Trouble TTC

Numb pregnancy ment. not mine

One of my best friends just told me shes pregnant. You know how it goes.. they just started trying. I was on my way home and started crying. I feel so numb, this one really hit me. Of course I'm happy for her, however it deeply hurts.

How long do you give yourself to just be sad/upset/and ugly cry?

sorry for errors im mobile
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Re: Numb pregnancy ment. not mine

  • katib77katib77
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    Each situation is unique, but if it's one of my close friends - I usually let myself cry for up to an hour.  And feel really sad for up to the whole day.  Then I try my best to move on.  

    TTC since July 2009. Dx MFI & LPD. 
    IUI#1&2&3 (2011 & 2012) BFN
    IUI#4 1/23/13 on 75iu x9 Follistim = BFP then chem preg m/c (Feb 2013)
    IUI#5 BFN (April 2013)
    IVF w/ICSI Oct. 2, 2012 - 13R, 11M, 7F, 1 frozen blast 4BB grade - - - FET Nov 15, 2013
    BFP! Beta 1:104 @ 10dp6dt, Beta 2:178 @ 12dp6dt,  beta 3:366 @ 14dp6dt
    Saw heartbeat twice before missed M/C at 8w3d on 12/27/13, missing my little angel boy
    JUNE 2014 IVF#2;  5R, 2M, 1F Three day transfer 6/7.  Beta 6/18 - BFN
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  • RunCC37RunCC37
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    I'm actually working on the same thing at the moment. I have no control over my emotions, and I let them get the best of me quite often. I think it's a great idea to indulge in a pity party (full of ugly crying, chocolate, sulking on the couch with my dog), but there needs to be an end time where I just move on. I haven't been very good at the moving on part though. 
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    Me: 32 DH: 34  TTC#1 since March 2012 

    IUI #1-5: BFN
    Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy: minimal endo, partial septoplasty
    IVF #1: 10R/6M/6F ~ Day 3 ET = BFN
    IVF #2: 14R/9M/5F ~ transfer canceled ~ all embryos arrested at 1-2 cell stage
    IVF #3: 9R/5M/5F ~ 1 frosty!
    FET #1: BFN
    Counting down the days until my appointment with the RI (August/September)

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  • jenaerbjenaerb
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    RunI'm going to try and work on my plants outside, clean, and garden but I agree my emotions run wild. :
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  • I had the worst reaction when my BFF told me she was pregnant last August. I hated the way I reacted...which was with jealousy and anger. I was not 3T at that time but It still seemed like it would never happen for me. I ugly cried for a long time..maybe a few days. But then I put my baby wanting energy into her, I bought her a pregnancy/baby memory book from Etsy and just sent her little things here and there.

    Be kind to yourself today, it's hard but it will get better. You will be happy for her once these emotions pass. 

    ((HUGS!!)

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  • This is something that I have been struggling with myself lately. It is so hard to hear that other people are pregnant - especially when it happened so fast for them! I usually give myself about a day to have as much of a pity party as I need, and then force myself to try to be optimistic and focus on moving forward. Good luck to you!
    Me: 31, DH: 31, TTC since April 2011. "unexplained" dx
    Initial testing through OB in August 2012, including HSG and SA
    Sept 2012 BFP, m/c at 7weeks.
    Met with RE March 2013
  • Each time one of my friends tells me they are pregnant I get jealous. At first I am so happy for them but after it sits in my mind a while my feelings crash over me like a huge wave. I think it is good to have an ugly cry once in a while just to let the emotions out and not keep them bottled in.
    Like some said try to keep your focus some where else. My husband and I took up playing the guitar and playing racquetball.

    One day you will hold your baby in your arms and all of this will be a distant memory.

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  • I don't have much advice, but just wanted to say I go through the same feelings. Some friends' pregnancy announcements sting more than others and I can't really put my finger on why. I try various things like long walks to clear my head but sometimes you just have to have a good cry. Hugs to you.

