August 2011 Moms

Bad parenting, understandable, or both?

There have been more mornings than I can count when DD1 has been late, and exactly three days she has missed school altogether because I couldn't drag my out of bed. Either I sleep through my alarm or I snooze it too many times. Before, it was the anemia that had me dragging azz all the time. Now it's the sleepless nights. Mom is constantly up my butt about how cruel and unfair I'm being by being so lethargic and making DD1 late. But with no help, um, ever I don't really think it's that unthinkable that mornings are a bust more often than not and I don't really sweat it right now. Hell, remember my fondest memories of my mom? They were of the crazed drives to school every morning because we were late, because she was a single mom doing it all herself. WDYT?

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Re: Bad parenting, understandable, or both?

  • You should tell your mom, "Well, since I am doing this three kid thing with zero assistance, I was thinking of takng ex-mil up on her offer and having her come over in the mornings before work to get the kids situated." 

     

    Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. Hopefully over summer you can get a bit more rest and feel refreshed for the new school year. As long as your daughter's grades aren't suffering I think it will be OK for two more weeks. 

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  • S-TunaS-Tuna
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    Your mom's ability to criticize and be completely unhelpful is astounding. I wish she would just say, "hey let me help you, what can I do?".
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  • You're not a bad parent.  Heck, I can barely get myself and DD out the door on time, not sure what I'll do when I have to get 2 kids ready.

    That being said, while the lateness may not be a huge issue now, it may become one as she gets older.  If her school is anything like here than those lates are recorded on the attendance roster and will be marked down on her report card.  This may (or may not) depending how the school works, affect things like awards consideration, school trips, etc.  

    Like Mrs. Case said, hopefully with summer soon approaching you'll catch the break you need and can start fresh and organized for the new school year.  I personally don't think mornings will ever be easy for me and I would expect they'll always be chaotic for you too.  That's the breaks though, we've just got to do our best to get out the door on time. 

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  • image kjgilhoo:

    You're not a bad parent.  Heck, I can barely get myself and DD out the door on time, not sure what I'll do when I have to get 2 kids ready.

    This is exactly what I was thinking when I read your thread.

    School's almost out, right?  Hang in there to get through these last weeks.  Your life is crazy right now, there's just no changing that.  Keep in mind that, come fall, you'll be in a much better place to adhere to a school schedule.  The little guy and you should both be getting more regular sleep by then.  You'll figure it out!  In the meantime, I'm sorry you're struggling, and that your mom is not being more helpful :(

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  • Yeah, the main reason I'm not sweating it now is because for Kindergarteners they pretty much let them be, but I'd wager that starting with 1st grade is the status quo for actually keeping track of tardies and having consequences for excessive ones as such.

    I really am banking on the summer to hit the reset button. Plus, Man Friend is moving back midsummer and plans on being around a lot to help, bless him. I see a much less chaotic future ahead, though I agree that mornings will never be easy for us, lol.

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  • You're not a bad mom, you're an overwhelmed mom. I agree, use the summer to get refreshed and relax and hope for a more successful school year.

    As for your mom, she's just not going to support you so I'd cut my losses and just ignore her as best I could.
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  • image shanado:
    You're not a bad mom, you're an overwhelmed mom. I agree, use the summer to get refreshed and relax and hope for a more successful school year. As for your mom, she's just not going to support you so I'd cut my losses and just ignore her as best I could.

    Yep. It's kindergarten and you're stretched too thin. It's not like it's Jr high and you're too hung over you know? 

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