FTM Help

I never thought I'd have a planned c/s for my first baby. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and figured I'd go into labor, push him out and commiserate about my lady parts being torn. But I'm over a week late with, what my husband is positive will be a 1st round NFL draft pic, and doctors broke the news that for everyone's safety a c section is best.

So now I have 2 days to mentally and physically prepare for this. I'm more nervous for how family is going to react than how I'm going to feel. My husband, who does not handle stressful situations well, has already shown signs of cracking, my dad is having flashbacks of my mom's botched c section with me 27 years ago. Don't even get me started on my in laws who think I somehow did something wrong to deserve this. Do you ladies have any advice on how to help out family during this time?

Also, what things can I pick up and have at home to make my life easier? I think my supply of premade crotchsickles are useless now but any advice is greatly appreciated. Even like organizing tips, food to cook before hand etc. thanks!

Re: FTM Help

  • My advice is to not worry about your family and focus on yourself and your baby :. Honestly once the baby is here and you are both healthy, family won't care about how he got here. Any easy meals are great ideas, like making and freezing lasagna, speghetti, casseroles, etc.
  • sytomsytom
    500 Comments Third Anniversary

     Don't let others guide how you feel.  I don't mean to sound scary, but it IS a real surgery!  This one will be my third and the best advice I can give you is to take it really slow at home.  Don't overdo it, if you do, you're going to end up twice as tired and even more sore.  

    Also, take your pain meds.  There is no point in not taking them.  If your pain level is bearable, you'll be more likely to stay active (like walking, not cleaning your house!) and have a faster recovery.  It doesn't really make sense, but it's so true!  

    Good luck to you! 

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  • Sorry but if your family cannot support you now then leave them out of your bubble. Once LO arrives there will be a new center of attention.
    "What are you having?" "Well the radiologist says its a healthy little human baby. I'm a little disappointed, because I really wanted a puppy." LOL
  • Rather than re-typing it all out, I'll just AW a blog post I wrote about hints and tips for a c-section.




    Tell your family to eff off. :) 

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    Always missing our first son Caleb, born at 19w3d on 4.12.10.
  • WhitWedWhitWed
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its

    Two years ago I was where you are now. I went in for a weekly appointment and growth scan and my OB made the call we had to have a c-section that week (I had polyhydramnios, DD was over 11 pounds, and her head and right shoulder were stuck in my pelvis thus creating a very strong risk of shoulder dystocia if I tried vaginally).  I had to mentally prepare for this and also tell family. My MIL actually said to me that c-sections were unnecessary and it's survival of the fittest (awesome, huh?).  On the opposite side I had to tell my family whose mother birthed twins vaginally without meds.  I don't know why, but I felt like I failed.  And then after about a day, or two, of pouting and worrying, I realized I could make the experience the best it could be.  And I did!  I met with my doctor at my last appointment and asked him what we could do to make it a more intimate birth rather than just a surgery. It was enlightening to realize that I did have some control over the events.  I had DH and my best friends come in with me for the regular prep (not the OR prep) where you get the IV, answer questions, etc.  My doctor came early to meet with me and comforted me in the OR when I was told most doctors don't come in until the actual surgery.  The nurses and anesthesiologist talked with me the entire time during surgery and all the staff were incredibly excited and cheered when they pulled her out.  DH got to take pictures the whole time and then cut the chord. And I got to hold her because they didn't tie down my arms. The head nurse even took family photos for us. It was awesome and I'm grateful. After DH and DD left for the nursery, the same staff stayed with me and told me stories, made jokes, and kept the mood so positive. My doctor also took the time to double stitch my uterus in the event I would want to try for a VBAC. He had me back in recovery in less than an hour where I met back up with DD and learned to breastfeed.  I have no regrets about my birthing experience. 

    As for recovery I went in with low expectations thinking it would be incredibly difficult. For me, it was not. I was up the next morning showering and walking. Granted the first steps were hard, but it got easier each time. As soon as I got home, I set up a nice little station in my bathroom. It was a little table that had pads, my peri bottle, breast pads (because I started leaking when my milk came in), extra panties, and extra toilet paper. This way I didn't have to bend, reach for, or lift a thing!  DH also put a new shower head in the main shower for me that had different settings and was not mounted to the wall. That way I could put the water pressure on very low and clean everything gently and directly.

    So as disappointed as you may be with the situation now, I promise it can still be incredibly positive. Don't listen to anything negative around you especially if it's from family. You'll do great and I wish you luck!!

  • emmy236emmy236
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Thank you so much for that info. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to really freak out because around 8pm I started with contractions. They went from 10 mins to 3 mins in less than three hours and I was almost fainting from the pain. I walked into the hospital and barely got hooked up before complications were spotted right away. Quick version was within an hour of getting to the hospital I was being rushed in for an emergency c section. Luckily now we're ok but it was insanely scary. I will definitely have DH set up a station in our bathroom
  • image HattieDornbush:
    My advice is to not worry about your family and focus on yourself and your baby :. Honestly once the baby is here and you are both healthy, family won't care about how he got here. Any easy meals are great ideas, like making and freezing lasagna, speghetti, casseroles, etc.

    This! And have lots of fruit juices on hand they were really nice to drink after the 4-6 hours after the c-section before you can drink. Just enough sugar to help keep you going and it helps prevent a slow gut which can make your life uncomfortable after the c. 

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