Infertility

FB Announcement, Now I'm Jacked.

Someone on my fb posted an ultrasound picture and announced she was pregnant. I am very happy for her, actually, but now I feel effed up about myself. Why does IF have to be so cruel? I just wanna cry right now. I don't know why I have allowed this to hurt me. I just feel empty, and like all the progress I've made emotionally and mentally are clinging on the precipice of disaster and undoing. Ok vent over. I'll consult my pillow with the tears about to fall.
Me: 32, PCOS (insulin resistance) TTC since 05/11. DH: 32 Great SA after multivitamins and diet improvements. 6/25/12 IUI #1 cancelled. IVF #1 w/ICSI on 8/23/12 CANCELLED due to ovulation. IVF #1.2 BFN 11/6/12. 3 snowbabies. FET #1 12/20/12. Beta 12/31/12-BFFN. FET #2 6/12/13, transferred 2 1A embryos HPT on 6/19/13 = BFP! @ 7dp5dt. 6/24/13 Beta 1=659! 6/26/13 Beta 2=1802 6/28/13 Beta 3=2962 P4=14, Will continue progesterone support. U/S on 7/3 revealed TWINS! Premature labor on 10/22. On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Re: FB Announcement, Now I'm Jacked.

  • MJ14323MJ14323
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    I just wanted to say I'm sorry and that we've all been there. Hope it gets better.

    TTC since Nov 2010 | Me: 29, DH: 30 | SA & HSG Normal
    IF Treatment started December 2011
    Late DX DOR after 10 months of treatment | AMH-.23, FSH-11.1
    Stag II Endo removed in July 2012
    5 Rounds of Clomid(50-150mg), TI & IUI#1 = BFNs
    3 Rounds of Femara(5mg) & Prog, TI, IUI#2, IUI#3 = BFNs
    IVF #1 | 9R, 4M, 2F w/ ICSI...looking to do PGS testing...Stopped dividing at day 3.
    Retested AMH, dropped to undetectable at <.16.
    Moved to CCRM. Retested AMH up at .3.
    IVF #2 - 5R, 2M, 2 additional matured overnight, 2F...2 frozen day 3 embies (7cell, 10% frag, 4cell 15% frag)
    FET #1 - Transferred both day 3 embies....BFN
    IVF #3 - June 2014
    **Currently Gluten Free and doing Acupuncture**
    Everyone Welcome
    My Blog

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  • It sucks. There's no ifs, ands or buts about it. It's not easy but I am trying particularly hard since my loss to remember that the happiness and pregnancy successes of others does not stop my own...or something along those lines. I had a few glasses of wine tonight. 

     

    (((hugs)))) though...it's not easy. 

    Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
    IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
    TWINS!
    15w4d:baby a-pProm
    March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
    July 29: FET-BFN

    Sept: TAC placed

    Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen

    Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
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  • kjf114kjf114
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    Many times been there :0 I'm sorry dear!! Sending love

      us      dogs

    Me: 28, DH: 30 TTC since March 2012
    PCO & MTHFR Homozygous/Severe MFI (undescended teste & double hernia as baby)

    12/12: 50mg clomid= bfn
    1/13: 100mg clomid= bfn
    2/13: 100mg clomid= bfn 
    6/13: IVF/ICSI (x1 4AA)=BFFN ~49R, 44M, 33F, 14 frosties  OHSS
    8/13: FET #1 (x1 4AA)=First EVER BFP 4dp5dt!! d&c @ 6.5 wks, blighted ovum

    10/13: FET #2 (x2 4AA)= BFP 4dp5dt! Twins!!, perfect u/s then spontaneous m/c @ 5 wks
    11/13= RPL/Karotyping= MTHFR Homozygous c667t
    1/14= FET #3 our 2 year anniversary & hopefully our miracle

    2 Image and video hosting by TinyPic 

      pumpimage

  • I am sorry. This road is far too bumpy and I know how you feel! Stay strong.
  • I had to face a pregnancy announcement yesterday, too, so I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there... {{hugs}}
    TTC #1 since March 2011
    Dx = Unexplained IF
    Cycle #28 IVF
    6/18/13 Beta #1 @ 10dp5dt = 174!!! Beta #2 @ 12dp5dt= 391!!! I'm finally KU!!! EDD 2/24/2014
    Our little man was born 2/18/14! Welcome to the world!

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • RoeniRoeni
    250 Answers 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its
    member
    I've been feeling like this alot lately, too.

    image
    IVF #1 Jan 1, 2013-Bravelle (150) and Menopur (75)
    Jan 15 Trigger shot, Jan 17 ER, Jan 22 5 day transfer (2 embryos) Feb 1st-3rd + HPT Feb 8th-Beta 1: 2013! Feb 11th-Beta 2: 3100 Feb 15th Beta 3: >5000! Faint heartbeat seen at 5 weeks 4 days! 3/7/13 U/S missed m/c at 8 weeks.

