Stay at Home Moms

S/o leaving your kids...

I know there are many different opinions/theories about leaving your kids but what about your kids going somewhere without you?

Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you?

Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you?

is this something you'd be comfortable with? 

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Re: S/o leaving your kids...

  • My H just took our boys camping with him and his friends 2 weeks ago.  I never worry about him taking the kids somewhere because he is a great dad and can probably handle them better on his own than I can (plus they behave better for him than me). 

    H's whole extended family (aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents) is going to Disneyland in July.  We were supposed to go but the trip is 2 weeks before my EDD so H and I will not be going on the trip.  My ILs asked if they could still take the boys without us and we agreed so they will be gone for a whole week without us,  TBH, this sounds like Heaven on earth! I will either have a newborn or be hugely pregnant so it will be awesome to have some time to myself and not have to worry about the kids. 

    MIL also tries to do a shorter weekend getaway with all their grand kids every summer so this will continue to be a yearly thing. I love that she has this tradition and gives her kids/DIL/SIL a break! 

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  • Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you? No. Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you? No is this something you'd be comfortable with?nbsp; I'd be fine with DH taking them anywhere. My parents will probably take dd1 to their summer place this year for the first time, which is fine.

    I've taken them overnight to my parents or to said summer place many times. This summer I'll actually be down the shore with them with dh's family without him.

    Eta: I forgot that DH flew ahead of me to San Francisco with dd. so he did a 6 hour flight and 2 days there before I arrived.
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    E 9.08, V 8.11, J 4.14
  • No one's ever offered... She's just beginning to get to the stage now that she'll go to sleep without me there. So at this point, if I wasn't there AND it was a new sleeping environment, I'm 95% sure it wouldn't go well. The older DD gets, the more I'd love comfortable I think we'll both be with it.

     


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  • I've taken my DS out of state without DH. We had an unexpected death in the family and it would've been difficult for DH to take off work last minute so only DS and I went (well, that and booking 2 days before we flew our tickets were ridiculous).

    We also have flown home on different days from vacation when he couldn't be gone as long as I wanted to be at my sister's.

    In October I'm flying out of state with just DD to go wedding/BM dress shopping with my sister.

    At Christmas DH took DS up to the mountains to his family's Christmas gathering without me because I was on bed rest but I didn't want DS to miss out.

    I would never go on a full vacation without DH or vice versa, but certain things make sense for not all of us to go.

    ETA: I wouldn't let anyone other than DH and I take them out of town right now. We can revisit when we're older, but right now I can't think of anyone I'm comfortable with having my kids out of town without me. And I can't think of a reason for them to go without me and/or DH.


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  • DH or anyone has not stayed overnight with our kids anywhere.  DH struggles to take the girls out alone, period.

    I totally thought about, "What would the SAHM board do?" today as I walked to get my neighbors to get their paper this morning.  Across the street, 2 houses down while my kids were brushing their teeth.


  • image Arnegard:

    DH or anyone has not stayed overnight with our kids anywhere.  DH struggles to take the girls out alone, period.

    I totally thought about, "What would the SAHM board do?" today as I walked to get my neighbors to get their paper this morning.  Across the street, 2 houses down while my kids were brushing their teeth.

    Obviously we would have called CPS, you neglectful mom!


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  • Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you?  No, he wouldn't probably feel comfortable taking the kids on his own overnight somewhere.  I wouldn't have any problem with it though.  Smile  The opportunity has never arisen. 

     Now, I have traveled quite a few times with the kids without DH.  Every time he travels for a long period of time for work the kids and I travel to visit family.  We are gone any where from 1 week to 3 months. 

    Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you?  Not overnight, but our neighbors have taken DD shopping and to the park.  My parents have taken DD and DS on a couple of hour trips to run errands.  I wouldn't have any problem with my kids going anywhere with family members or close friends. 

     

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  • DH? Hmm.... Maybe. I think he might have stayed at his parents' overnight with the boys when I was away, but I can't remember. It may have just been a day trip. Wouldn't bother me at all.

    My parents have taken DS1 overnight multiple times to their lake house. They'll take DS2 soon. Doesn't bother me. They enjoy 'fun' things like this, but would never babysit so we could go away. Go figure.


    Owen (March 2007), Caleb (July 2009), Eliza (July 2011) and August (September 2013)





  • Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you? Nope. I don't think he's even left the house with both kids by himself before.

    Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you? Not overnight or out of town.

    is this something you'd be comfortable with? No, not yet. When they are older, maybe grade school age, I might be okay with DH or my parents taking them. It would depend on where, how long, etc. I have some control and anxiety issues that I'd have to work on before it could happen.

