Parenting after 35

How do you meet other parents?

Hi all!  I'm 37 and consider myself a new mom (my baby is 20 months old). I'm also new to posting on boards (there is a first time for everything), but I'm reaching a point of frustration and desperation.  For the first 9 months of my child's life I was overwhelmed with a new baby, nursing, and working.  I'm finding a balance and realize I crave a friend with a child close to my child's age.  I find people my age either have multiple children (and laugh at the struggles of a parent of JUST one) or have kids who are in much older or have no children (and don't relate to motherhood). How do you meet other parents?  Any suggestions?

Re: How do you meet other parents?

  • I'm having a tough time with it. I met many at the playgrounds and local stores but haven't felt any bond to justify attempting to start a friendship. Others have recommended meetup.com. Haven't checked it out yet. I'm almost 43 and age has felt like an issue at times. 

    Looking forward to what others say... 

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  • I guess I'm fortunate that I have co-workers who I actually like and have young kids.  Other places I've met people are the library story time, music class, baby boot camp (stroller strides), the pool, church, a local online message board that I follow. I'm not sure how big of a town you live in.  That may be a factor in how many mommy activities are available.    Sometimes it can feel like applying to a dating site when trying to find mommy friends.  I think the key is to not try too hard.  Let friendships happen naturally.
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  • anchibaanchiba
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
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    This is my problem too! All the other moms I've met are so young compared to me (I'm 41). I don't even want to mention my age to them. I just don't know anyone my age with a toddler. It's really frustrating. Even the mom meetups in my area seem filled with much younger women.
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  • MAtoNCMAtoNC
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    We have had good luck meeting other parents at our community pool, little gym, and daycare/preschool (my son is 3 now). Many of them are 10 years younger than I am, but I have found that as long as they are over 30 years old, we still have a lot in common. We go on date nights with some of these couples, have playdates for the kids, and do things together with our families, too. 

    We are one-and-done, and many of these parents are having 2nd children now which is changing things a bit (they have their hands full, so socially, it isn't as easy to plan as it has been in the past), but still is workable if we plan ahead enough.  

    This might sound a bit weird, but here goes: When I do things with DS that require a bit of money (e.g. little gym), there are usually some older moms there and fewer moms in their early 20's. I think it is just a matter of life stage--older parents are more likely at a stage in their lives/careers where they have a bit more disposable income to spend on some of those things for their kids.

    If you can afford it, I recommend things like little gym, kindermusik, or other mommy and me type activities. 

    Married 4/12/08 DS born 11/17/2009 via c-section at 39 weeks. 11/12/2011 BFP #2!! m/c 7w5d. 2/28/2012 BFP #3 Beta #1-12dpo = 18; Beta #2-16dpo = 185; Beta #3-18dpo = 505. EDD 11/10/2012. Ectopic discovered at 5w4d. D&C followed by methotrexate.
  • I am in the same boat. Being 40 with a one year old, plus working a full time and a part time job, I barely have time or energy for younger moms. meetup.com is pretty good but I find a lot of the events are scheduled during the day when I work.

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  • GHBEAGHBEA
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
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    I'm 43 and am always the oldest mom.  I have met through story time at the library and my moms group.  I also have 2 adult children.
                                                 Mom to 4 wonderful daughters
                                 Breanna, Ellie and 
                                 our 2 rainbow babies.

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  • Ms.JadeMs.Jade
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
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    I joined a mom's group on Meetup.com.
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  • Thank you for all of the suggestions and taking the time to reply.  It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

  • My two best friends (one since grade school, the other joined us in high school) are at totally different points in their lives - one will never have children and hasn't even been in a serious relationship for quite some time and other's daughter graduates high school next weekend - so I was kind of in the same spot.  I followed the full progression on these boards - from the knot and wedding planning, to the nest and now here.  Through the knot and the nest I did find a small group of friends that I now see on a regular basis and one of them has a child six weeks younger than mine and the others have children within a few years so I do have that.  And a fellow daycare mom and I have cultivated a friendship over the last year.  She found out that we lived nearby and was seeking new friends with kids so she left a note from her son to my daughter inviting her on a playdate.  I should note that I am 40 and all of these new friends are at least 5 years younger than me...at least one has not yet hit 30.

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  • KL777KL777
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    I'm in a moms group that also has a sub-group of working moms.  The working moms part of the group---we meet every other month.  It works out great. The ages vary, though most of us in the working moms part of the group all have advanced degrees and are over the age of 35.

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  • steverstever
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
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    Gymboree or DS1's school. Though we've never made any actual friends that way, it's nice to have a chat at least.
  • I found it really hard until my kids started school to be honest.  I am a working mom and the kids were in daycare so honestly, wanted to spend my weekends with my kids.  We made friends with a handful of families from daycare and would do family playdates on the weekends every few months.  We also took ECFE (parent and me classes) through the school district and made some friends that way.

    My girls are about to finish kindergarten and PreK on Friday and I finally feel like this year that I have started to make real friends - ones that I would love to get together with sans the kids.

    My older DD started religious school on Sunday mornings and I started walking with other moms during school or going to the coffee shop down the street from Temple and hanging out.  I joined the Temple Sisterhood and got involved with planning an event.  At the elementary, I volunteered for different events, go to the PTO meetings and once I connected at a PTO meeting with a mom of a friend in my DD's class, I emailed her and asked if she wanted to go grab a coffee during a bday party.  Since that 1st coffee date in the fall, we have car pooled to parties and gone to lunch during parties a ton.  Our girls are also in girl scouts together so we have seen each other then.  I have done the same with other moms and just slowly, became friends past the kids.

    I am going with a friend from Temple to a wine tasting/art fair at a local winery in a few weeks.  Again, we met through our kids and just by spending time together at different things, have become friends. 

    It takes work and is not easy but it happens.  You need to put yourself out there by taking classes with others of the same age and then making that extra effort of making a playdate.

    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • We have groups here Called PEPS (Program for Early Parent Support), and it signs you up based on your child's age.  Also, DD and I do Gymboree Play and Learn classes. These are also based on the age of the child. It gets us out of the house, and wears the kiddo out. Plus, it gives me a reason to put on makeup in the morning.  Are there any meetup groups in your area?
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  • I'm 43 with a 15 year old and was wondering the same thing - this feels like starting all over again!  I figure even if there aren't other moms my age around, someone has to be raising grandchildren - lol.  Are there any "Grandparents raising Grandchildren" support groups near you?  They'd be in the same boat trying to remember how to do this process again - I'm surprised at how much has changed since the first time.

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