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    FET June 20, 2013 Beta #1@13dpt July 3: 2,476!! 1st U/S 7/9/13 revealed 2 sacs w/ yolks @ 5w3d! U/S #2 July 16 shows 2 heartbeats baby a 111 baby b 117! July 23 U/S-baby a 163 baby b 134 July 25 U/S baby b does not have a heart beat anymore :( 
    Due March 7th, 2014 TEAM BLUE!
    Baby boy was born 3/5/2014!
  • Oh i am so very sorry. I personally find it very inappropriate to post an US pic in fb and it kills me when I see those. We are always here to vent to.
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    **Siggy/Ticker Warning**

    TTC since March 2010

    Me 27 DH 29
    Dx annovulation & low morphology
    IVF # 1 April 2013 cancelled due to early ovulation
    IVF #1.2~ 31R/28M/24F Transferred 1-3bb & 1-4bb blast June 2013 = BFN
    FET #1 transferred 1-5bb blast September 2013 = BFFN
    FET #2 3 day transfer 3 8 cell grade 1-2, 1 5 cell, November 2013= BFP!!!!!
    5 Frosties- 2 blasts, 3 2PNs
    Beta # 1 12/8 = 122 & Beta # 2 12/10 = 302 Beta # 3 12/19 5100
    1st u/s 12/19 = 1 bean! 
    2nd u/s 12/28 = hr 146bpm
    3rd u/s 1/3 = hr 180bpm 
    Baby boy EDD August 17, 2014!
  • Doesn't that suck?!?!  I stepped away from FB a few months ago due to all the baby announcements & pictures.  I will say that it has helped.  I hopped on a few weeks ago just to check something & saw a baby announcement for friends who just got married last summer, and it reminded me to stay away from FB.  It can just be so painful (even if I am happy that EVERYONE else is not having any IF problems).

    My TTC Journey:
    Dx: Hypothalamic amenorrhea / mild PCOS (Pretty much a hormone/ovulatory disorder)
    Progesterone to induce period w/ the goal of Clomid - never got period (September 2011). Referred to RE.
    Femera - never responded to the meds (December 2011)
    Clomid with TI - BFN (February 2012)
    Injectables (Menopur) - hyperstimulated/canceled (March 2012)
    Injectables #2 (Menopur) with TI- BFN (May 2012)
    IVF - OHSS (transfer canceled), but 11 frozen! (June 1012)
    FET - 1 transferred on 8/09/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 350.3; Beta#2: 365; Beta#3: 157. Biochemical pregnancy.
    FET # 2 - 1 transferred on 11/01/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 337; Beta#2: 769. BFP!!! 1st ultrasound 11/28/12 showed heartbeat, but measuring 5 days behind. 2nd ultrasound 12/05/12 - miscarriage.
    FET # 3 - 1 transferred on 1/24/13. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): BFN.
    FET # 4 - 2 transferred on 3/21/13.  Bet #1 (11dp5dt): 660; Beta#2: 1,300.  Miscarried at home @ 6 weeks.

    FET # 5 - 2 transferred on 7/12/13.  Beta #1 (10dp6dt): BFN.
    Attempted an IUI in late August 2013, but didn't respond well.
    IVF #2 with PGS - Stims started 10/28 with retrieval on 11/11.  Of 14 mature eggs, 10 fertilized, 4 made it to Day 5 & 1 made it to Day 6. We did PGS on the Day 5 embryos, and 3 of 4 were normal. Had ET on 11/17. Beta #1 (8dp6dt): 203. Beta #2 (10dp6dt): 618. We since had two ultrasounds & on 12/19, our RE released us to the OB.  On 1/02/14, we had our first ultrasound with the OB where we heard the heartbeat.  We are so thankful for the blessing & crossing every finger & toe for a healthy & successful pregnancy.

    photo JuneBugs_IFbump.jpg image image

    http://i49.tinypic.com/v430oh.jpg image

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  • I feel like people are announcing it every other day!! That is one reason why I got off face book for Lent. It was an amazing feeling and almost wish I would have stayed off. I was so calm about everything and didn't want to cry when I saw the announcements and pictures. I'm debating on getting off again.
  • DITTO

     

    IF just sucks, and is cruel and encompassing and isolating.

     

     