    I have taken the girls out of state without DH several times for family events - funerals, baby showers, baptisms, graduations. He can't always take time off work for that stuff, so I take the girls and go.


    Mama to two sweet girls
    DD1 Feb 2010
    DD2 Sept 2011


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  • No but it's never come up.
    CJ :-)
  • DH has not taken DS anywhere overnight without me, but I wouldn't be bothered if he did.  He's perfectly competent.  He has done his parental duties without me in our home overnight.

    My mom and ILs have taken DS to various events during the day and some overnights in their homes.  And his sitter took him on some field trips when I was working.

    I don't let him be alone with people I don't trust in general.  And I don't feel like we need to be together every moment to have a good relationship.  On the contrary, I think we function better when we have some time apart.

    Preemie Resources: http://preemiemomblog.blogspot.com/

    DD1: BFP July 2010...HG in first tri, MC delivered vaginally at 18 weeks October 2010

    DS: BFP December 2011...SCH at 5 weeks, SBR at 7 weeks, Placental Abruption at 13 weeks, Hospitalized at 25 weeks, pPROM at 28 weeks, PTL via CS at 31 weeks 

    DD2: BFP January 2013...P17 shots, delivered via VBAC at 39 weeks
  • Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you?  He has been alone in our home with the girls overnight a few times, but hasn't taken them anywhere.  He's perfectly capable of handling them alone.

    Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you?  Yes, the in-laws took DD1 skiing in Vail.

    is this something you'd be comfortable with?  I'm not sure that I would let them take either girl again until they are older.  I'm not strict about the grandparents following my exact rules, but they didn't give DD her probiotics and fiber gummies and she got so constipated that she threw up.  Idiots.


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  • image kaylajoe:
    I know there are many different opinions/theories about leaving your kids but what about your kids going somewhere without you?Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you? Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you?is this something you'd be comfortable with?nbsp;


    H has taken the kids away without me several times. He is actually planning another long weekend trip in the early fall so I can take the baby to my sister's beach house for the weekend

    We have left the kids with my siblings several times, so I would be ok with them going away without me or H, but only with a select group of family members. But we have never done that
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    DS 3.12.08
    DD 7.11.09
    DD 8.01.13
  • 1. DH has never taken the DD anywhere overnight without me. I wouldn't mind if he did, but the opportunity hasn't really presented itself. I have left DD at home with DH for a weekend.

    2. No. And it probably won't happen for at least a few years. 

    3. I'd be comfortable with DH taking DD somewhere without me. Anyone else, she'd have to be older than she currently is. I'm not sure how old though.

    ETA: Oops. Did I totally misunderstand question 2? Yes, people have taken DD places without me. That's cool. Just not overnight. But a 2 or 3 hours, yea. 

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  • I've left them alone with DH for a couple of girls' weekends. And he took DS#1 with him to the state fair in his home state last year, for two nights.

  • 1. No. It just hasn't come up. If he however gets the chance, he can by all means.

    2. Yeah, my mom will come down and babysit and she'll take LO and do whatever. My inlaws do the same. I'll also drop her off for the weekend at my Mom's just to play a few times a year (She's about 2.5 hours away).

    Neither of these situations bother me really. I do worry a bit but then I remember stuff could happen in my own house on my clock too.

  • image QueSyrah:
    image Arnegard:

    DH or anyone has not stayed overnight with our kids anywhere.  DH struggles to take the girls out alone, period.

    I totally thought about, "What would the SAHM board do?" today as I walked to get my neighbors to get their paper this morning.  Across the street, 2 houses down while my kids were brushing their teeth.

    Obviously we would have called CPS, you neglectful mom!

    Awww...  Sad  I didn't think I was that bad.


  • image cjcouple:
    No but it's never come up.

    This. He could totally do it. I have gone on several girls weekends, and he's been fine on his own. He is also obsessed with cleaning, so I come back to a clean house. Win for me! 

    Mom to Big Sister (2008) , and boy/girl twins (2010) Life is busy!
  • Spin313Spin313
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    Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you?
    No, however DH has had the kids overnight without me while I was hospitalized for surgery.

    Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you?
    Yes, my dad occasionally takes DS roller skating, or takes him out on errands while I take DD to appointments or play group. My mom also picks DS from school once in a while.

    is this something you'd be comfortable with?
    Yes, I am okay with either of my parents taking DS out...neither can take DD because they don't have a car seat for her, but if they did I would be fine with it.
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  • No, its never came up. I'de for sure have no issue with DH taking our kids anywhere overnight. They are his kids to.

