February 2013 Moms

Things I was wrong about...

Before having a baby:
I would have a medfree birth
I would exclusively pump
Luke would sleep in his crib from day 1
Cloth diapers gross no way!
No one would hold my baby but me/BD
My baby wouldn't lose his hair
I would go back to work in May

Actually:
Had an epidural and loved it
EBF I love it
Bed shared after 2 nights of misery
Cloth diapering
Of you have free arms please hold my kid!
Luke has male pattern baldness going on
Not going back to work quite yet

I'm sure as time goes on other things I swore I would not do will be added to this list. :/ just goes to show you never know what things you will compromise in the name of Sanity. I'm glad This hit me today.
What are things you do now that you didn't plan on? I know I can't be the only one!



Re: Things I was wrong about...

  • Planned on:

    As natural labor as possible

    EBF but have dad give her at least 1 bottle a day 

    Baby would sleep in our room for at least 6 months

    I would be handing off the baby to anyone willing to take her

     

    Actually:

    Intervention filled labor! Induced, pitocin, fentanol, epidural, vaccuum assist, episiotomy

    EBF Successful.. bottles, not so much.. They're just so much work. We have 3 weeks to get that figured out before daycare.

    Baby in her room by week 5

    I find myself getting jealous when other people hold her. Even daddy. I do my best to pass her off despite it. 

     

    Lots more, but these are the big three. 

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I actually had no concrete plans. 

    I know its better not to make them, so that you're not disappointed if you break them.

    So I went in with 2 things in the back of my mind that i'd LIKE to do, if possible.

    -I'd like to not have any narcotics, but an epi instead.

    - I'd like to delay cord clamping.

    And for after the birth,

    -I had a stash of cloth diapers, and prayed I was going to like it. We had a stash of sposies we got for gifts just in case. 

    -I had a breast pump but planned on giving BF a try.

    So I ended up getting pretty much everything under the sun EXCEPT for an epi.

    LO came so fast after getting narcotics that she wasn't breathing, so delayed cord clamping wasn't an option.  

    I found out that i LOVE cloth diapering SO MUCH. :D

    Breast feeding didn't work at all for us. LO had no suck reflex and was in the NICU for 4 days under the lights. I pumped and got a supply up. I hated every second of it, and I think I would have hated BFing just as much. So, we pumped for a month and supplimented with formula, and then I said enough is enough.

    I don't feel any regret whatsoever about any of my decisions, because I went into it KNOWING that I was going to do whatever was best for us at the time. I think thats the best mindset I coudl have had!  

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • tdmd09tdmd09
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Answers 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    member

    Like PP, I tried not to have any concrete plans because A) I knew Baby would do whatever he wanted, and I was along for the ride, and B) I had no idea what I was doing. That said..

    I had hoped for:

    - going into labor spontaneously, having a vaginal delivery

    - not having issues with BFing, planned to EBF for at least 6 months

     

    I ended up getting induced and having a c-section because baby's heart rate kept dropping with contractions. According to the LCs I was "doing everything right" to BF but baby wouldn't cooperate. I ended up EPing for 3 months, which was really impossible to do at work (12 hour shifts in the ER with only 1-2 pump breaks per shift) so I'm transitioning to FFing. I have mixed feelings about how BFing worked out and some guilt about quitting EPing, but I'm sure it'll pass.

    I had kind of hoped to keep baby in our room initially but DH didn't want to at all. In retrospect I'm kind of glad he started out in another room so we don't have to worry about transitioning him and I don't wake up with every little sound. 

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    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
  • I tried to keep an open mind as well. I had no die hard expectations but there were a few small surprises.

    I thought I would be able to let family or even friends babysit while I or DH and I did stuff without LO. I tried going to the opera with DH and DD had a melt down so we stayed. I successfully went to the movies ( a theater across the street) with some girlfriends while DH watched DD, DD lost it after I left and I was missing her the whole time!

    I actually don't want to do anything without her for a while as it turns out. And I get stressed at  the idea of anyone but DH and I watching her. I just don't trust anyone to make the same care-giving choices that DH and I do. Plus pumping extra is so stressful and I LOVE doing everything with my daughter. One day I will cramp her style so I'll have to get my fill of her now while she still thinks I'm the best!

    I didn't know BF was painful at first (how did that one slip past me? Duh) .

    I thought I would be wishing for an epidural and the hospital during my homebirth, I wasn't.

