Short story: don't expect a baby until June.
Long story: I went to my appt yesterday pretty much expecting the MW to tell me I had made less progress than what the MW last week said. I don't like this particular MW; she can't seem to locate my pubic bone and is always off on my fundal height. I was right. She had me closed and posterior and only fifty percent effaced, whereas last week the MW had me a fingertip, eighty percent and anterior.
I had prepared myself for this news so I wasn't entirely disappointed, although I'm a little frustrated that I've actually been having contractions and they've done nothing. She told me about the NST and AFI I have to do next week, then asked if I had any questions, so I asked when we were going to talk induction.
Instead of giving me a simple "41.5 weeks" answer, she launched into a lecture about how they don't like inductions, it's a setup for caesarean, I'm not a good candidate do they want to buy as much time as they can so they don't want to discuss it until almost 42 weeks. I was seriously so offended by how presumptuous she was. I'm still pissed, honestly. I said I had been considering 41w 2d, which is almost 41.5. She said if I REALLY felt like I couldn't go longer than 2d I could request it next week. AKA, bring it up and we'll try to guilt you out of it. She left me with that lovely "but you could go into labor tonight hehehe" comment.
So I left feeling like a jerk. Not only does my body think going into labor naturally is stupid, my provider thinks I'm the devil for accepting that fact so readily.
I don't mind going over. Not the problem. I am dreading two weeks of every person I know checking in on me, asking if I feel different, if today is the day. I am mourning the fact that I wasted a lot of hope the last week thinking I was progressing and time spent "taking it easy." I am upset my mom is going to miss seeing her brand new grandchild because she thought planning a vacation the week I would most likely be induced was a fine plan, mostly because she is acting like its my fault or the baby's fault that it isn't here yet, and that the doctors are wrong and the baby could come any time.
I don't need anyone's words of encouragement, anyone telling me to be patient or that babies come on their own time. I don't need jokes about the baby being grounded the second it comes out or tips on OWT to try. I am not doing anything different these next two weeks other than act like a normal human being. I woke up this morning and didn't even feel pregnant. I think I'll manage.
None of that rant was directed at you ladies. I just needed to get it out to the universe at large. Thank you guys for your support and interest in baby burkems even though I flake out of here once in awhile. Love you!!