    Me: 29 DH: 30
    TTC since April 2012
    April 2013 HSG: All clear!
    SA, bloodwork normal
    Dx: unexplained IF
    4.28.2013: clomid 50 mg + trigger + IUI#1= BFN
    5.24.2013: femara 5 mg + trigger + IUI#2= BFN
    6.20.2013: femara 5 mg + trigger + IUI#3= BFN


  • Evo9380Evo9380
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    Sorry to hear your hurting =(

     How long for me depends on the situation and where I am told. If it's at a place that I can cry immediately after leaving, normally it's only 10-20 minutes of a good ugly cry.

     If it has time to sit on my mind (ie: while at work) for a few hours, it seems to take a lot longer to get over because I couldn't just process it and move on.

    Take a long hot shower and ugly cry it out! Chocolate & wine can't hurt either.

      

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  • Sorry you are dealing with that. Some hit me harder than others. I usually give myself a day to cry, mope, and feel sorry for myself then I start to try to get myself out of the rut. ((Hugs)) 

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    Treatments:  6 Months Lupron Depot injections; 1500 mg metformin; 3 cycles of Clomid + TI = BFN

    3 endometrial biopsies all were "out of phase" 

    September - December, 2013:  Break to lose weight and get healthy

    40 lb weight loss but still not ovulating "in phase"  

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  • jenaerbjenaerb
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
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    Thank you to all who responded. I worked outside a lot yesterday. I'm going to work on becoming less upset by putting that jealous feeling towards being excited for her...easier said than done, but I'm going to give it all I've got. 
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  • It depends.  Usually when I get a BFN and for Preg announcements I am sad and crying on and off the whole day.   After a Mother's Day FB Preg announcement I was overwhelmed with it being Mother's Day and finding out a friend was preg so I was a mess.  It never gets easier.  I just try to tell myself it will be my turn one day.  
    ***SIGGY WARNING***

    DX: Unexplained
    6 Failed IUIs (Clomid and Gonal F).  
    IVF #1 began August 2013- BC, 4 days of Estrace, stimmed with Gonal F and Menopur, Ganirelix, 9R 5M 5F, Medrol and Doxycycline, 5 day transfer of 2 early blastocysts- good quality, Progesterone, Estrace, and baby aspirin, BETA on 9/20 BFN,   IVF #2 began September 2013, stimming with Gonal F (higher dose) and Menopur, Ganirelix, 18R 14M 9F with ICSI, 5 day transfer of 2 BBs one was starting to hatch, 2 frosties: 1  BB and 1 AC, BETA on 10/21, BFN BETA was a 5- chemical 
    Getting some more testing and trying to figure out what the issue is before FET in December, started acupuncture on 11/10, RLP and some other BW nothing major to report except slightly high Prolactin. Prolactin was slightly high when I started with my RE and I already had an MRI which was Neg.  Endo biopsy=negative.  WTF is wrong with us???
    12/18/13 FET of 1 BB and 1 AC.  Hoping for a miracle.  Beta 12/26 Low BETA-8 2nd BETA 5- chemical
    After 3 failed transfers IDK where to go from here.  Still no real answers as to why this isn't working.  Getting a second opinion in February and looking into immune testing.  
    2/14- NEW RE- Immune testing showed a partial dq alpha match with DH- On prednisone and did intralipids prior to transfer.  3/14 Lupron, gonal f, menopur, HGH.  ER 15 mature all 15 fertilized!  5dt of an early blast grade 1 and an expanded blast grade 2.  BETA on 4/21.  1 grade 2 embryo frozen
    BETA #1 59 BETA #2 148 BETA #3 283 BETA #4 2,783! US at 6w2d shows 1 bean measuring right on track! HR 121.  US at 8w3d measuring on track HR 177. Released form my RE.  EDD 12/28


    All Welcome
  • My sister just told me she was pregnant yesterday before we left for a wedding. I cried almost the whole day off and on and still feel so empty I side about it. We have been TTC for close to 2 years and they weren't even trying, it just happened. It's going to have to be a decision only you and your partner can make. My husband and I haven't given up yet but I think we may have to re evaluate after we hit the 2 year mark of trying, taking meds, and doing tests.
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