    Team Green: I was 75% sure I was having a redheaded boy. I got the hair right. Stick out tongue

    I thought I would want LO to sleep in the crib when she started STTN, nope.

    I'm starting to change my mind about weaning DD at one year, I'm thinking I might BF longer.

    And after research and careful consideration we're definitely not TTC #2 until DD's 2nd birthday.

    That's it I think. An open mind is key to avoiding disappointment.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Lbug09Lbug09
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    member
    This is fun! Goes to show you that having an open mind and being prepared for anything is the way to go! Or at least to try to!

    Wanted:
    1. To go into labor naturally, no pain meds, delayed cord clamp, immediate skin to skin
    2. Give BF a go, but with breast reduction surgery 10 yrs ago I knew I had to expect that I'd have no supply or low supply.
    3. Baby sleep in room for about 2 weeks, then crib.
    4. To get lots of organization done at the house with all this time off!
    5. Probably go back to work full time.

    Actual:
    1. 1 week past due date, midwife suggests induction because of large head...she was right!!. Had foley bulb and pitocin but made it thru without the epi. Meconium in the amniotic fluid so cord cut immediately and not put on my chest. Taken to get suctioned. Got to hold him briefly while swaddled and then he was whisked to NICU. Thankfully all was well and he wasn't officially admitted, only there for 4 hrs. Surprisingly at the time I wasn't sad about the cord cut and no skin to skin. I just wanted those nurses to do what they do and make sure he was ok!
    2. BFing has definitely been a challenge with mastitis 3 times but we have been EBF for 3 and a half months! DS is gaining weight perfectly. Although I do NOT think formula is the enemy...I was a FF baby and my mom loved me just as much!!..I am thrilled that my breasts are working and I haven't had to give formula yet!
    3. 3 and a half months and DS is still in the room with us! I just can't move him yet! Love him near me.
    4. Get stuff done around the house...hah! Most "free time" in the beginning was spent staring at his beautiful face in awe. And now that I'm getting the hang of this baby thing. I'm just getting basic cleaning and cooking done...that's it!
    5. Definitely going back part time and wishing and dreaming that I could be a SAHM.



  • Lbug09Lbug09
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    member
    ALSO...thought CDing was gross...way too much work. But I've found myself fascinated by it and ordered a trial and have been giving it a go. What brands do you ladies like?
  • Planned:
    A med free birth
    BFing
    Cloth diapering
    Deep cleaning my home while I was on maternity leave

    Actuality:
    After "false" labor for a week and back labor I opted for the epi and I regret nothing. Not how I wanted it but I was in too much back pain to care.
    BFing was hard! DD wanted to eat every hour and frequently clusterfed.
    I love cloth diapers!!!
    Cleaning? See above about feeding and you'll know why even laundry is a challenge!

    Even tho it hasn't really been what I expected, I love being a mom.
  • E is my second so I went in just praying I didn't have a labor like I did with my daughter 30plus hours and my hospital then didn't do epidural... not sure how that one escaped my notice before birth.

    What actually happened... E was induced 4 days over due when my bp skyrocketed. Started pit at 8am, got the epi by 130pm, started pushing at 7 and he was born by 8pm.

    I ebf and love it. We bedshare again and love it, I CD again but this time I like it... last time I HATED cding. Really the only thing that didn't go according to my plan was the birth and only because I was induced. Oh well the best laid plans right?
                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

    Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

                                   Lilypie - (2q9u)


  • I wanted to avoid unnecessary interventions. I did end up gettin some pitocin and an epidural after my labor stalled at 8 cm. At that point I'd had four days of false labor followed by something like 16 hours of real labor, and my OB isn't really one for unnecessary interventions so I trusted his judgment and didn't really mind. I was ready for it to be over, and the epidural allowed me to sleep for a bit so I had enough energy to push. Pretty sure I'd have ended up with a csection otherwise, so it was definitely the lesser of two evils as far as I was concerned!

    But other than that, most things turned out the way I'd expected/hoped. I got immediate skin to skin time, DD was able to nurse almost right away, and breastfeeding was surprisingly easy. Cloth diapering is going splendidly so far, and I've managed to keep up with housework pretty well, though that last bit is largely thanks to a husband who is always happy to either hang out with DD while I do housework or do housework himself if I give him a list.

    Oh, and to the PP who asked about cloth diapers, we use GMD prefolds and love them!


    image
  • I like this idea!!

