I am so discouraged today.
Background is that my LO is 5 weeks old tomorrow, and the first 3 weeks of his life was spent dealing with my cracked, ulcerated and bleeding nipples. He "looked good" but I had excrutiating pain since day 1. All I/we can come up with is that he must have a shallow latch b/c compression stripes have been a prominent feature of the pain. Due to this, I have had terrible vasospasm of the nipples.
At about 3 weeks I did a course of gentian violet, and that actually healed the open sores (other than one ulceration on each nipple which seem to be taking forever to heal) in about 2 days. I have no idea if it was the antibacterial or antifungal aspect of it that worked, but it did. I am on diflucan and he's on nystatin just for good measure since the gentian violet seemed to help, but I am not certain we actually have yeast at this point.
Things improved after that, and I have seen the LC frequently and have worked on his latch OVER and OVER and OVER again. I had a couple really good days this past week and I was so encouraged, especially on the left side-- the nipple actually looked like a nice pencil eraser when he came off most of the time!
And, then, today I could barely stand the pain and I had huge compression stripes again when he unlatched. I am scared he is going to open up the tips of the nipples again. I cannot figure out what happened! I literally latched and unlatched him about 15 times on each side trying to get a pain free (or nearly so) latch, which only makes the nipples more sore.
**Is this always going to be like this??** I keep hearing that as he grows and his mouth gets bigger, if I keep working on the latch it will get better. I just want a "normal" and pleasant nursing relationship, like I had with my last child. Do babies just have bad days sometimes? I am so disheartened and wanting to run away right now thinking about things going back to the way they were.
ETA: sorry this ended up being so long : (.