February 2013 Moms

More BF'ing issues (long)

DD is 4 months old today. We've haven't had as many problems as some people do with BF'ing, but it certainly hasn't been easy. I had major oversupply and overactive letdown for about the first 8 weeks. Then we struggled with getting her to take a bottle of BM; we did one bottle a day for weeks until she finally accepted it.

Now, our latest issue is that she's refusing to nurse at night. She had 3 bottles on Monday while I was working, and wouldn't nurse at all that whole evening. Tuesday she started to throw a fit but I somehow got her to nurse. Last night she refused again. The only thing I can think of is that she was already getting frustrated with the slower flow because of the natural regulation of supply that happens around 3 months, and when she got those bottles on Monday, that gave her the faster flow that she wanted. Now, when it gets towards late afternoon/evening and I naturally don't have as much milk as I do in the first part of the day, she gets mad when there's no immediate gratification.

At this point, I think I am going to continue to offer the breast every time and nurse her when she wants. But if she won't do it, I'll offer a bottle and won't stress about it. If I can pump and feel like doing it, I will. If not, whatever. I'm not against supplementing with formula if/when I run out of BM to give in a bottle. I'm tired of stressing over BF'ing issues and I don't want to have to pump every single evening (I don't know how you EP'ing ladies do it!). I've given her 4 months of exclusive breast milk and will continue to give it to her when she'll nurse.

This was more a vent than anything... I wasn't expecting to have all these issues with BF'ing and I'm sad that it's not working out the way I'd planned :( Thank you if you read this whole thing.

PCOS with long, irregular cycles
First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014

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Re: More BF'ing issues (long)

  • My SIL had this problem when she went back to work.  Her daughter wouldn't nurse because it wasn't as fast as the bottle she was getting used to.  SIL ended up having to EP (she must be a saint, because she did it for 14 months - I could never!!!). 

    I think your attitude sounds good about it.  I would do exactly what you said - just offer the breast at each feeding and if she won't take it, give a bottle.  The only other thing I can think of is trying to switch her to a slower flow nipple, but that would probably be really frustrating for both of you.

    Good luck!

        
  • image +adamwife+:

    My SIL had this problem when she went back to work.  Her daughter wouldn't nurse because it wasn't as fast as the bottle she was getting used to.  SIL ended up having to EP (she must be a saint, because she did it for 14 months - I could never!!!). 

    I think your attitude sounds good about it.  I would do exactly what you said - just offer the breast at each feeding and if she won't take it, give a bottle.  The only other thing I can think of is trying to switch her to a slower flow nipple, but that would probably be really frustrating for both of you.

    Good luck!

    Thanks :) We went from a slow flow nipple to medium flow at 2 months old, because we thought that was part of her issue with refusing a bottle- at that point, I still had OALD and we thought the slow flow nipple just wasn't cutting it with her. Now, I'm afraid it's gone the opposite way- she got used to the medium flow bottle nipple, and when I don't have an immediate letdown she won't nurse! I wish we had stuck with the slow flow nipple, since that didn't seem to be the problem with the bottle anyway (she still refused it for awhile even after switching). Hindsight is 20/20.

    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
    BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014

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  • One thing you might try to get her to nurse is standing and walking or bouncing while nursing. My DD decided after one particularly long week of me working and many bottles that she forgot how to nurse at night. She would scream and fuss and not latch on for more than 1 second and pull away. I finally tried calming her down by bouncing and walking and then offered the breast and she took it. This lasted for about 2 or 3 days and then she was back to normal. I really thought that it was going to be the end of nursing for us but she came back around and then the only way to get her to sleep for a week was to nurse her. Good luck, and I hope it is just a phase that will pass if you want to continue nursing!
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  • No advice, but I think you have a great attitude. Sorry it's been a rough road.
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    BFP #1: 12.30.11, MC 1.6.12 at 5w; BFP #2: 5.25.12, DS born 2.1.13; BFP #3: 9.4.14, MMC 10.13.14 at 9w
  • DD1 refused to nurse after I went back to work too.  She would still nurse first thing in the morning until she was about 6 months, but after that she stopped completely.  I EP'd and it is hard.  I'm going back to work next week and if this baby won't nurse I don't think I can EP this time.  I don't know how I would take care or 2 babies and pump.
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  • image smile55k:
    One thing you might try to get her to nurse is standing and walking or bouncing while nursing. My DD decided after one particularly long week of me working and many bottles that she forgot how to nurse at night. She would scream and fuss and not latch on for more than 1 second and pull away. I finally tried calming her down by bouncing and walking and then offered the breast and she took it. This lasted for about 2 or 3 days and then she was back to normal. I really thought that it was going to be the end of nursing for us but she came back around and then the only way to get her to sleep for a week was to nurse her. Good luck, and I hope it is just a phase that will pass if you want to continue nursing!


    The exact same thing happened to me last night! Same soliution to walking around, and I actually offered the breast while still walking around, this kept her calm enough to stay latched more than a second or two. Once the milk started flowing, she was happy as a clam and I was able to sit down and relax!

    And just like OP, I had oversupply and OALD that didn't regulate until a couple of weeks ago, and I've only had issues with DD being impatient in the evening, so I definitely recommend trying to walk around with LO for a bit before or while trying to nurse. There a good chance it may work. If not, do what you need to do to make sure both you an baby are happy! You've done a great thing EBFing this long, and if you need to supplement sometimes for the sake of your sanity, there is no shame in that!


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  • I'm so sorry this is not going how you planned. Dd did this to me my first week of work and it would literally take 20 minutes to get a letdown because she would pull off and scream. We woukd have the same fight everynight and I would try and relax enough but her screaming made it hard. Luckily she finally went back to nursing so I am very fortunate but I know how stressful it was for both of us. I think your plan sounds great. 4 months is a long time and she got great benefits from that time! Do what you need to do so that you can enjoy your time with you LO especially now that you are working again it is okay if you don't want to spend that precious time fighting her atthe breast or pumping.
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  • jcar2jcar2
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    I've been having problems with DS this week with refusing to nurse and I've been back for 6 weeks. He'll latch on and start to nurse and after 1015 minutes, get mad and refuse to continue. I have found that side lying to nurse helps tremendously. Perhaps you could try this? Also check with daycare on how he's being fed his bottle. There is a different way to feed a breastfed baby than a formula baby. You have to make it harder for the breastfed. Check out kellymom. I believe she has something you can print off and give to your daycare to show them how to feed if they don't know how. I've been having issues with this at DS' daycare.
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  • Drea926Drea926
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    image Sterling13:
    No advice, but I think you have a great attitude. Sorry it's been a rough road.

    This! Hang in there Mama! I'm sure everything will work out for the both of you one way or another. :-) 

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  • I'm sorry you are going through this, but your attitude about it is great!  I remember when you were going to stop BFing all together and then stuck with it, and I think that's awesome.  You've gone through a lot! 

    I am fearful that the same thing will happen when I am gone in July.  More so that our BFing relationship will be over before I want it to be.  I hope things work out for you and that maybe one of the suggestions you have received will help!

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  • Thank you so much for the kind words and encouragement, ladies. It really means a lot :)
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 
    BFP #2 in January 2014, DS born September 2014

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