    Before baby:::

    Med free birth

    Breast feed and/or pumping

    Sleeping in crib immediately 

    After baby:::

    Csection birth

    Exclusively formula fed

    Bed shared up until 7 weeks (& every morning she comes into the bed with me.)  

    I'm sure there's more but it's all I can think of right now. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Drea926Drea926
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    member

    This is funny...I was just talking about this with DH. I had so many plans and was so sure of things....HA!

    I thought I would BF for at least 6 months before I went back to work....that didn't work out...I could never keep up with the little guy's appetite....he got 2 weeks of all BM and 5 more weeks of a BM/formula combo before becoming exclusively FF.

    I wanted to room share for at least 3 months but he was super loud and DH and I were attending to him at every sound....so he got moved to his room at 5 weeks (in the RnP) and then transitioned to the crib at 9 weeks.

    Those are the majors! In retrospect I think everything is working out the best though. DS is getting plenty to eat and isn't crying out in hunger (possibly the worst feeling in the world when I couldn't satisfy him) and everyone is sleeping more. So I guess all's well that ends well!

    image

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  • image Lbug09:
    ALSO...thought CDing was gross...way too much work. But I've found myself fascinated by it and ordered a trial and have been giving it a go. What brands do you ladies like?

    I have osocozy and cottonbabies prefolds. Osocozy are okay. I love the Cottonbabies!! I get the unbleached Indian cotton.

    I also use thirsties and assunta "one-size" covers. I like having the option of either for any given situation, especially some snaps and some hook and eye.

    I'm about to buy a wool cover for overnight. I use a bamboo flat folded in origami fold from a seller on Etsy for overnights, its thicker and more absorbant so I don't have to change so many diapers in the MOTN DD can go through 6 cotton prefolds vs, two bamboo flats. I can't wait to use wool instead of the o/s covers!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image Lbug09:
    ALSO...thought CDing was gross...way too much work. But I've found myself fascinated by it and ordered a trial and have been giving it a go. What brands do you ladies like?

     

    APPLECHEEKS!!! I'm totally a CD addict!! I've currently got 9 diapers in the mail coming to me! Some of them I paid almost 50$ for because they're discontinued! I have a serious addiction... 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • SagenSagen
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member

    I thought because he was my fourth bf wouldn't be too hard, I nursed all three to a year. I had the hardest time of all four, and for some crazy reason I had the worst OALD/OS more than I had with any other. At around 2-2.5 months I finally started to like breastfeeding.

    I thought I would co-sleep, but he sleeps better in his RNP by us.

    Other than that I had no ideas of how things would be :)

    Mom to 4 cute kids, 10 y/o girl, 8, 6, and 1.5 y/o boys
    image
     
  • a13049a13049
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    Before baby
    Go into labor naturally
    Team epidural!
    Baby would sleep on bassinet till 12 weeks then transition to crib
    I was a career woman all the way

    Actual
    I was leaking fluid and had to have pitocin to induce labor
    I got the epidural, but it never kicked it
    We bed share and I am so not ready to transition to the crib
    I returned to work and can't stand leaving LO each day

     

     

     

  • Lbug09Lbug09
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    member
    TThanks for the CD info ladies! I've found prefolds to be a little complicated for me...I thi I just need practice. Really liked bumgenius one size and kawaii but it was a little big.

    image WinterBenson:

    image Lbug09:
    ALSO...thought CDing was gross...way too much work. But I've found myself fascinated by it and ordered a trial and have been giving it a go. What brands do you ladies like?

     

    APPLECHEEKS!!! I'm totally a CD addict!! I've currently got 9 diapers in the mail coming to me! Some of them I paid almost 50$ for because they're discontinued! I have a serious addiction... 


    I want to try these! But I thought I saw on the site that they only ship to canada? Did I see that wrong, or are you in Canada?
  • The main thing I was wrong about was bedsharing and babywearing. I thought I'd be doing both. After a couple weeks of bedsharing and neither me nor baby getting any sleep, I put him in his bassinet and now we both are well-rested and happy. :) Also, as it turns out, baby does NOT want to be worn unless he's sleepy. He much prefers to sit by himself and watch us or sit in my lap and check everything out. So much for attachment parenting! lol
  • I really, really didn't want a c/s, but when my body freaked out on cervidil, that's what happened. 

