Two Under 2

Adjusting? - long

DS is 20 months, and DD is 2 weeks old. Since we brought her home, DS has been very active and obviously acting out for attention. However, it seems to have gotten progressively worst as the days went on. DH and I worked very hard to raise a very disciplined and loving child. Yet, everything we've taught him has gone completely out the window this last week. He hits, bits, throws things and just flat out has stopped listening. We are constantly telling him no, and putting him in his crib for time out. I feel like no matter how much attention he gets, he's still unhappy. I have tried spending plenty of one on one time with him but he just refuses to cooperate. The other day I sat down to play with his blocks with him and instead of playing with them he threw them at me and then started screaming! I am at a loss, and feeling really frustrated. I know some of it is the adjustment to the baby, and some of it is just him being a baby himself but I feel like i'm fighting an up hill battle. DH is working while I am on disability and I am home with the two of them alone. It is so exhausting dealing with a newborn and a child that I have to fight with for 12 hours.

Does anyone have any advice on how to make things easier? If you experienced anything similar, how long did it last?

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker

Re: Adjusting? - long

  • kagl08kagl08
    5000 Comments 250 Answers Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member

    I'd cut your DS some slack... it's a rough adjustment. My DD was 13.5 months when her brother was born and we still had a good 6 weeks of adjusting with her. We raise our kids the same way, they are disciplined and loved and some call us strict. When my DD was going through her adjustment we just tried to keep the structure the same and let her work through it. Unfortunately I'm not sure there is much you can do (that you aren't already doing) other than let it run it's course. 2 weeks is not a long time, but I also understand when you are living it, it feels like forever. 

    Also, I know you didn't ask, but have you considered doing time outs somewhere besides his crib? I have always tried to make my kids' bed their "safe" spot, not their punishment spot. We do timeouts on the stairs. Just a thought. And (((hugs))) it's does get better, it just takes some time.  


  • Thank you for the response. I know I sound like a lunitic thinking that 2 weeks was long enough, I guess I'm just looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.

    And you're right, it is an adjustment and I should allow more time, It's just rough as you know.

    I have thought about doing time outs some where other then his crib, but it's difficult since we live in an apartment so there's not a lot of room and DS is very stubborn and honary so I feel like placing him in a chair or corner is just going to result in me forcably keeping him in that place. Generally I take advantage of his time out and try and load the dishwasher or the washer while he's in there.

    Thank you for the words of encouragment though, I will continue to take deep breaths and we will make it through!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • kagl08kagl08
    5000 Comments 250 Answers Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    member
    image gtognietti:

    Thank you for the response. I know I sound like a lunitic thinking that 2 weeks was long enough, I guess I'm just looking for that light at the end of the tunnel.

    And you're right, it is an adjustment and I should allow more time, It's just rough as you know.

    I have thought about doing time outs some where other then his crib, but it's difficult since we live in an apartment so there's not a lot of room and DS is very stubborn and honary so I feel like placing him in a chair or corner is just going to result in me forcably keeping him in that place. Generally I take advantage of his time out and try and load the dishwasher or the washer while he's in there.

    Thank you for the words of encouragment though, I will continue to take deep breaths and we will make it through!

    It's a rough time for sure and right now you are in survival mode. Do what you have to do to get through it. It does get better and soon your sweet boy will be back to normal. I promise! It just takes some time, and it's hard when you're waiting for it to happen.

    As for the time outs, I feel like making them sit in a chair or something similar is a big part of the time out. It teaches them to respect that you asked to sit in time out and they learn that it is an actual punishment because they have to sit there. It took a good week with each of my kids to teach them they had to sit, and yes... they got up a million and 1 times and a 1 minute time out lasted 5 or more between all the putting them back in time outs. It was literally like breaking a horse, but it's worth it now. They sit and they respect it and then they are new kids after time out. Just sharing my experience with time outs.

    And there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It gets better... it's just a hard time right now.  


This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards