February 2013 Moms

Quick MIL vent about BF

My MIL FF all her babies, which is completely fine with me, I have no issue with it.  Heck, she raised good babies, I married one of them for goodness sakes!! But I nurse completely on demand.   LO goes to daycare and keeps a good schedule of taking 4oz every 3 hours almost exactly, but at home she will nurse every 2-3 hours and maybe even snack in between if she is feeling extra feisty.  The point is, I am fine with it.  She sleeps well at night, my supply is great, she is gaining weight perfectly, and I love the time I get to nurse her because I spend so much time pumping when I am at work!  When my MIL comes to visit and LO cries for me, I always say "she is probable hungry.." and my MIL always says "well, it hasn't been three hours yet maybe we should try and hold her off."  It is a 5 minute passive aggressive fight before she finally hands DD over to me to nurse her.  It makes me so mad, she knows nothing about maintaining supply or nursing on demand, I want to scream at her!
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Re: Quick MIL vent about BF

  • Yeah, my MIL is the same in the fact that she knows nothing about BFing. We actually have the opposite fight. She's convinced that DS isn't eating enough so we need to give him formula, or better yet rice cereal. It so frustrating, I'm really going to blow her mind when I tell her that I'm going to skip rice cereal altogether. Or, gasp, I may even do BLW! She may poop her pants.
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  • Drea926Drea926
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    My mom is like that with sleeping. She doesn't understand sleep begets sleep and thinks that if he is awake longer he will sleep better at night. Agh! I think she's finally coming around but it's definitely frustrating when moms/mils don't get it!

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  • kitevkitev
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    This is my mom. E is like your LO and eats about every two hours and might snack inbetween. My mom is always telling me that it's time to start her on rice cereal because she shouldn't be eating so often. Thanks mom, but no. She threw a fit when I told her that I probably won't start solids until 9 months. I just told her that to shut her up. It didn't work. Lol.
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  • image kbates85:
    Yeah, my MIL is the same in the fact that she knows nothing about BFing. We actually have the opposite fight. She's convinced that DS isn't eating enough so we need to give him formula, or better yet rice cereal. It so frustrating, I'm really going to blow her mind when I tell her that I'm going to skip rice cereal altogether. Or, gasp, I may even do BLW! She may poop her pants.

    My mom was the exact same way, always badgering me about asking the pedi when we could add rice cereal to his bottles (which he hardly ever gets anyways, as I EBF on demand and he only gets a bottle of BM when I can't be with him).  At our 3-month checkup, I didn't even say anything about the rice cereal - the pedi brought it up and said not until six months because recent studies have shown giving solids too early may increase the risk of Celiac's disease.  That shut my mom up pretty fast.  LOL

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  • My mother is like this- she FF all three of her kids and we did great! But that means she offers ZERO support for BFing. My mother and I have a great relationship, so it was very hard for me to look to her for support-and get absolutely NONE. She kept offering to go buy formula, and every time I complained about sore nipples (V had a shallow latch that lasted almost 2 months-LOTS of cracking and bleeding), or awkward pumping sessions at work, she just told me I can stop breast feeding any time I want. Aaaarrrrrgggh. I think she feels like because I'm dead set on BFing, I may be judging her for FFing me- which I am NOT. Every mom does what's best for her and her children! That was best for her, this is what's best for us.
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  • image Drea926:
    My mom is like that with sleeping. She doesn't understand sleep begets sleep and thinks that if he is awake longer he will sleep better at night. Agh! I think she's finally coming around but it's definitely frustrating when moms/mils don't get it!

     This!  I was recently told that the reason for LO's poor sleeping habits is because I woke her up to eat every two hours when she was first born.  Oh and when she's screaming her head off b/c she's overtired it's really because my breast milk is not enough for her and I should give some formula or water. Thanks mom!

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  • ugh my MIL does stuff like that too! DD is FF, but every time MIL is here she makes comments about feeding her food!  When DD is hungry she gets a bottle, whenever she wants it. It doesn't mean that she needs food or that food will make her go longer in between bottles.  DD has always been in the high 80th percentile for weight and height so obviously she is eating and growing plenty!  I am actually considering holding off even longer than planned with food just to spite her!  She's only 4 months old.  Get of my back!  AHHHHH!

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  • That would be irritating.  I mean, even if you were FF and your baby was crying because she was hungry, wouldn't you want to feed her?  Babies go through growth spurts and may be extra hungry, needing to eat every 2 hours instead of 3.  It sounds cruel to "hold the baby off".  Does your MIL hold off an extra hour when she is hungry just for the heck of it?

    I'm sort of militant about my BFing, so when I get attitude from family about it I tend to get snotty and tell them what I think.  But it usually has to do more with people wanting me to wear a cover when I nurse and stuff like that.

        
  • image +adamwife+:

    That would be irritating.  I mean, even if you were FF and your baby was crying because she was hungry, wouldn't you want to feed her?  Babies go through growth spurts and may be extra hungry, needing to eat every 2 hours instead of 3.  It sounds cruel to "hold the baby off".  Does your MIL hold off an extra hour when she is hungry just for the heck of it?

    I'm sort of militant about my BFing, so when I get attitude from family about it I tend to get snotty and tell them what I think.  But it usually has to do more with people wanting me to wear a cover when I nurse and stuff like that.

    Yeah, no. I would have serious issues with someone telling me not to feed my hungry baby - especially if they were holding him and wouldn't hand him back to me. I might actually get a little mama bearish (whether necessary or not). 

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  • jbatchjbatch
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    My MIL did breast feed but she still won't give LO back when I say she hungry.. She will just sit and hold her not soothin her or anything just letting her cry which really pisses me off.. But I do plan on starting cereal around 4 months and she is completely against it.. But I honestly could care less what she thinks..


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  • nlp1990nlp1990
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    My baby is EBF and last night we had my grandparents over for dinner. My grandmother kept saying "oh look how he's watching you eat" and "I wish I could give you a taste of the apple sauce little guy". I told her that I wasn't staring solids until at least 6 months and I'm really hoping to hold off until 8 or 9 months and she said "well that's what we were going to do with you but you were just too hungry". Thanks nana, but I think I am doing a half decent job at this mother thing and if you give my baby food before he is ready we are going to have issues!!
  • FIL stuck a chocolate icecream cone in front of DD, looked at MIL, and said "stick some on your finger and let her try it."

    I almost died. I explained that she was, 1, way to young for anything but MY milk, 2, it's going to be a couple of years before a taste of chocolate icecream. Needless to say, they aren't watching DD for a very long time without me.
  • image eaogle:
    FIL stuck a chocolate icecream cone in front of DD, looked at MIL, and said "stick some on your finger and let her try it." I almost died. I explained that she was, 1, way to young for anything but MY milk, 2, it's going to be a couple of years before a taste of chocolate icecream. Needless to say, they aren't watching DD for a very long time without me.

    ohhh, if grandparents only knew what kind of holes they're digging for themselves. I would be pissed if my ILs did this too! ::tisk tisk:: 

                                                 
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