TTC after 35

Good Luck and Good bye

Wednesday ended up not being such a great a day, graduation was fine, dinner was good got home late went to the bathroom and there was blood. My period had come, no cramps, no warning, no nothing, 13 dpiui. I sobbed, DH and I held each other that night and grieved that we are not going to be parents. If you recall this was to be our last attempt.Thursday morning I woke up about 3 to pee and I decided to test in case there was just some random bleeding, it was negative. today it is truly a period, sadly since my lining was a 12 I expect a freakin flood.

My ttc career is over. I just can't believe after all that I wasn't pregnant I had so many follicles popping out I was doubled over...and nothing. I am devastated. DH agreed to try for a year, this is end of year 2, so its over, who everthought I wouldn't get pregnant? How is that evern possible, 24 months and no BFP? Especially when everything is ok, except i don't O regularly, so when I did O under the RE why didn't it work? Sorry I am just at loss, I am angry, I blame myself, I am confused, heartbroken, blame the RE, but in the end I need to begin to move on and recognize that I will be childless.

I wish each and everyone of the absolute best, i don't know how often I will pop in, I need some grieving time. Hugs and baby dust to you all!

image
My Ovulation Chart



Me: 41 DH: 46. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11,
3 cycles clomid with Ob,
1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob,
Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12
clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN
1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN.
2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid.
3/15/13 scheduled laparoscopy & on bcp.

May 10 IUI from injectibles - BFN 

May 22 done with interventions it will either happen or it won't. 

February 2014 No longer actively trying, but not preventing. 

 

Re: Good Luck and Good bye

  • Siggy warning.....

     

     

     

     

    Heather, I'm so sorry for you and your husband. I was really wishing and hoping that this would be it for you.

    I understand that you need to look after yourself, and have a lot to come to terms with, but would love to see you around when you feel up to it.

    Big hugs as you move forward, and wishing you peace on your journey. 

    image
    Elizabeth 3yrs old Jane 1yr old

  • I'm so very sorry, nothing about this is fair and I just want to wrap you in all the  ((((hugs)))) I can send your way!! My thoughts are truly with you. 


         

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
    Daughter from previous marriage: 20

    TTC #2 since August 2012
    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

    TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014

    TTCAL BLOG

    All ALers welcome!

  • MCH77MCH77
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    ((HUGS)) I am so sorry.

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

  • Im so sad for you :(   ((hugs))
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers image Me - 41 DH - 28 **** Proud mom to Christopher, dob 7/15/92 **** Nathaniel dob 1/18/05 -1/18/05 (8 mos) in heaven **** bfp 8/26/10 m/c 10/14/10 at 7 wks. **** D&C 10/15/10 **** Cycles 1-4 BFN's **** Cycle #5 - 100 mg Clomid **** IUI #1 - 04/23/11 and 4/24/11 - 5/8/11 IUI #1 = BFFN BFP 10/14/11 - EDD 6/22/12** Stick little one Stick! Athena Jane 5/31/12 - 8/28/12
  • Siggy warning

    I just want to say don't give up hope. I don't know your whole story but if they have found nothing it may just happen on your own. And if it doesn't go to the best RE around and that's their job to make it work. I have 9 friends with success including myself from RMA of NJ. One it took 13 years and she just had a son, shes 38. Medicine nowadays is amazing and if you find the top people they will help. Best of luck in whatever you choose.
  • I'm so sorry, Heather...
    Me: 42, DH: 43. We are so grateful to have a 2yr old daughter, conceived naturally after 3 miscarriages & no treatments (our Dr. gave us 1 more month to try on our own before advacing to IVF, & we conceived her naturally in January 2010)! Trying since April 2011 without sucess....MD said we were both "fine" & that if it wasn't happening, it was a chromosomal issue. Finally started Follistim 225mcg injections with an Ovidrel trigger November 2012. Bleeding 11 days post Ovidrel on November 25th. Starting the whole lab/Ultrasound/Follistim cycle again on November 27th...
  • Signature Warning

     

     

     

    Please don't blame yourself.  There is no blame.  You can drive yourself crazy trying to assign blame.  I am so sorry that this has happened to you and your husband.  It is so heartbreaking to know there are so many great would be parents who just don't get to realize their dreams. I understand how unfair, heartbreaking, and mentally and emotionally draining that IF can be. 

    I wish you and your husband peace and strength.  Please take care of yourself.

    ? TTC#1 since 2/10 ?

    DX: Me - Slight androgen PCOS Him: Mild MFI Official DX: Unexplained IF

    2/11 - 8/11 - 6 cycles Femara (5mg) + TI = BFNs

    2/12 - 5/12 - Femara(5mg) + IUI = BFNs

    6/12 and 8/12 - Femara (7.5mg) + IUI = BFN :( - considered IUI#3 and 4 by RE

    9/12 and 12/12 - Femara (7.5mg for 3 days) + Ovidrel + IUI = BFN

    After 8 unsuccessful IUIs and no explanation for IF, moving on to IVF Feb. 2013.

    image


    S/PAIFW appreciated
  • Heather,

    There are just no words to describe the feelings of sadness that I have for you.  This thing called IF is just so cruel....I know you have a lot going on and it is just not fair. But, please don't blame yourself....it is not your fault.  Please remember that.  I wish you much peace and serenity, as you move forward on your journey and try to figure this all out.  Take one day at a time and know that we are all here for you.  I will hope to get a post from you one day that reads.  Girls, I got an Oops, BFP!  :)  That is my wish for you.... Please know that you are always welcome here and you will be missed!  