    I thought "bed sharing" would involve the Summer Infant Snuggle Nest... LOL NOPE. My boobs are LO's preferred "snuggle nest" Wink

    I also dreaded dealing with all the bodily functions... spit up, drool, poo... I was pleasantly surprised at how I do.not.care about the "gross" aspect of any of it. He can sneeze right into my cleavage or neck or anywhere else and I just say, "bless you!" while a small part of me secretly worries that he sneezes too much and there's something wrong - same with spit up (that has gone directly into my bra one or twice) haha

    I just had no idea really how my life and perspective would change in little ways. This is a pretty good article about that:

    http://www.babycenter.com/0_forty-two-things-that-change-when-you-have-a-baby_1452535.bc 

     

    eta... bodily. not b doily. lol 

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Before:

    I would go into labor naturally and have vaginal delivery

    wanted immediate skin to skin

    would bf iimmediately.  I said I accepted what ever people chose and thought I did but secretly was really judgemental about people choosing not to bf

    no pacifiers for at least a month 

    no bed sharing due to fear of sids

     Reality

    had to be induced after being a week late.  After 24 hrs of cervidal and still 0% effaced and 0 dilated had a CS.

    got to see her and give a kiss on the cheek before they took her away for three hours to check blood sugars due to her being big (she was fine!) and for me to regain some feeling.

    after weeks of trying to bf with very cracked nipples and even an LC suggesting pumping and taking a break, switched to EPing.  This still sucks and am currently Decreasing with plans to stop when I go back to work in a week.  Who knew it really was this hard?!  What a jerk I was/am

    gave a pacifier before she was two weeks old. She loves it to help go to sleep.  I love it to help her go to sleep

    have had her sleep with us several times for the whole night.  Often as a treat after her early morning feed because I love the snuggles.  Best part of my Mother's Day gift was going back to sleep together

     at least motherhood is teaching me to be a nicer less judgemental person I hope 

    • Thought:

      I wanted a meds free vbac.

      i had no intentions to bf, it didnt go well with dd.   

       in actuality: 

      i ended up with the epidural, they tried to incude me with pitocin because my water broke, I only dilated a cm more than I already was, so I got the epidural, and I dilated  in less than 30 minutes.

      DS latched within 10 seconds of trying, and we are still ebf 4 months later. 

        Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers m/c Harrison 2/6/12 @ 14weeks
      • One plan:
        No episiotomy!

        After 18 hours of labor where the epidural failed and now my body has no means of pain management:
        Dr: If I make a small incision...
        Me: DO IT!!!
        BabyFruit Ticker
      • Most things have gone according to my plan...but most of my plans were pretty open.

        The one thing I thought I'd do was move LO to his own room/crib at three months.  I've since decided to wait six months (or until he outgrows the PNP bassinet) due to AAP recommendations...and that I am so not ready.  I didn't expect to be so attached to him sharing our room!

        Oh, and I thought I wouldn't swaddle.  I just didn't see the point.  In actuality, LO was swaddled every single time he went to sleep until a couple of weeks ago.  And when we deswaddled, I was so sad!

        image

        image 

      • image Lbug09:
        TThanks for the CD info ladies! I've found prefolds to be a little complicated for me...I thi I just need practice. Really liked bumgenius one size and kawaii but it was a little big.
        image WinterBenson:

        image Lbug09:
        ALSO...thought CDing was gross...way too much work. But I've found myself fascinated by it and ordered a trial and have been giving it a go. What brands do you ladies like?

         

        APPLECHEEKS!!! I'm totally a CD addict!! I've currently got 9 diapers in the mail coming to me! Some of them I paid almost 50$ for because they're discontinued! I have a serious addiction... 

        I want to try these! But I thought I saw on the site that they only ship to canada? Did I see that wrong, or are you in Canada?

        They only do wholesale on that website. Check out www.liltulips.com!! They're based in the US, and I've done business with them 3 times buying diapers and they've got excellent service!! Check out the Applecheeks Anonymous and Applecheeks for buy, sell and trade on FB for lots of mamas across Canada and the US who want to trade/sell their used diapers. If you do that, you can have a chance to try a used one first, to see ifyou like it, but trust me, best diapers ever!!!

