Breastfeeding

Unsupportive dh.

My dh has become very unsupportive of my breastfeeding. He was fine at first but now that ds is 4 months old he says it's time to stop. I've tried reasoning with him and he won't budge. He has crazy reasons that don't make sense for wanting me to stop. So it's depressing for me that he doesn't support me. Is anyone else in my shoes? I'm so glad that I have you ladies to cheer me on and remind me how good I'm doing because I'm sure not going to hear it from him.
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Re: Unsupportive dh.

  • My LO will be 16 weeks on Monday and I am planning on BFing until he's at least a year old, hopefully longer!!! I love it!! The first couple of weeks were rough but I'm so glad I stuck it out bc it's the best thing in the world for him right now and I absolutely love our little one-on-one time together!!!! It also creates that special bond that babies need with their mommies. Hang in there! Your doing what's best for you and baby. Your H needs to either fully support you or keep his opinions to himself!! You're doing a great job!!!! ::hugs::  
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  • I am sorry dh is not supportive but maybe you could ask him to stop talking about it, thi is your choice and its good for you both and if does not agree then thats fine but this is one thing you feel strongly about. Your doing great! 4 months and your getting to the easy stages! Short time at the boob and longer stretches! Keep it up mommy!

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  • Can you just agree to disagree? It doesn't sound like he's going to be logical about it so arguing or trying to reason with him probably won't get you anywhere. Just tell him you really love it, your not quitting and that's that. Stand your ground! He may be mad but he will get over it if you continue to stand your ground. If you quit because of him you may always resent him for it.
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  • Yeah, what are his reasons? Estimate the cost of formula for the next 8 months if nothing else, and show that to him.

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  • I feel your pain.  My DH has increasingly become less supportive as time has went on-and we're only 11 weeks in!  Any time DS gets fussy, he thinks his tummy is upset and is from my BM. He said yesterday that he thought if we switched to formula, he wouldn't have gas. DS doesn't have gas issues, just normal newborn gas.  DH also is worried that when I go back to work in 3 weeks and he is home for the summer to take care of him, he is going to have issues because of BF.  He thinks that I comfort nurse too much and this is going to cause problems.  There's rarely any comfort nursing during the day.

    So I remind him the cost of formula, the extra effort it would take to mix up bottles and then to wash all those bottles, and the benefits of BF.  Good luck with your battle!   

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  • image milkergirl1:
    I feel your pain.nbsp; My DH has increasingly become less supportive as time has went onand we're only 11 weeks in!nbsp; Any time DS gets fussy, he thinks his tummy is upset and is from my BM. He said yesterday that he thought if we switched to formula, he wouldn't have gas. DS doesn't have gas issues, just normal newborn gas.nbsp;nbsp;DH alsonbsp;is worried that when I go back to work in 3 weeks and he is home for the summer to take care of him, he is going to have issues because of BF.nbsp; He thinks that I comfort nurse too much and this is going to cause problems.nbsp; There's rarelynbsp;any comfort nursing during the day.So I remind him the cost of formula,nbsp;the extra effort it would take to mix up bottlesnbsp;and then to wash all those bottles, and the benefits of BF.nbsp; Good luck with your battle!nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;


    Guys can be so weird! My husband always complains that he can't put DS to sleep on his own because he doesn't have boobs. However, I feed DS, then I put him over my shoulder where he finally falls asleep. So, he doesn't nurse to sleep, but for some reason my husband doesn't believe me.

    Anyway, I think some husbands are just insecure and scared about being left alone with the baby. The truth is they just need us to boost their ego and praise them for keeping the baby alive while we get a few minutes to ourselves. Your DH will find his rhythm. He'll figure out what works for him.

    In the meantime, I would present him with research: health benefits for both mom and baby, financial savings, etc. I would also show him that American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for the first year and then for as long as both mom and baby want. Notice, Dad isn't mentioned in their advice. The World Health Organization recommends doing it for the first two years. You've got to be your baby's advocate. Keep breastfeeding for as long as you and baby want.