    Sending you Many ((((((((((Hugs)))))))))!!!!!!!!

    Take care, my friend!  ;)

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive 15 to 80 day cycle tickers
  • I am truely sorry and I hope the decision bring you and your husband peace.  Many hugs!
  • Thank you everyone, I truly appreciate your words of comfort. IF sucks, I wish IVf could have been an option for us, but it isn't and truthfully I don't really know if I could do another round of injections, it was a bit traumatizing for me, all you ladies that have done several cycles, you are my heros!

    Talking to my acupuncturist today and he said well maybe now that you aren't trying, I agree it could happen but I also am trying not to hold onto that thought, because if it doesn't I will be disappointed each month as I have been...so I need to in my head make the decision we are done. Does that make sense?

    Good luck to all of you, may you not come to my fate. Wish you the best, I will stop in occasionally, just wont' be as consistant.

    image
    My Ovulation Chart



    Me: 41 DH: 46. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11,
    3 cycles clomid with Ob,
    1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob,
    Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12
    clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN
    1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN.
    2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid.
    3/15/13 scheduled laparoscopy & on bcp.

    May 10 IUI from injectibles - BFN 

    May 22 done with interventions it will either happen or it won't. 

    February 2014 No longer actively trying, but not preventing. 

     

  • Heather I am so so sorry. Hugs to you
    Heather
    image



    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image


  • image Jacque Sills:

    Heather,

    There are just no words to describe the feelings of sadness that I have for you.  This thing called IF is just so cruel....I know you have a lot going on and it is just not fair. But, please don't blame yourself....it is not your fault.  Please remember that.  I wish you much peace and serenity, as you move forward on your journey and try to figure this all out.  Take one day at a time and know that we are all here for you.  I will hope to get a post from you one day that reads.  Girls, I got an Oops, BFP!  :)  That is my wish for you.... Please know that you are always welcome here and you will be missed!  

    Sending you Many ((((((((((Hugs)))))))))!!!!!!!!

    Take care, my friend!  ;)

    All of this. Again...I am so very sorry. Take good care of yourself.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         image image 
         image   imageimage



  • jbellejbelle
    Long-Lasting Membership 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    I'm sorry. IF sucks. 

    AMA & SAIF. TTC #1 since Oct. 2010. DX: Unexplained. BFP on break after 32 months trying and 2 med cycles. Baby girl born at 40w0d!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Tickerimage

    jbelle

  • Heather, I am so sorry and so sad that you are going through this.  You are such an optimistic and positive force and it's so sad to see you reach this point.  I hope you find peace in whatever you decide and you and your husband are in my thoughts.
    Me: 37 DH: 37 TTC since Jan 2012. RE consult and initial testing done in Aug 2012: SA fine, AMH 1.1 & HSG clear - on way to IUI but got BFP on 9/10/2012. m/c 10/3/2012 at 6w5d. BFP next cycle which was a c/p. IUI #1: Clomid 100mg 12/6= BFN. IUI#2 (unmedicated) Jan 2013 = BFN. Hysteroscopy 1/25/13. IUI#3 Clomid 100mg 2/23 = BFN IUI# 4: BFN. IVF #1 April 2013, BFP!  EDD 1/12/14 with Boy!
  • ksgsmuksgsmu
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    member
    I am so sorry- I wish you the very best
    ***siggy/ticker warning***

    Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
    Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR,  DH: normal

     IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
    - poor responder
    ***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
    IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
    ER- We got 25 eggs!
    FET 5/20- BFP
    1st Beta- 641
    2nd beta- 2166
    Sono- TWINS!!!!
    Two Boys!


    All are welcome to post!





    image BabyFetus Ticker

  • I'm so sorry, and I wish this had gone differently for you. Wishing you peace as you move forward. <3
  • I am SO sorry Heather. Sometimes things happen when you least expect them but I can understand not wanting to hold on to that hope for fear of being disappointed again. It's very hard and I pray that you and your husband find peace, strength and happiness to move on. Sending lots of ((((HUGS))))!!
  • I haven't been on TB much lately & wanted to say how sorry I am that this last attempt did not work for you & your DH.  I know I posted to you on the other site, but this message just hit me so hard that I really feel so bad for you two & had to write you again....  Sending huge {{{hugs}}} your way!

    IF sucks!!!  I too have pretty much given up.  I still temp & chart and DH is still taking otc fertility pills - but if it doesn't happen naturally - then it won't ever happen.  Like you IVF is not an option we are going to take.  I am sure you feel like I do - the odds for us does not make sense when you think of the cost out of pocket since neither of us are covered.  Then you can still have a mc - that thought for me was crushing.  It is a hard decision to make & one I went back & forth on for a few weeks.

    I hope we both get our BFP on our own naturally - and soon!  If not, I know DH & I will be vacationing a lot LOL

    image
    My Ovulation Chart
    || Ovulation Calendar

    Me 42, DH 34 - TTC #1 since June 2012.
    9/12 3-day testing: TSH 3.76, T4 Free 1.1, LH 6.1, FSH 7.4, Prolactin 9.0, Estradiol 56. 12/12 HSG done & my tubes are clear!! 1/22/13 3-day testing: TSH 6.2, FSH 7.7, AMH 0.86, Estradiol 54, Prolactin 10.5. Thyroid almost doubled (hmmm), started Synthroid 2/4/13 and also 15,000 of Vit D 1/wk. 2/26/13 RE says I am in great shape, but DH has MFI - extremly low count along with morphology & motility issues. RE said IUI would be a waste, that IVF with ICSI is what he thinks we should do. Insurance does not cover IVF.... :(
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