So I wake up to C fussing which is really abnormal only to find him mid blow out. I say mid because he was still pooping when I tried to change him after what was only round one.
As I'm changing him, though, the dog decides to get up two and a half hours early for her potty break and craps on the floor some noxiousness that stings my eyes.
See I'm busy diapering a young infant. So I watch my dog shiiiit all over as I'm trying to clean up shiiiit from all over the baby who has it on his back and legs and sleep sack.
So now my kid is wide awake and wants to play.
The dog is downstairs wide awake meaning she'll bark at my in laws at five in the morning and they hate that and will slip it into conversation for days.
The screaming cat is now also wide freakin awake and walking back and forth in our 10 by 20 foot room screeching.
And I am now very much wide freakin pissed off awake.
Punch me. Someone just please punch me. I'm tired of doing this alone and I want to get off the ride and freaking rest. I want to sleep. Is that too much to ask?! Sleep! Really sleep. With no goddamned screaming cats or annoying passive aggressive grown ups or poop on me!!!!!!!!
My little miracle.