3rd Trimester

STMs: Arrangements for other kids while in hospital

What are your arrangements for your other kid/s when you'll be in the hospital? 

We've planned for my MIL to take DS for a week (if I end up w/ a c/s I'll be in the hospital 4-5 days anyways (baby is breech), but I'm not sure how I really feel about it.  It's easier for her to take him to her house, and then our house wouldn't end up being a mess once we come home (if they stayed by us it would for sure become a disaster), so I think this is the best course of action.  The plan is for DS to come meet the baby, then they go back to MIL's house until a few days after we come home (she lives about 70 miles away).  I'm just worried about the adjustment of DS to his little sister & coming home to a whole new situation.  But I think it'll be good to give me & Dh a few days home w/ DD also.. 

And now my mom is mad we're not letting her take DS, but I really don't want him around my brother who lives w/ her (long story) - & she is not understanding of this at all = adding a lot more stress to my life than I need right now...  Sad

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Re: STMs: Arrangements for other kids while in hospital

  • We have my parents, my sister and *possibly* DH's sister to help us out when this LO arrives. Our plan is for DD to be with any of them the least amount possible. 

    Whether she stays at our house or my parent's/sister's is up to my parents/sister and DD. If she wants to come hang out at the hospital with me she's more than welcomed to and when she gets bored she'll take off with my parents/sister.

    DH is going to spend the least amount of overnight time at the hospital as possible so he can be home with DD.

    Basically, we want her to feel in control of the situation and deal with the least amount of upheaval as possible.  

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  • kmc217kmc217
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    You should do whatever stresses you out the least and makes the transition easiest for your older LO. 

    My mom will have my girls -- she will likely meet us at the hospital when I go into labor to trade off with them since this is my third and could go fast. They will likely stay at her house because it is closer to the hospital than mine. DH will probably either go home or sleep at my mom's-- the past 2 deliveries he roomed in with us and was really uncomfortable and I was just in the hospital for 4 days and it was really hard for my girls to have me gone and I think having both of us gone would be even harder.

    When I had DD2, DD1 stayed with my parents (my dad has since passed) and DH stayed with me but she was just newly 2 and didn't understand the whole concept of me being gone as much.  

     

    DD1 7/10/08  DD2 8/11/10  DS 7/2/13

  • nycnolanycnola
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    We don't have family in the area, so if I go into labor sometime between now and June 22, we have some neighbor friends who are going to watch DD. DH is supposedly in charge of these plans, so we'll see how this materializes, but we had keys made for them so they could come and go from our house as needed, and DD can spend time at their houses (she's super comfortable with these people), but we did ask them to sleep at our place because I was worried about DD's routine being too mixed up in addition to a new baby ruining her mojo. MIL comes on June 22 and she'll just stay with DD at our house if I don't go into labor, and I'll be augmented/have a section on June 24. It is so stressful thinking about plans for DD. I'm sorry you're going through the stress with your mom, but if it's LESS stressful to not have your DD by your brother you are definitely doing the right thing. Good luck!
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  • My parents will come stay w/ DD at our house. But they're the type to actually be helpful and fill the house with baked goods instead of mess, so that's not a worry for us.

    With DD, we were in the hospital for a solid week and I'm sort of planning on that happening again. If it does, I want DD to be in her own bed as much as possible during the transition. If we do end up with that situation again, my husband will probably go home for at least a few nights to get some rest and take care of DD.

  • Liz4444Liz4444
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    My parents will be with li while we are in the hospital. They live 10 minutes from us and have a crib in their house. They said she can sleep at their house or they will sleep in our house, whatever is easier for us.
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  • DH goes on parental leave from work when I go into labor, he will stay for the delivery then head home. He will be home for 2 weeks.  If I go into labor in the middle of the night we will call MIL to come and watch DS.  Hopefully I will only be in the hospital for 24 hours and then DS will meet LO before we go home.  After he goes back to work then my mom is coming for a week, then my MIL will drop by after that.  We aren't really into having DS away from us after LO is born, better to get him acclimated right away.
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  • We don't have any set plans for this go round.  It all really just depends when he's born but our kids will be staying with either (or both) sets of grandparents.  

    When I had DS2, MIL picked him up at our house before I went to the hospital.  Thn my ILs brought him to see us/DS2 the next morning and brought him to see us again the next day when we went home.  DS2 was born on Tuesday and released from the hospital on Thursday.  DS1 stayed with the ILs until Saturday. This time, I am on bed rest for PTL so it could happen at any time. We are anticipating a very fast labor so whoever is closest at go time will take the kids so I can get to the hospital.  My parents and ILs get along great so they will work out the logistics of who takes them when on their own.

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  • My IL's will take my 2 boys while I'm in the hospital. Last time and the first time, I was only there a day. We had DS come home as soon as we were home, so he was there with us the first night home. It was important to us to do this to make him feel included and make the transition as easy as possible. We also figured we were going to have to figure out how to juggle it all sooner or later, so why put it off. It turned out to be easier than we thought and I'm glad we did it this way. I didn't have a c/s though so things may have been different if I did.

    We "plan" to do the same thing this time as well if things work out but you just never know.
  • I'm having a homebirth. My daughter will be with my BFF during labor/delivery though, just in case things get too loud/scary for her. After delivery (or later that day if it's the middle of the night), she'll come back home.

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  • We hired an on call babysitter to come watch the kids at our house.
    • Adopted DS #1- '05 
    • Adopted DS #2- '07
    • DS born August 1, 2011
    • DD born August 27, 2013

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  • Well, it depends on whether or not I go into natural labor or continue with a ceserean.

     

    The kids will be out of school and attending child care, so if I have her during the day, my parents will pick them up and bring them over to the hospital afterwards. Then, they will spend the night with my parents the first night.

