TTC After a Loss

9 weeks pregnant and no baby in sac!!

i had my first ultrasound today and there is no baby in the amniotic sac. doctors dont know why and im frazzled and depressed right now. plus i broke the rule and told friends at 8 weeks instead of waiting. has this happened to any of you? plus how do i tell friends without having to talk about over and over again.

 

bummed!!

Re: 9 weeks pregnant and no baby in sac!!

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Sadly, your experience is very similar to many of us here. Often, there is no answer, particularly for an early loss. In terms of "untelling" people, you might choose one person in each circle you told about the pregnancy to tell others privately for you so that you don't have to keep reliving it.

    When you're ready, please take a moment to read our blog (link in page header). I'd also recommend posting an intro on the miscarriage/loss board where you'll find many women experiencing the same emotions you are right now.

     


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  • Yes it happened to me with my first loss. It was devastating. We only told our parents and a few close friends about my pg so I didn't have that many to tell my sad news to. 

    Tell a close frend and ask them to inform those who you may have told if your unable to do it yourself (but to be fair this is why they recommend waiting or the 12 week mark before announcing). 

    Sorry for your loss.  

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  • So sorry for your loss. 

    This was me 3 months ago. I was 8 weeks along and went in for my ultra sound and found the empty sac. It was heartbreaking and so confusing. There is nothing you did wrong and you have to keep reminding yourself that.

    Please Please Please, take care of yourself, rest, CRY, heal!

    I had not told many people, but of course my office found out as I was out of work for a week with my D&C. In my opinion, it was easier for me to be around the people that knew so they knew why I was crying or not "myself". GL and I agree with what others have said, post in the miscarriage/loss page as well :) 

    Started TTC January 2012
    BFP #1 1/26/13; EDD 10/5/13; MMC and D&C 2/26/13. 
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  • SerenlaSerenla
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    I'm sorry for your loss ::hugs:: I told a lot of my friends and while it was hard to let everyone know that we lost the baby they were very supportive and helpful.



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  • I'm so sorry. It sounds like you've had a blighted ovum. (((hugs)))

    Rosie gave you great advice about dealing with untelling the news, and I also recommend the blog. It's a great read when you're figuring all of this out. I hope that you'll find the support you need here.

  • jasoshojasosho
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    thanks madison..

    i knew the rule but broke it anyway because i was soo excited. this is my second preg. i have 15 month old.

  • Sounds like a blighted Ovum to me. And many TTCAL'ers have unfortunately experienced them. Myself being one of them. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    I only told a few people in my family, but that was hard enough. The other posters had great ideas. Another one is to send out an email with the news. A friend of mine did that.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    TTC #1 since June 2012
    Current Status:  IUI #1  Femara + Trigger
    Genetic, RPL, SA and Fertility testing = Normal/Good
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    BFP #2 09.10.2013  ||  c/p 09.12.2013

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  • image jasosho:

    thanks madison..

    i knew the rule but broke it anyway because i was soo excited. this is my second preg. i have 15 month old.

    i broke it too. You get so excited and never think that it will happen to you. Your bursting to tell and unfortunately sometimes it has to be followed up with sad news.  

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  • image LaurenAsh23:
    So sorry for your loss.nbsp;This was me 3 months ago. I was 8 weeks along and went in for my ultra sound and found the empty sac. It was heartbreaking and so confusing. There is nothing you did wrong and you have to keep reminding yourself that.Please Please Please, take care of yourself, rest, CRY, heal! I had not told many people, but of course my office found out as I was out of work for a week with my Damp;C. In my opinion, it was easier for me to be around the people that knew so they knew why I was crying or not "myself". GL and I agree with what others have said, post in the miscarriage/loss page as well :nbsp;


    All of this. I was also 8 weeks when I went in to hear the heartbeat but was diagnosed with a blighted ovum [empty sac]. The emotional roller coaster is tremendously painful, but it gets easier with time.

    I also recommend having key people "untell" for you. We had only told our parents and his siblings, and it was hard to even have to tell all of them.
    TTC #1 as of Feb. 2013
    BFP on Mar. 4, 2013, DX with MMC (blighted ovum) at 8 weeks, D&C
    TTC again as of May 2013
    BFP on June 24, 2013, EED March 12, 2014
    Diagnosed with endometriosis, PCOS, heterozygous MTHFR and positive for ANA

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  • I am sorry for your loss. And as for the "rule" about not telling...telling or not telling doesn't change the outcome of a pregnancy. As my DH and I found out things can go wrong at any point, we were well past twelve weeks when we lost our daughter at 20w4d. Learning you're pregnant is exciting and is news you want to share. If you dont have a history of loss there is no reason to think this pregnancy would have been any different than your first one.The untelling is the hardest. My best friend spread the news for me so most people knew without me having to be the one to say it. Again I am sorry for your loss. As others stated post on the miscarriage board, those women are an amazing support as well as those here.
    Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.