    I could see letting MIL take DS to MY SIL's home for a weekend vacation, she as mentioned wanting to take him next time she goes so he could play with his other cousins and I'de be cool with that. But I trust MIL....it would just depend on who and where they were going, etc...
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  • My H has taken my kids to my parents house without me. 

    My parents have had the kids at their house overnight without us, just to visit, and for 2 days when DD was born.  They will have the boys for two days a little later this month just to visit.

    As far as short outings, I would say that people have taken the kids places without me at least 100 times over the last 5 years.  I had no idea this was a thing. 

     Yes.  I am comfortable with it.   

  • jnksmomjnksmom
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    H has not taken the kids anywhere overnight without me but he would. It just hasn't ever been needed or even an opportunity for it. I have taken the kids on trips to see family without H though.

    We lived away from family for 4 years and my kids would stay at parents for a few days at a time. When I was 37w pg with DD my mom came to visit to be with DS when I went into labor. We had moved when I was 30w so we didn't know anyone well enough to keep DS. Something happened and my mom needed to go home for a few days and she took DS with her. It was an 8hr trip. I was completely okay with it 

    My mom took DD to FL to see my sister last fall. They were gone from Wednesday to Sunday. My parents also took DS to FL to Lego Land this spring on his spring break.  They were gone 5 days also. I would trust my parents to take them anywhere. I would trust MIL but she wouldn't do it. DS has spent the night with her once and she lives an hour away. 

    ETA: my kids loved taking a trip with my parents and I think it is great that they get to do that.  

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  • Last summer when I was preggo DH took DS1 to his mom's at the beach. I was completely fine with it. DH had also had DS1 overnight while I was away, and will have them both overnight at various points this summer.

    ETA: my parents take the kids places all the time.
    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • DH and DS1 have gone on short trips together, I'm sure DS2 would go with if he was bigger. I would happily send my kids to my parents' when they are bigger. We have my niece over for sleepovers a lot, but DS1 isn't brave enough to sleep at her house.
    DS1 - Feb 2008

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  • Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you?

    No.  I'd be fine with it though.  He does bedtime most nights.  He's a SAHD as much as I'm a SAHM with our work schedules.  I'm gone 5 overnights a week normally so I wouldn't have any worries about DH and DS being on their own overnight.  And he's taken DS out of town to visit family for the day on his own a few times.

    But at this point DS has never gone anywhere overnight.  He's spent every night of his life at home!

    Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you?

    Nope but once he's in a regular bed I'd be fine with my mom taking him if she wanted to.


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  • herohero
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    image kayla&joe:

    I know there are many different opinions/theories about leaving your kids but what about your kids going somewhere without you?

    Has your DH ever taken your kids somewhere overnight without you?

    Nope. He is in school right now and barely has time to take ds out for the day.

    Has someone other than your DH taken your kids somewhere without you? 

    Yes, Ds has gone places with his grandparents for day trips but never overnight.

    is this something you'd be comfortable with?

    Only if he was with family or friends that we trust.

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  • DH alone hasn't, the opportunity hasn't come out yet but I wouldn't have a problem if he's want to take the kids camping or something. On the other hand I took DS to the ILs beach house for 10 days alone last summer because DH couldn't get out of work (he just came over the last weekend)

    DS has stayed overnight at the ILs lots of times but we usually take him there, just once they came to pick him up Sat morning, went to their beach house for the night and brought him back to out place on Sun afternoon; he also has gone to lots of places w/o me (with my mom, ILs, my sister, DH) for a few hours

    I wouldn't bat an eye to let DS (and later on DD) go somewhere overnight with my ILs, my mom or my sister and her DH 

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  • We've left DD with my dad, my FIL, my parents, and my mil overnight (up to 5 days).  My FIL is taking her for a week later this summer (he lives 4 hours away).  

    This weekend we have a wedding and our neighbor who babysits for us has a party an hour away, so she is going with them to the party. 

    DH has never taken her anywhere overnight without me, but I wouldn't be opposed to it.

    The first time we left her was at 3 months old for 2 days with FIL for our anniversary trip.

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  • DH can take DD wherever he wants, though he hasn't since if he has time off work we're together.

    DD has gone on trips with my parents, DH's dad and sm and my aunts. 

    DH just reminded me that they went to a football game in our college town and spent the night last year. LOL So, my answer is yes. 


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  • H hasn't taken Jack anywhere overnight without me, but mostly because the opportunity hasn't been there. This fall when he goes to his annual "men's weekend" with his brothers and dad, he will bring Jack. I don't have a problem with it at all.

    I've stayed overnight with Jack without H before. A few weeks ago I went to OK for a wedding a shower, and I've done several small overnight trips to see my girlfriends, etc when he was an infant.  

    J 1.15.10 | A 9.15.13

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