     

    After that, DH will probably be running back and forth between home/child care/hospital for the next couple of days.

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  • My in laws are coming and watching DS during the delivery and then bringing him to meet his baby sister. I want my parents at the hospital with us, in laws are totally fine coming up after. Once we are situated, my parents will take DS over night the first night. DH will go home every night and put DS to bed and go home throughout the day to see him, we're less than 2 miles from the hospital. My parents will stay at our house most likely. I'm having a c section and was in the hospital 5 days with DS so we are planning for the same amount of time.
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  • beebabybeebaby
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    image kmc217:

    You should do whatever stresses you out the least and makes the transition easiest for your older LO. 

    This!  Do whatever you feel most comfortable with, so if MIL's house is it, don't think twice about your mom being upset. 

    We have family on call to stay at our house.  DH will also come home at night to help with dinner, tubs and the nighttime routine and depending on how baby and I are doing at the hospital, he might stay home at night too.

  • My parents are getting here about a week before my due date, so hopefully I won't go before then. That way, they'll just be staying with us, and I've already written out instructions/schedules for them.

    If my parents aren't here yet, we'll probably take DS with us since there is a childcare center at the hospital. I have a couple of friends I can call to come get him and watch him when the childcare center closes for the day.

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  • skioskio
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    My parents will be picking her up when I am in labor and keeping her for 1 to 3 days. If I end up with another c/s, we've decided that H will stay with me two nights, then we want DD back home so she's not thrown off her shitt when we bring the new baby home.

    I'm sure MIL would be willing to stay at our house to help H with DD if need be. I'm not worried.
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  • Step one RELAX, lol it will work out! My hubby's planning on the first night after dilivery staying with me as our daughter will be at home with her 16 year old aunty, after that he plans on being home with her, bringing her to the hospital during the day then MIL for afternoons and picking her up in time for bed time, he's also letting her plan a welcome home party for her baby sister so she feels like the whole mess of travel was a good thing! 
    Manda-lynn
  • We don't have any definite plans yet, it all depends what time of day I go into labor.  My son is at daycare full time so if it's M-F during the work day he'll be at school.  We have a variety of friends "on call" to help out as needed.  I want to keep my son's routine as similar as possible so whomever helps us out will be taking care of our son at our house and since we have two cars with car seats I will leave them one of our cars so they don't have to worry about installing the car seat in their car.  Fingers crossed for a short labor and easy recovery so I'll only need to spend one night in the hospital.  I
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  • It sounds like MIL is the best option, and while you'll be nervous, I'd encourage you to accept that help to concentrate fully on new baby and recovery. It's going to be an adjustment for your DS either way, and you cannot keep him from this new change even if that means him coming all day to the hospital. That is not ideal. Trust your MIL to create normal days for him, with normal meals and bedtimes, and know that as the weeks pass, everyone will adjust just fine.  You will miss him to be sure, but you also need to work through that and adjust, and let him have normal days with MIL as he can. And he'll miss you, but he'll be taken care of.

    Type out his daily schedule, food lists, activities he loves, etc. If he' never stayed there overnight, consider asking MIL if she'd take him for a night this week or next as a practice run. It won't be so new to him when the time for a longer visit comes. 

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  • well, none of our family lives close so my MIL is coming to stay with us starting next week so if I go into labor, she's here to stay with Emma. I already told my husband that I want him to stay home at night so Emma has some normal time with him., although I will miss him at the hospital
  • image A37licia:

    If he' never stayed there overnight, consider asking MIL if she'd take him for a night this week or next as a practice run. It won't be so new to him when the time for a longer visit comes. 

    DS has stayed by MIL several times, including this past weekend for 3 nights, so he's used to it - it's nothing new to him which is good.

    Thanks for all the input!  Since I'll most likely be having another c/s it will probably be good to have a few extra days to ourselves at home before DS comes back..  I'm just getting nervous - time is ticking now....!!!

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  • Right now the plan is for DD to stay at our house with my dad. My mom (my parents are not together) and my aunt want to be there for the birth. DH of course will be with me during L&D, but as soon as we move to recovery, DH is going home to DD. I plan to leave the hospital as soon as they will release us (hopefully only after 24 hours).

    But my dad brought up renting a hotel room by the hospital, so DD is close by. We live 30-45 min from the hospital. I am leaning towards them staying at our house, and he is fine with whatever I am most comfortable with.

    If something goes wrong in L&D, or for some other reason I need DH with me, then we will re-evaluate at that time.

     You need to do what you are comfortable with. If you are not comfortable with your child staying with your mom, then your mom will have to get over it. I do not know how comfortable you are with this idea, but can you have her with you at the hospital so she feels "needed"?

     

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  • I knew I was going to have a c/s on my EDD last time so my mom took DS1 the night before and he stayed with her for 4 nights. She lives in the same town as us so he came to visit at least twice and meet his new brother. She brought him to the hospital when I was getting discharged and he came home with us and the new baby as a family.

    I think we'll do the same thing this time, but probably have her take our car with all the car seats installed so we don't have to switch out all 3 when I'm being discharged.

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  • We have no family in town either, so DD is going to be over with my good friend and neighbor during my labor (which will hopefully be quick--it was only 7 hours with her), and DH will come back to be with her as soon as we both feel comfortable with his leaving.  My friend has a little girl the same age as DD (almost 2), so hopefully they will have fun together and she won't even realize anything is amiss at first .  If it's the middle of the night, I have a different friend and neighbor (without kids at home) who is like a mother to me, and she'll come over so that I don't have to wake DD.  

    Then my mother will come in, so for the next few days at the hospital DH can have the freedom to come visit when he wants to, but he'll still be able to be home with DD when she needs him.

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