February 2013 Moms

XP moms with toddlers: Discipline

The Aprill 11 community is a little slow, so I want to ask here too since a lot of you have toddlers/older kids

 

 

How do you do it? 

Nate is... feisty? Who am I kidding. He's a classic toddler boy. He wants things, and whatever it is should have been here 10 minutes ago.

He is getting way better at talking, but when he was little he used to scream when he wanted something. We taught him some sign language and that really helped. He would say please and more instead of yelling.

But suddenly he has gone right back to the yelling.  He is incredibly possessive and disinclined to listen when told no. I understand that it's normal for them to try to push the boundaries, but how do we work to push back? 

I am pretty pro-AP, but if I'm being honest I need something a little more... structured. This free-range toddler thing is getting to me. 

 

Advice?  



"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'"
~Mary Anne Radmacher


Feb 2013 August Sig Challenge: Man/Lady Crush: 

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Zachary Levi

Re: XP moms with toddlers: Discipline

  • Dd is really hard to discipline.  She just doesn't care.  She thinks time outs are funny, I tried a sticker chart to reward good behavior, amongst other things.  Currently, what works best is threatening to take away toys.   That usually works.  If it doesn't, the toy goes on top of the fridge for the res tod the day.    But sh doesn't care if I take certain thing, or has a meltdown if I take others.  It was hard to find the right things to take away.  
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers m/c Harrison 2/6/12 @ 14weeks
  • My DD has been sooooooooo difficult since DS arrived and she will be 3 next month. We do time outs (2-3 mins at a time) then we have a talk and I ask her to apologize if need be and tell me why she was in time out and ask how she could have acted/done something different to make a good choice. If that doesn't work, toys are taken away for the day. We go right down the list with favorite toys taken first. Sometimes this works, sometimes not. Next, she loses her TV show privileges for the day. If all that doesn't work, we go with "it makes mommy and daddy sad when you yell/scream/throw/hit/kick" and 90% of the time, this does the trick. I hate using guilt to get her to stop doing something, but its my absolute last resort when I'm at my wits end.
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  • All of my kids went through a stage like that and eventually it passes.  I've tried different things with each of them - with one ignoring the yelling helped, because he soon realized doing it wouldn't get him what he wanted.  With DD1 ignoring it doesn't work because she just gets louder. 

    DS2 was our most challenging toddler.  He spent the majority of his life between the ages of 2-3 in timeout.  I found that the 1-2-3 Magic method worked best for him.  We found the DVD at the library and it worked well. 

    I think the key to disciplining toddlers is consistency and getting down on their level to talk to them.  Also, the less words the better.  I found that with DS2 I was spending too much time explaining my expectations and let's face it, he was zoning out two seconds into the spiel.  All they need is a firm NO to understand that what they are doing is unacceptable.  Give them the three warnings (1-2-3) and then be consistent with the punishment they receive after 3.  Eventually with DS2 it got to the point that all I had to do was say "That's 1" and he would stop.

    Every kid is entirely different though.  DD1 laughs in the face of all punishment (she asked to lick the soap again when we were trying that method to get her to stop saying poopyhead every ten seconds), so I'm trying more attention with her to encourage better behavior.

        
  • image adamwife:
    All of my kids went through a stage like that and eventually it passes.nbsp; I've tried different things with each of them with one ignoring the yelling helped, because he soon realized doing it wouldn't get him what he wanted.nbsp; With DD1 ignoring it doesn't work because she just gets louder.nbsp; DS2 was our most challenging toddler.nbsp; He spent the majority of his life between the ages of 23 in timeout.nbsp; I found that the 123 Magic method worked best for him.nbsp; We found the DVD at the library and it worked well.nbsp; I think the key to disciplining toddlers is consistency and getting down on their level to talk to them.nbsp; Also, the less words the better.nbsp; I found that with DS2 I was spending too much time explaining my expectations and let's face it, he was zoning out two seconds into the spiel.nbsp; All they need is a firm NO to understand that what they are doing is unacceptable.nbsp; Give them the three warnings 123 and then be consistent with the punishment they receive after 3.nbsp; Eventually with DS2 it got to the point that all I had to do was say "That's 1" and he would stop.Every kid is entirely different though.nbsp; DD1 laughs in the face of all punishment she asked to lick the soap again when we were trying that method to get her to stop saying poopyhead every ten seconds, so I'm trying more attention with her to encourage better behavior.


    I think our daughters are the same kid. Did keeps telling us " mack my butt" when she gets in trouble, she has never been spanked so I am not quite sure where she got it from.
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers m/c Harrison 2/6/12 @ 14weeks
  • 101Mims101Mims
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary
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    Sorry - no advice here DS is our first, but just wanted you to know that we are going thru something similar.

    Our boy is big, and heavy! and not talking yet so we have lots of tantrums where he gets quite physical and throws himself about, espeically if he can?t have something. the ipad and our mobiles being the main causes of meltdowns.

    He?s really into throwing things and, having forgotten all about screaming till the baby came along, he?s picked it up again from Delilah. So we get big messy screaming, throwing, rolling about and stamping fits. Funnily  enough, usually only when daddy comes home, but Im guessing that?s cz DS is a real daddy?s boy and wants his attention 100% of the time.

    We dont have a system of dealing with them yet , we are kinda winging it. Obviously we tell him to be gentle around the baby and I often have to remove her if he?s freaking out near her. I guess we are just trying the non-confrontational approach by removing his triggers and making sure he has no heavy toys to hand that can cause hurt and or damage.

    But there are times he gets himself so worked up that he doesn?t even hear what we are saying, and in those instances I just remind myself that he?s lost it and needs a calm, gentle but firm tone. I often get down on the floor with him and repeat, like a kind of calming mantra, " it?s ok, dont worry, mummy loves you." It helps me keep my head too! and more often than not he will come for a cuddle despite bawling his eyes out. Ive always stroked his head as a calming trigger, from when he was a little baby, and luckily it still works when he?s frantic, so I do that too.Then once the storm has passed he goes happily on his way, till the next time!

     

     

     

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