        BabyFruit Ticker
      • My toddler won?t leave the house with food on his face (HA!)Homeschooling is for weirdos and fundamentalists, and their children are unsocialized and don?t know how to listen to adults. (HAHAHAHA)No pacifiers!  They cause nipple confusion (Jack took a pacifier for about 3 months but there was nooooooo confusion involved.  He knew when he wanted the pacifier and when he wanted the boob).  
        Missed m/c discovered 3/15/12 at 8w2d: "Henry."
        imageimage
        Good god, Mr. Tomlinson, are you QUITE finished?

        Jack 04/29/10 dairy, peanut and seasonal allergies; Sensory Processing Disorder, Autism
        Rhys 01/25/13 Peanut and tree nut allergy, MSPI
        Lilypie - (cF7R) Lilypie - (Phka)



      • All of these are great! Definitely brings perspective for a new mom.
      • alakealake
        250 Answers 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its
        member

        My hopes.  She is a August 2012 baby.  I have guardianship of a Feb. 2013 baby

        This is my third:

        DD1 was 48 hours of labor 3 hours of pushing, forceps delivery.

        DD2 was 36 hours of labor, and an emergency c-section.

        DD3: was to be repeat c-section.

        Breastfeeding: if she would take it, hopefully last 6 weeks.  My older two didn't nurse at all.

         Eryn had different plans.

        at 37 weeks my water broke.  By the time I got to the hospital I was seven centimeters, and went from 7 to 10 by the time the doctor showed up an hour after I arrived at the hospital.  I had a natural unplanned vbac.  

        I breastfed Eryn to six months and switched her to formula.  I nursed Mal to 3 months, when AF showed up for the first time and my milk supply tanked and switched her to formula.

      • As a STM I knew not to bother making plans this time around, but I'll play for DD1

        Plans: 

        No pitocin, no episiotomy, labor as long as possible at home/walking around

         I would neeeeeeeeeeeever let my baby CIO, even for a little while

        My baby would learn to sleep through the night through love, rocking, and patience

         It would be hard but I would be a "natural" at being a mother

        Actuality: 

        My water broke with no labor at 36 weeks so I need pitocin from the get-go. Labor was still remarkably quick and easy except I needed an episiotomy to get her out at the end, and it was totally NBD.

        My baby SUCKED at sleeping, screamed when rocked, screamed when patted or sung to, and her sleep got worse and worse. Ended up trying every method of STing in the world.

        I love my girls to death but I feel like a total failure as a mom at least once a day and I've learned to accept it. Parenting isn't easy or pretty.

      • Love this post!

        Before DD2:

        - wanted a VBAC

        - wanted to BF this time (didn't pan out with DD1)

        - co-sleeper for at least 6 months

         

        Actual:

        - started to rupture during prodromal labor and had a RCS

        - DD2 wouldn't latch, so I pumped for 3 weeks with an ever-diminishing supply and switched to FF

        - the co-sleeper is working out as well as it did with DD1


        BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
        BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
        BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

      • The two main things I was so sure about was that I would EBF for six months and that DS would be in his own room from the get go.

        What really happened is that DS has been FF since seven weeks old, and he moved into his own room at 3 months old. When I got him home the thought of him being that "far" away in his room made me sad and nervous. FWIW, you can sit on my bed and throw a coin and hit DS' crib in his room. That's how "far" from us he is, haha!

        image
      • Before:
        Vaginal birth after going into labor naturally
        Med-free birth
        Delayed cord clamping
        EBF
        No pacifier
        Allow CIO at 3 months
        Cloth diaper - no way
        A baby who STTN at 8 weeks (my friend's baby did, why should mine?!)
        Back to work after 12 weeks

        After:
        Induction 8 days overdue
        Epi at 3 am because I was too tired to proceed (no rest when a yoga ball is the only place that's even remotely comfortable!), though the birth was vaginal.  I do kind of regret the epi, because I seriously felt nothing and I feel like it took me longer to bond and fully realize that I'd just given birth.  I do know it was for the best because his BP dropped and I wouldn't have had the strength to get him out without the vacuum that they were wanting to use. 
        Pacifier given on second night after 4 straight hours of nursing/comfort suckling - no regrets!  Sometimes it is the only thing he wants!
        CIO is not an optinon - at least not to the extent H wants.  I'm okay with 10 minute intervals, he wants 30 minutes.
        We love cloth diapering
        He is 3 months today and is still not STTN
        We are EBF (save for during the day while I'm working and H is home with baby).
        I am back to work, but will be leaving in two weeks.

        image

        image
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