knowing he'll get something else if he doesn't eat dinner. He doesn't ask for anything else, either.  I do it because it makes me feel better.

    IMO only you know your child's eating habits and are the best judge of when to give or not give something else, and what. 

    ETA:  It would be an extreme case where I'd ever actually let my child go to bed hungry.  I guess he'd have to really be refusing and manipulating to the max. I know some kids do. I haven't been in that situation with his eating. Thankfully if he doesn't eat dinner well, I can always get something in him before bed without it being a "giving in to his demands" type thing since, like I said, he doesn't even ask for anything else.


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  • DD is only 5 months old, but I do remember what my parent's did.

    They gave me whatever they were eating and if I didn't like it...they would basically force me to eat it or tell me I wasn't get any dessert. So what I did was mash the meatloaf or whatever I didn't like to make it look like I did eat some of it. Or I would put it in a napkin and then act like I needed to use the restroom. I would then flush it down the toilet..... hide the offending vegetable in the glass of milk? Yep, I did that too.

    I specifically told my mom that I hated meatloaf and shepherd's pie about a million times. Yet she still made it and forced me to eat the nastiness.

    I would just eat what I did like and that was about it. I wasn't starving or anything. I have no idea what I will do when my DD gets older. I probably won't continue to make her something she hates if its going to turn into a problem, but I don't see myself cooking different meals. Probably just let her eat the sides and maybe give chicken fingers... I don't know. I don't really care what others decide to do though.

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