3rd Trimester

Is your DH/partner/YOU a medical resident?

I am about to f-ing lose it with DH's schedule. I know it's not his fault he's so busy, I know he would rather be home, but I am about to lose my sh&! between his work schedule, my work schedule, DD, our to-do list, my already filthy house, and we're about to have a second baby. Money is so, so tight, so we can't get a maid or someone to help with the house, we have no family where we are (lots of good friends, but they all have kids/busy lives, too), and I'm serious, I have no control over my emotions. When I was pregnant with DD I do not remember having the serious mood swings I am having. Last night I cried for an hour because I can't do laundry (we live in a historic home, and I actually cannot FIT in the laundry room). Anyways, I am just venting, but if you can commiserate or offer advice, I would appreciate it. 
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Re: Is your DH/partner/YOU a medical resident?

  • I'm a FTM so I'm not sure what it's like to be pregnant and run after a LO as well.  I do live in an older home though, but I fit in my laundry room, thank goodness!  My fiances schedule during this time of year is crazy so I understand you there and my house is never as clean as I'd like it to be.  Hang in there, it'll all be over before you know it. 

    I'm assuming your or your DH is a medical resident?  Just think, it'll all pay off sooner than later and you'll look back at this point in your life and just smirk:)

  • I'm not a resident anymore, but I was once and I feel your pain.  DH and I were both residents when we had DD1 and it was very difficult and I thought I was going to lose my mind most days.  We were lucky enough to have family around so that helped some.  Just try to tell yourself this is all only temporary!  Take it day by day.  Try to get out and do something for yourself - even if it is something small.  I know it doesn't seem like it but this will be a blip on the radar in a few years :) 
  • I have no fantastic advice, other than I have to keep reminding myself that in the grand scheme, my dirty house is not the end of the world. I also allow myself a hissy fit every so often, with apologies afterward, haha. My DH travels, and has been out of state 8 of the last 10 days. I get some help one or two days a week, and DS goes to daycare part time, but we're deep into potty training, my house is filthy, and I'm on modified bedrest... clearly overdoing it :p Sometimes I think I might lose my mind between the 50 potty trips a day, multiple tantrums, and filthy bathrooms, but then I remind myself how lucky I am to be at home and for my LO to still be doing good. With DS I would have spent the last month in the hospital, and delivered him yesterday. I also read posts from moms that are single, or have SOs in the military, or just much bigger difficulties than me or health problems, etc, and I gain perspective. So ultimately, life is good, it's just easy to forget sometimes. Hope life settles down for you, that you can get some rest, and that your day and week improve. And vent away! Hang in there momma, and you're not alone!

     ETA reading this now from kindle,  mobile earlier and couldn't see the resident part. Assumed it was about travel, sorry! FWIW I worked ER rotating days and nights with DS, and it stunk. Good luck and hang in there!  

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  • DH is a surgical resident and I am a veterinarian. Between our schedules things are already so crazy I honestly worry about how much time our baby will actually have with either of us. DH's schedule is obviously worse than mine and I know there will be days where he won't even  get to see her.

    I am dreading having to do all the house work, cooking, and caring for a baby every weeknight without him.

    I guess I do not have any words of wisdom or anything obviously. Just wanted to join in the vent with you!> GL 

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  • Give your husband 1 small task or chore to do per day when he gets home from the hospital. For example - do 1 load of laundry or load/unload the dishwasher. He is understandably exhausted, stressed out and hungry when he gets home, so tackling a long list of things can be too daunting. I have found that I could muster the energy to do 1 small thing each night or post-call.
  • I feel your pain......when my son was born my daughter was 23 months and my husband was in his hsrdest 6 months of university......we went days without seeing each other because of schedules......I know easier said than done, but try not to beat yourself up, you can only do what you can do........and honestly, nobody cares about your messy house, and even if they did have the balls to say anything, uou just hand them a broom or tell them to do a load of laundry.......

    Karen - 36      DH - 39

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