    Me: 36, TTC since 2010 Met with an RE Dec 2012 Diagnosis: DOR (with high FSH) Jan-Feb 2013; IUI + Clomid, BFN March 2013; Cycle break since Clomid thinned my lining April 2013; waiting for AF to start injectables (plan = IUI) Plan for Summer 2013; Considering DE
  • Thanks for the support, all. I don't wish this journey for anyone, and it definitely isn't for the faint of heart. We should give each other props for traversing such a daunting and seemingly impossible path, and doing so with strength and grace. I hope with all hope that we all get our sticky babies sooner than later! I suck at patience.
    Me: 32, PCOS (insulin resistance) TTC since 05/11. DH: 32 Great SA after multivitamins and diet improvements. 6/25/12 IUI #1 cancelled. IVF #1 w/ICSI on 8/23/12 CANCELLED due to ovulation. IVF #1.2 BFN 11/6/12. 3 snowbabies. FET #1 12/20/12. Beta 12/31/12-BFFN. FET #2 6/12/13, transferred 2 1A embryos HPT on 6/19/13 = BFP! @ 7dp5dt. 6/24/13 Beta 1=659! 6/26/13 Beta 2=1802 6/28/13 Beta 3=2962 P4=14, Will continue progesterone support. U/S on 7/3 revealed TWINS! Premature labor on 10/22. On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image
  • rlk2rlk2
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    I just posted something similar in the April Shower's check-in.  I totally understand.  IF is so UNFAIR!!!  I'm here crying right there with ya!  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  hang in there girl!  We are given this life because we are strong enough to live it!  Not many people would be able to deal with all this crap!  okay, my vent over tooWink
    TTC 2 years- Me and DH (28) with (severely) low sperm count- less than 40 total (last 2 SA showed only 5 and 6 sperm each)
    IVF #1: ER 1/23/13- 4 eggs retrieved, 3 eggs fertilized; ET with 1 embryo 1/28/13 2 frosties beta #1 2/5 was 4.8- beta #2 2/7 3.5; BFN
    FET #1- transferred one beautiful 4AA embie. Praying this is my take home baby. Beta 5/7/13- BFFN!!!
    IVF #2: ER 7/17/13: 6R/3F- transferred 1 blast and 1 10 cell embryo 5dt.   Beta hell.  #1 2.5, #2 2.2- BFFFN! REALLY?
    IVF #3: ER 12/1 and only 2 retrieved.  1 fertilized with ICSI.  Was planning on transferring one fresh and one frozen....fresh was only 14 cells at day 5...CANCELLED and devastated due to 5cm blood filled cyst in ovary and blood in uterus.
    IVF #4: Antagonist protocol with endometrial scratch day one of stims.  ER 4/21: 6R/4M/3F- transferred 2 beautiful blasts (5dt) and one was hatching!  No frosties but hoping we won't need it!  Beta 5/4/14- 444(8dp5dt), Beta #2 10dp5dt 1002!  THIS HAS GOT TO BE IT!!!!!!!!!!  First US 5/15 we saw two of the most beautiful gestational and yolk sacs I have ever seen!  
    ****FINALLY PREGNANT WITH DI/DI TWINS!!!!!!!  due January 12, 2015!****
     imagehttp://i62.tinypic.com/2dl9ap0.jpgpghttp://oi61.tinypic.com/o7t1y0.jpg

  • So sorry.  Mother's day on FB killed me.  There was even a Mother's Day FB preg announcement...shoot me.  Today there was a gender announcement.  I'm considering deleting FB.  Hang in there.  
    ***SIGGY WARNING***

    DX: Unexplained
    6 Failed IUIs (Clomid and Gonal F).  
    IVF #1 began August 2013- BC, 4 days of Estrace, stimmed with Gonal F and Menopur, Ganirelix, 9R 5M 5F, Medrol and Doxycycline, 5 day transfer of 2 early blastocysts- good quality, Progesterone, Estrace, and baby aspirin, BETA on 9/20 BFN,   IVF #2 began September 2013, stimming with Gonal F (higher dose) and Menopur, Ganirelix, 18R 14M 9F with ICSI, 5 day transfer of 2 BBs one was starting to hatch, 2 frosties: 1  BB and 1 AC, BETA on 10/21, BFN BETA was a 5- chemical 
    Getting some more testing and trying to figure out what the issue is before FET in December, started acupuncture on 11/10, RLP and some other BW nothing major to report except slightly high Prolactin. Prolactin was slightly high when I started with my RE and I already had an MRI which was Neg.  Endo biopsy=negative.  WTF is wrong with us???
    12/18/13 FET of 1 BB and 1 AC.  Hoping for a miracle.  Beta 12/26 Low BETA-8 2nd BETA 5- chemical
    After 3 failed transfers IDK where to go from here.  Still no real answers as to why this isn't working.  Getting a second opinion in February and looking into immune testing.  
    2/14- NEW RE- Immune testing showed a partial dq alpha match with DH- On prednisone and did intralipids prior to transfer.  3/14 Lupron, gonal f, menopur, HGH.  ER 15 mature all 15 fertilized!  5dt of an early blast grade 1 and an expanded blast grade 2.  BETA on 4/21.  1 grade 2 embryo frozen
    BETA #1 59 BETA #2 148 BETA #3 283 BETA #4 2,783! US at 6w2d shows 1 bean measuring right on track! HR 121.  US at 8w3d measuring on track HR 177. Released form my RE.  EDD 12/28


    All Welcome
  • I got off FB for this reason only. Been 2 months off FB and I have to say its been very good for me mentally not seeing these sort of posts anymore. Thought being away from FB would help keep me focused during my IVF cycle and less distracted by others abilities to get knocked upand it did! Now I'm thinking I won't "reactivate", not until I'm blissfully pregnant!
    TTC Since 6/12 regular periods with annovulation DH S/A healthy Hormones normal-all unexplained IF currently 10/12 50mg of clomid-no response-BFN 11/12 100mg of clomid-1 mature follicle-IUI #1=BFN 12/8/12 clear HSG 12/12 100mg of clomid-2 mature follicles-IUI #2=BFN 1/13 5mg femara un-monitored TI, BFN 2/13 7.5mg femara 2 mature follicles, IUI#3 BFN
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