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  • I'm sorry for your loss. I totally understand getting excited and wanting to share with family. I thought the rule was "old fashioned" while I made it past that "scary point," I totally get waiting to announce now. I'm sorry for what you are going through. Welcome. I too recommend you read the blog. it has so much great info packed into one spot. It is super helpful 

     

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I broke the rule with my last pregnancy too, and it sucks. I agree with Rosie's advice about designating someone in your social spheres to give the news. DH did a lot of the telling for us because I was a mess.

    Big ((HUGS)). I'm so sorry you're going through this. 

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  • jap618jap618
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    image LaurenAsh23:

    So sorry for your loss. 

    This was me 3 months ago. I was 8 weeks along and went in for my ultra sound and found the empty sac. It was heartbreaking and so confusing. There is nothing you did wrong and you have to keep reminding yourself that.

    Please Please Please, take care of yourself, rest, CRY, heal!

    I had not told many people, but of course my office found out as I was out of work for a week with my D&C. In my opinion, it was easier for me to be around the people that knew so they knew why I was crying or not "myself". GL and I agree with what others have said, post in the miscarriage/loss page as well :) 

    All of this.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  This was me last August.  I had one spot of blood and some cramps and rushed into the ER.  They did an ultrasound and couldn't find a baby.  I was supposed to be 9w5d.  Welcome to the board.  The miscarriage and loss board might be more helpful right now because everyone there is feeling the same way you are right now.  When you are ready to ttc we are here for you. HUGS!

    Married the love of my life <3 June 18, 2011 <3 Me (28) DH (29)
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    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
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  • Like PP have said, this is the same story as many of us here. I had this happen as well at our 8 week appointment. It was our first, and we had been excited and told our parents, so the un-telling was heartbreaking.

    As far as friends, most knew we were trying, so we felt the need to share the news of our loss in order to avoid the "any news yet?" situations. I have to say, that after some time had passed, I actually found it very therapeutic to talk about it. I found a ton of support, and even learned of friends and family members who had similar experiences. This approach isn't for everyone, I'm just sharing my experience.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Please read the blog, and feel free to start giving/getting support here. These ladies are amazing, and have been a huge support to me. ((hugs)) 

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree that designated news-sharers might be a good thing for you. Hopefully, the people who now know will be there to support you through your grief. I hope we can support you too. ((hugs))
    DH (44) and I (40 Lordy, lordy!) started TTC with hysteroscopy to remove embedded Paraguard IUD (of which a chunk remains) 10/10.
    BFP 9/30/11. EDD 6/22/12. Natural MC at 10 weeks (measured 9w3d) 11/26/11.
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    image jasosho:

    thanks madison..

    i knew the rule but broke it anyway because i was soo excited. this is my second preg. i have 15 month old.

     

    I am in your exact same shoes. I have a 15 month old DD and just miscarried my second pregnancy. We had 3 ultrasounds between 6 & 9 weeks confirming no baby grew. I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome to this community.

    BFP #1, DD: 02/28/2012 | BFP #2, EDD: 12/22/2013 M/MC | BFP #3, EDD: 05/17/2014 CP
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  • I am sorry for your loss. I also told a few people who I am close too and then had to untell. We both called our parents but the few others who knew I texted because I knew I wouldn't be able to speak at the moment.

    As for a rule about sharing I think you just have to go with what you feel is right. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the news from close friends and family so I shared. I also know that they are the same group of people who support me when things go wrong too.

    **BFP#1 9/5/12   EDD 5/15/13  changed to 5/25/13 after u/s,  missed mc 10/19/12.  D and C 10/22/12** 
     **BFP#2 9/12/13  EDD 5/16/14 changed to 5/27/14 after u/s, hb 126 on 10/11/13, miscarriage on 10/24.13**
    ~RPL testing results from 12/6/13 show everything normal except elevated prolactin. Blood work is now in the normal range. All AL welcome!
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  • So sorry for this!! *HUGS*

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    BFP#2 7/10/13 - EDD 3/21/14- Eli's Here!!

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  • As pp have mentoned, all of us havve experienced loss in 1 form or another. Sorry for your loss

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  • delatldelatl
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I had an empty sac too at just under 8 weeks. That was in January. We only told family and a few close friends but in the end, I was glad we had told them because they have been able to offer support. I didn't expect to want anyone to know, and I still wouldn't want most people to know, but I would feel even more isolated if my closest family and friends didn't know what we were going through. Take your time sharing and do what you need for yourself during this time.
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  • image car seat:

    I'm so sorry. It sounds like you've had a blighted ovum. (((hugs)))

    Rosie gave you great advice about dealing with untelling the news, and I also recommend the blog. It's a great read when you're figuring all of this out. I hope that you'll find the support you need here.

    All of this. I had a blighted ovum and I was completely devastated. I texted people who knew (quite a few) and in the text I said I was going through a miscarriage and I'd appreciate their thoughts and prayers but I wasn't ready to talk about it.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. 

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
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    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. (((hugs))) 

    Welcome to the board. Check out our blog if you haven't already - it is in the green header on the front page. We are a tight knit community and that really cares about each other. These ladies are wonderful and have given me so much support.

    As for your other question, we had only told our immediate families and two close friends, and DH called the family from the ER to let them know and he was in charge of telling the friends. Poor DH, I kind of threw it all at him. 

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