I have a friend that wants me to be his surrogate when he and his partner are ready to have kids. I am probably going to do it. I am still deciding whether it will be my egg or not. They are willing to save up for an egg donor if needed.
Emotionally, I think I'm a great candidate for surrogacy.nbsp; Pregnancy was pretty abstract for me, and I liked giving birth.nbsp; I didn't feel like my daughter was mine until after she was born.nbsp; I think knowing all through the process that it wasn't my child, it wouldn't feel like my child.nbsp; I'm not sure I could do it with my own egg, though.nbsp; And I would want to do it for a family member or close friend, so mom could be there at the birth, I could donate milk, etc.nbsp; I think I would feel proud and happy I did it, not sad.
You said exactly how I feel and why I think I could do it. Get out of my head Ovey.
Like some PPs, I have a hard enough time considering whether or not I could go through a second pregnancy, delivery, and labour for a child of my own .. let alone for someone else.
I couldn't do it, not in a million years. But the act of "having a baby" has been my biggest fear since I was 14 (thanks for that horrifying birth video, 9th grade sex ed teacher!), so that's not really surprising. I definitely applaud those that do, though.
I would if the opportunity arose and it was for someone I care about. I wouldn't seek it out, though.
I love being pregnant and I've had 2 successful, healthy pregnancies. However, I feel it would be a burden on my husband and kids. I can be cranky, and in 2 of my pregnancies I've had bad morning sickness (this one and my first).
On a sidenote, my sister offered to be a surrogate for me years ago. At the time, my ex and I had been TTC for almost 4 years. It really touched me that she volunteered, especially since she doesn't like being pregnant..lol
ETA: I honestly don't think I would have a hard time "giving up" the child after he/she was born. I have never really bonded that much with my babies until they were 3 or 4 months old. I love them, of course, but.... well, it's hard to explain. Anyway, if the child were not biologically mine, and I had it in my mind the entire pregnancy that "this is not my child", then I really don't think it would be that hard. Seeing the joy on the parents' faces would overshadow any feelings of sadness I would feel.
I say this all without having actually gone through it, of course.
It would for sure depend on the circumstances, but I'm leaning towards no. First of all, I've hated being pregnant. Secondly, I've had multiple sections, and all my pregnancies have ended up being high risk, so I'm not sure I'd be a good candidate anyways.
I was watching a show about a stud horse that was getting paid 500k/pop today. I could definitely pimp DH's junk for that kind of cash.
When I was 18 and pregnant, I wanted to put the baby up for adoption, but my ex/baby daddy didn't allow it and sued me for custody 6 weeks before my due date. So, for most of my pregnancy, I strongly believed I was carrying someone else's baby. It was gut wrenching and difficult, especially because it was unplanned. But, I did do the job of separating myself from the baby, knowing that I was making the right choice for the baby and for myself. When I was sued for custody, my whole life changed, and I had to do a 180 very quickly. It was quite difficult too, but I was able to do it.
It was really important to me to assess at the moment of birth whether I really would have been able to go through with the adoption. I needed to know that even though I was kind of happy and a little relieved when I was sued for custody that I would have been able to keep my word and give the baby up for adoption. In the delivery room, when she was first born, I did have a very peaceful realization that had things gone the other way, I would have been able to give the child to the mother I had chosen for her.
So, I think if I came across the right person at the right time, I would be able to carry a child as a surrogate. These days, I'm too old, and just not interested in being pregnant again, so I would probably not do it now, but I could have done it when I was younger without reservation.
However, were I childless and not interested in having children, I would not consider it for a second. I think your friend is an amazing person for thinking about it because it is a huge sacrifice to make for someone else, especially considering how much it could change her life's plans in the long run. Being pregnant can really change your views on wanting children, and it could really bring about a major change in her thinking. Also, I would not sign up to do something I had never done before without knowing how my body would react to it... All of us considered how our pregnancies went before answering this question. That's an unknown for her, and a really big one, I think.
Re: Could you be a surrogate?
You said exactly how I feel and why I think I could do it. Get out of my head Ovey.
Like some PPs, I have a hard enough time considering whether or not I could go through a second pregnancy, delivery, and labour for a child of my own .. let alone for someone else.
I couldn't do it, not in a million years. But the act of "having a baby" has been my biggest fear since I was 14 (thanks for that horrifying birth video, 9th grade sex ed teacher!), so that's not really surprising. I definitely applaud those that do, though.
I would if the opportunity arose and it was for someone I care about. I wouldn't seek it out, though.
I love being pregnant and I've had 2 successful, healthy pregnancies. However, I feel it would be a burden on my husband and kids. I can be cranky, and in 2 of my pregnancies I've had bad morning sickness (this one and my first).
On a sidenote, my sister offered to be a surrogate for me years ago. At the time, my ex and I had been TTC for almost 4 years. It really touched me that she volunteered, especially since she doesn't like being pregnant..lol
ETA: I honestly don't think I would have a hard time "giving up" the child after he/she was born. I have never really bonded that much with my babies until they were 3 or 4 months old. I love them, of course, but.... well, it's hard to explain. Anyway, if the child were not biologically mine, and I had it in my mind the entire pregnancy that "this is not my child", then I really don't think it would be that hard. Seeing the joy on the parents' faces would overshadow any feelings of sadness I would feel.
I say this all without having actually gone through it, of course.
It would for sure depend on the circumstances, but I'm leaning towards no. First of all, I've hated being pregnant. Secondly, I've had multiple sections, and all my pregnancies have ended up being high risk, so I'm not sure I'd be a good candidate anyways.
I was watching a show about a stud horse that was getting paid 500k/pop today. I could definitely pimp DH's junk for that kind of cash.
When I was 18 and pregnant, I wanted to put the baby up for adoption, but my ex/baby daddy didn't allow it and sued me for custody 6 weeks before my due date. So, for most of my pregnancy, I strongly believed I was carrying someone else's baby. It was gut wrenching and difficult, especially because it was unplanned. But, I did do the job of separating myself from the baby, knowing that I was making the right choice for the baby and for myself. When I was sued for custody, my whole life changed, and I had to do a 180 very quickly. It was quite difficult too, but I was able to do it.
It was really important to me to assess at the moment of birth whether I really would have been able to go through with the adoption. I needed to know that even though I was kind of happy and a little relieved when I was sued for custody that I would have been able to keep my word and give the baby up for adoption. In the delivery room, when she was first born, I did have a very peaceful realization that had things gone the other way, I would have been able to give the child to the mother I had chosen for her.
So, I think if I came across the right person at the right time, I would be able to carry a child as a surrogate. These days, I'm too old, and just not interested in being pregnant again, so I would probably not do it now, but I could have done it when I was younger without reservation.
However, were I childless and not interested in having children, I would not consider it for a second. I think your friend is an amazing person for thinking about it because it is a huge sacrifice to make for someone else, especially considering how much it could change her life's plans in the long run. Being pregnant can really change your views on wanting children, and it could really bring about a major change in her thinking. Also, I would not sign up to do something I had never done before without knowing how my body would react to it... All of us considered how our pregnancies went before answering this question. That's an unknown for her, and a really big one, I think.