April 2013 Moms

Anyone else scared to go out alone?

DH has been back to work for over 3 weeks now.  I've only been out with him on the weekends for necessary shopping (groceries, etc).   I'm itching to get out, thinking about the mall but then I get all nervous.  

What if she melts down, where will I go to BF, etc.  I realize these are dumb concerns but I get super nervous even with DH with me, but I eventually have to get over this or I will go stir crazy in the house all day every day.

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Re: Anyone else scared to go out alone?

  • I'm scared to go out, but that's because I also have a two year old who requires a ton of attention right now. Check your mall though. Lots of them have family areas that have nursing rooms and diaper changing areas. I wouldn't hesitate with just the baby. Good luck!!
  • I bring something to cover up with blanket, shawl, nursing cover and BF in the food court or on a bench if I'm at a mall. If someone finds that offensive they can kiss my a.
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  • Go out! I promise it's not as hard as it seems and it will keep you sane.

    If you go to the mall check out the department store ladies rooms, a couple around here have lounges attached to them with dim lights and comfy chairs. The one at my Macy's has a mothers lounge with the most amazing changing station and couches with footrests and soft music, its awesome.

    If baby has a meltdown you can always head home or do a drive around the parking lot to help her sooth.

    It's scary at first but very liberating, give it a shot and see how it goes.  

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  • It IS scary but you really just have to do it and eventually it gets easier.  I'm nervous every time and at least half of the time one of them has a meltdown, but you just do what you have to do deal with it in the moment.  You can always nurse in a fitting room in a clothing store, quiet and private.  You don't even have to pretend you're trying on clothes, just tell the attendant you need to nurse your baby.  If they give you crap about it, sue them ;) 
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  • rcantorrcantor
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    image tairairat:
    I bring something to cover up with blanket, shawl, nursing cover and BF in the food court or on a bench if I'm at a mall. If someone finds that offensive they can kiss my a.

    Same. Except I've gotten comfortable enough to not even cover up. Once you've BFd in public once or twice, it becomes easier. And if there's a meltdown, you leave. Left a cart full of stuff at Target because of a meltdown.
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  • Our Dr suggested no trips to places like the mall or grocery store until after he's been immunized. So until then we just go on walks or go places outside where he's not in contact w a ton of people. I plan on hitting up some garage sales this week. And like pp said, get a nursing cover. I tried recently for the first time w just a blanket and half the people in the park saw my boob... I have a fancy nursing cover now that won't fall off and I feel much more confident!! Like I could go anywhere nurse!
  • Babies usually just pass out when in the stroller, so you may get lucky and your baby might just sleep the whole time. If baby gets fussy, all you have to do is leave. It'll be just fine
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  • I've also nursed in a changing room before. But ditto pp about the department store lounges/restroom areas. In our mall Penneys has a very nice couch in their area that would be perfect for bfing. 

    And really, the worst that happens is the baby melts down, and you go to the car to feed him/her. Last week we had a couple of epic meltdowns at the doctor's office and the grocery store, and you know, I got more smiles and people saying "oh, I remember that stage, don't worry, you are doing great!!" as I wrangled the screaming newborn and attention seeking toddler through the check out than anything else!  

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  • I went out alone with DS at 1 week and 4 days. I would have killed myself if I hadn't. It's not that bad. Just have a game plan before you leave and if you are super scared make it a short trip (i.e. Starbucks or Target).

    If and when DS freaks out and needs to eat I just feed him in the car. 

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  • I'm nervous too and I bottle feed. I'm nervous about the unexpected meltdown in the middle of the store. But like others said, I could just leave. When I've gone out alone with LO it's just been on walks in the neighborhood right after a feeding, but even going out with DH I get nervous. We've only had to feed her once on the way home from an appointment, and DH sat with her in the back and fed her while I drove. Next step is for me to go out with her during a feeding time. I'm sure after we do it once, it will no longer be a big deal.
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  • Go!  You will feel so much better for getting out around people!  We are going to the mall as soon as I finish bf, mama wants a slice of pizza and to browse the shoe department  ;) 

    after nursing, I expect she will fall asleep in the car on the way there, and stay sleeping while we stroll around. That gives me a good 2 hours, and if I want to stay longer, I'll nurse in either a ladies lounge or fitting room. No big deal!  And if she gets fussy in the stroller, I bring the pacifier, or we can sit on a bench somewhere for a little while for me to hold her.  Have fun! 