    ETA: I'm sure your pediatrician will say to breastfeed for at least the first 6 months if not longer. You should call your ped's office and see what they recommend. Then, if they suggest longer, I would ask again at the next appt in front of DH. Maybe if he hears it from the doctor, he'd be more supportive.
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  • lovelyXlovelyX member
    This is going to sound weird but is he having a hard time getting around the idea of them not being there in a sexual sense? I know this was hard for my husband and he was supportive of breastfeeding but it was a bump in my breastfeeding adventure which I addressed to him and eventually we both became more comfortable in their new role and their lesser role in our sex life.

    Just know you are doing a great job and that even doing it for 4 months is an amazing feat. I hope you can talk to your dh and he comes around to your way of thinking.
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  • I'm really sorry your DH is unsupportive. I would be interested to hear his reasons.

    Know that you are 200% supported here. Do your best to stand your ground and continue BFing your LO because there are so many benefits...increased immunity for baby, superior nutrition, even a chance to gain a few more IQ points if the genes are right. Also, women who have breastfed children for an extended period of time have a significantly lower chance of getting breast cancer.

    At the very least, try to BF until six months, which is recommended by the CDC. 

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  • neumc14neumc14
    100 Comments
    member
    Formula would cause gas problems
  • neumc14neumc14
    100 Comments
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    Why wouldn't your husband want you to do what is best for his child ? It makes no sense to me. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My husband is beyond supportive I told him before we got pregnant that I would nurse for at least the first year and now dd is 13 months Nd I'm still nursing
  • He says that bf was great in the beginning but that it's run it's course. He thinks ds isn't getting enough. He thinks ds gas is because of bm. He thinks ds being fussy at bedtime is bc of bf at night (when I work dh has to put ds to bed). And probably the craziest reason...he thinks it's unhealthy for ds to be so tightly attached to me. He calls ds a titty baby and says I'm doing psychological damage by nursing him so long. I know, I know it's insane!!! I just wish he would be more supportive. He has mentioned me ep'ing (not interested) and still give ds bm from a bottle. I'm not doing that. I don't want to stop and I'm not going to.
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  • Wow. I can't imagine if my DH had said those things to me when my LO was that young.

    He does say the attachment thing about my LO, and we call her the 'titty monster' but in a joking and loving way.  

    I'm sorry that he cannot be more supportive of you.

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  • image Calypso312:
    He says that bf was great in the beginning but that it's run it's course. He thinks ds isn't getting enough. He thinks ds gas is because of bm. He thinks ds being fussy at bedtime is bc of bf at night when I work dh has to put ds to bed. And probably the craziest reason...he thinks it's unhealthy for ds to be so tightly attached to me. He calls ds a titty baby and says I'm doing psychological damage by nursing him so long. I know, I know it's insane!!! I just wish he would be more supportive. He has mentioned me ep'ing not interested and still give ds bm from a bottle. I'm not doing that. I don't want to stop and I'm not going to.

    Wow. I'd have a hard time not punching so done sayin that shiiit. My h thank goodness knows the benefits and is my biggest supporter. If he weren't, we'd rethink his role in my/ baby's life. I wouldn't want someone that ignorant and rude around my kid.
    It sounds like he's jealous of your baby. It's a common after birth issue especially in breast feeding. I remember reading a study when I was studying human development in college and it said there is a spike in divorce/ separations within the first
    year after birth and it is doubled for special needs babies.
    Stand your ground momma.
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  • image Calypso312:
    He says that bf was great in the beginning but that it's run it's course. He thinks ds isn't getting enough. He thinks ds gas is because of bm. He thinks ds being fussy at bedtime is bc of bf at night when I work dh has to put ds to bed. And probably the craziest reason...he thinks it's unhealthy for ds to be so tightly attached to me. He calls ds a titty baby and says I'm doing psychological damage by nursing him so long. I know, I know it's insane!!! I just wish he would be more supportive. He has mentioned me ep'ing not interested and still give ds bm from a bottle. I'm not doing that. I don't want to stop and I'm not going to.


    Wow! Just wow! You need to educate him. Honestly, that just sounds verbally abusive. I'm sorry you have to deal with his crap. As another pp, stand your ground! Good luck!
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  • ObLaDiObLaDi
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 100 Love Its First Answer
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    Wow. Saying things like he is WILL cause psychological damage.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
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