February 2013 Moms

How much time do you spend with LO?

DH made a comment that I spend an excessive amount of time with DS.  I don't think that's right, or fair for that matter.  I'm on mat. leave, so my day job is to look after DS.  Other than that, I don't really have too many places to go.  DH and I have gone out twice, I've left DS with DH a few times; I don't feel the need to leave DS with someone for no reason.  It's not like I'm turning down invites to stay home with him.

i might be more apt to want dates with DH, but my i have little interest in being intimate with him; plus he wants us to leave with his dad and step mom and I'm just not confident in their ability. Not to mention that DS is EBF, and I don't like him having to take bottles, so I can usually only leave him a couple hours at a time.

 Tell me I'm not super crazy....

*** DS born February 21, 2013 - Toronto, Canada  ***
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Re: How much time do you spend with LO?

  • I might be in the minority but I don't think it is possible to spend "too much" time with your kid. BUT my situation is different and when I did have an SO I tried to make sure I spent time with him too...even when I didn't feel like it. Maybe your H feels like he doesn't get enough of your attention.
  • I'm with DS literally 24/7. Though unlike you, it's more by circumstance than by choice. We have no family around for many miles, and those are pretty much the only ones at this point I would want watching him for extended periods. His legal guardian lives near us, but I hate always asking her, because she's single and has a life of her own. My husband has a pretty wonky work schedule, so he's really only available to help on weekends Even then I do pretty much all the care.

    You're not crazy. It's natural to want to be the one caring for your own child. But I think it's also natural to want a break from time to time. If you don't, that's great! But coming from someone who gets very little time with her DH, if you can grab some alone time with him, I'd capitalize on it. One of the hardest adjustments for us was the lack of time and my lack of energy that we have for our marriage since DS has come. It's something I think we really need to start prioritizing or we are going to start living separate lives in the same house. I hate the idea of that.

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  • CougFanCougFan
    100 Comments First Anniversary
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    They are infants for such a short period of time...their parents are likely the only ones they want to be with, so what is the problem? LO is my third and last and I am with her almost all the time. I hats pumping so I only leave for an hour or so. We have tons of family to leave her with but we don't because before you know it she is all grown up!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • The EBF thing would be my biggest hang-up, and for that reason alone I don't think you're crazy. ;-)

    Seriously though, I'm back at work part-time, and pumping 3 days a week is a pain in the butt.  It's just sooooo much easier to pop out a boob.  There's nothing to store or clean and it's so much faster.  Quite frankly, I prefer not to leave DD for long periods of time for the simple fact that I am lazy and don't want to pump if I don't absolutely have to! 

    image
  • I'm with DD 24/7 too. I EBF. I believe that ideally baby wants to be with mom 24/7 anyways. It sounds to me that your DH is either trying to get your attention or being pressured for babysitting privileges by his dad or more likely both.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm in the same boat as you.. in the last 3 months, I've been away from DD for a total of eight to nine hours AT MOST. And only one of those hours was by myself. This is really going to change on Monday when I start back to work..
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image SidraJedi:
    I'm with DD 24/7 too. I EBF. I believe that ideally baby wants to be with mom 24/7 anyways. It sounds to me that your DH is either trying to get your attention or being pressured for babysitting privileges by his dad or more likely both.

    I totally agree.
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    Lilypie - (kxiS)
    Lilypie - (BG2d)
  • image Teacher Clark:
    image SidraJedi:
    I'm with DD 24/7 too. I EBF. I believe that ideally baby wants to be with mom 24/7 anyways. It sounds to me that your DH is either trying to get your attention or being pressured for babysitting privileges by his dad or more likely both.

    I totally agree.

    Me, too. And I'm also with LO 24/7. He never gets a break from mommy. Poor kid Wink 

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • ohlordyohlordy
    250 Answers 500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its
    member

    Yeah sister, you're crazy alright ... crazy about that baby of yours! I have spent every single day with DD since birth and have only been away from her for maybe an hour, tops. I've had a few offers from friends and family to watch her, but I have no reason to be away from her now.

    I agree with PPers; they're only infants for so long and they only really need to be around mom and dad. 

    But for reals, you're not crazy. It's normal for some mommas to want breaks, and it's normal for some mommas to never want to be away from their LO! They change so much and this is time you'll never get back,  

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I have a lipase issue and we EBF, so pumping and building a stock doesn't really work for us. I have gone out 2 times since LO was born with friends, and both times I've gotten panicky calls from DH that the milk is about to run out. I have come home to a sleeping baby each time. I would LOVE to be out longer, but it is important to me that LO is EBF and it is such a short time in life, that it is not worth it for me to do otherwise. 
    LO born Feb 2010 m/mc 03.25.12 @ 11 weeks measured 8 Pgal/Pal always welcome
  • image Puck1182:
    The EBF thing would be my biggest hangup, and for that reason alone I don't think you're crazy. ;Seriously though, I'm back at work parttime, and pumping 3 days a week is a pain in the butt.nbsp; It's just sooooo much easier to pop out a boob.nbsp; There's nothing to store or clean and it's so much faster.nbsp; Quite frankly, I prefer not to leave DD for long periods of time for the simple fact that I am lazy and don't want to pump if I don't absolutely have to!nbsp;

    I agree. Since I am working 3 days, on my days off and weekends I want to be there to feed my LO and spend time with her. We do have our second date night planned for this Saturday, but I'm not looking forward to having to pump before and after and then getting engorged during, since we are going to a bar to watch a band play. And I'm sad that I won't be home to put LO to bed. However, our marriage needs some attention too so it will be good for us.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Married the love of my life July 2010! TTC since Dec 2011.
    BFP #1: 1/20/12; missed m/c 2/17/12; d&c 3/2/12
    BFP #2: 6/1/12; EDD 2/12/13, DD born 1/5/13 at 34w 5d!
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  • My EBF are literally attached to me for the first year of life. My baby is only out of my sight twice a week for a few hours so I can run into work really quickly, but the rest of the week she is right next to me, even during my time with DH.
    DS1 - 8/07  DS2 - 1/09  DD1 - 3/11  DD2 - 2/13
  • image SidraJedi:
    I'm with DD 24/7 too. I EBF. I believe that ideally baby wants to be with mom 24/7 anyways. It sounds to me that your DH is either trying to get your attention or being pressured for babysitting privileges by his dad or more likely both.

    I second this.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I think it's completely natural to want to be with your baby constantly. He needs you. You (your boobs) need him. We're built to be with our babies! 

    I have to leave my baby for a couple hours here and there for work, and I can't stand that time. The only time I'm totally fine leaving him is after he goes to bed and I know he won't wake up for 6-8 hours. That's date time, girls' nights, or whatever. :) 

  • SagenSagen
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    I have spent at the most an hour away. Usually it is when I want to run to the store really fast and he is asleep. Dh is totally fine taking the baby on dates, we get a sitter for the other kids. Usually I don't have someone babysit the our babies till after one. So I spend a lot of time with the baby!
     
    Mom to 4 cute kids! 9 yo girl 7 yo boy 5 yo boy and new baby boy!
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