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  • I did it for the first time yesterday! Went to the mall to look for jeans, nursed him in the woman's lounge at Nordstrom when he woke up hungry. It went great and was very empowering and confidence building. Give it a try!
  • KrisM86KrisM86
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    image hazelfrank:
    I'm scared to go out, but that's because I also have a two year old who requires a ton of attention right now. Check your mall though. Lots of them have family areas that have nursing rooms and diaper changing areas. I wouldn't hesitate with just the baby. Good luck!!

    This, except my older DD is 19 months old.  

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  • KrisM86KrisM86
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    image hazelfrank:
    I'm scared to go out, but that's because I also have a two year old who requires a ton of attention right now. Check your mall though. Lots of them have family areas that have nursing rooms and diaper changing areas. I wouldn't hesitate with just the baby. Good luck!!

    This, except my older DD is 19 months old.  

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  • Definitely go out!  Some of my favourite times with LO so far have been outings where it is just the two of us.  She loves her stroller and the car, and usually falls asleep right away.  We've been to the mall and Target, Chapters, lunch with a co-worker, the doctor and I took her to work for an hour so everyone could meet her.  It was totally fine!  I've nursed her in public twice, using a nursing cover.  I figure if I'm using a cover, I should be able to nurse wherever, and if she has a meltdown, I can always head back home asap. 
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  • We got out somewhere almost everyday! I would go crazy just sitting in the house all day everyday. Initially I was scared but after our first outing, I'm much more confident. It helps that she loves her carseat and car rides and I also make sure to feed her just before we leave the house. 

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  • Get out!!! I promise it will be fine! I didn't even realize this for a long time, but our shopping mall Has a special nursing room for moms. Yours might too, so look into it. Also, if you have to, you can always run back out to your car and feed the baby in the car wearing a nursing cover. I've done this several times. I take little one out all the time by myself. I just snap his car seat into the snap and go, and it's easy to take him wherever. DS has never cried in public... I used to be really afraid he would, but even when he's awake he always seemed interested. Plus he likes being in the stroller, and it often puts him to sleep. Even if LO does start to cry, who cares? Babies cry, it's not a big deal. You can always leave if you have to. Maybe start with a quick errand just to reassure yourself that you can do it, and try the mall once you are more confident... But definitely get out of the house!!!
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  • My LO will be 6 weeks old and I have yet to go anywhere alone with him. which is really weird because I have 3 older kids who I used to have no choice but to take with me everywhere all the time alone. Me and a 10yr old 3 yr old and newborn at one point. Yet here I sit with my little man and cant seem to make myself go anywhere with him alone. I also have a horrible time running errands as just me. I went food shopping last week and he was home with FI and I was half way through the store and started to cry. So I feel ya.
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  • Kate_CKate_C
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    I had the same fear with my first and basically never left the house. This time we've frequently run errands during the day. I love grocery shopping on a weekday morning. It is so much easier now when they are still in the infant seat and sleep most of the time, so take advantage of it!
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  • Yup, haven't done it yet. Have done so many with the three of us I couldn't count but not alone. I just had my pp appt today though so technically now I'm allowed to lift his carseat.......can't use that excuse anymore. 
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  • I've been venturing out more and more lately and it's been so nice for my (and my almost 2 year old's) sanity. The more you nurse in public, the easier it gets! And having a cover or blanket may make you feel more comfortable. ftr, I've never even seen do much as a strange glance when doing it but if people get offended, they can suck it. 
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  • NDaryaNDarya
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    My LO is 3 weeks and we were out a couple of times but every time together with DH. I'm nervous to go out on my own although I realise I should start sooner rather than later. 
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  • You can do it! I usually make sure I feed him before we leave and so far I've only had NIP once and we've gone on lots of lunch dates and shopping trips. He's only had melt downs on the way home. I actually pulled over and fed him (and changed his diaper and clothes) on the side of the road the other day. It was kind of funny, but NBD.
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