Dads & Dads-to-be

Daddy feels hated

Hi! My fiance and I have a 3 week old baby girl. He has been feeling like she hates him because she cries or makes disgruntled faces at him while he is holding her. I took a short trip to Target and while I was gone, she screamed and cried the whole time! The doctor warned us that because I am breastfeeding and because she was in my body for 9 months, that I will be her favorite person for a few months.

Dad is feeling discouraged by all of this. How can I help him? Are there any articles/resources for new dads to read that may be helpful?

Re: Daddy feels hated

  • Tell him what your doc said, and wait it out. Tell him to just pour himself a nice cold glass of calm the F down, soon enough he'll be her favorite and you'll experience this as well.
  • WulfgarWulfgar
    250 Answers 500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary
    member
    Tell him to take his shirt off and have him old your baby girl against his chest.  This helps the bonding process.  I did this with my son as soon as he was born and when we got him home.  My wife was also breast feeding.


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  • wainbowwainbow
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    member

    image Wulfgar:
    Tell him to take his shirt off and have him old your baby girl against his chest.  This helps the bonding process.  I did this with my son as soon as he was born and when we got him home.  My wife was also breast feeding.

    Yes, skin-to-skin contact!! Our hospital recommended this as much as possible for mommy & daddy both to bond with baby. There's lots of research on it, have your hubby do some google, then the 3 of you should get topless & cuddle!

  • Been there. Especially if you are Breast Feeding, it's pretty natural for a tiny newborn to strongly favor Mommy.

    I'd have your husband try to spend more time with the child "alone" when you are home. Holding her, talking to her, etc. Bonding time is good, plus it gives you a little break.

     

    I personally found skin-to-skin slightly overrated, but perhaps mileage varies.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • Lurker ... my hubby used to (and still occasionally)say similar things. I point out that LO will prefer one parent over the other at various times in the next 18 plus years. Right now, it is your turn to be favorite. In the mean time, you could have him wear your shirt (or you wear his tshirt and hold LO ... pass the shirt back to him for wearing while holding LO).
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  • image Wulfgar:
    Tell him to take his shirt off and have him old your baby girl against his chest.  This helps the bonding process.  I did this with my son as soon as he was born and when we got him home.  My wife was also breast feeding.

    Skin to skin is critical.  I did it with our son a few hours after he was born, and I countinue to do it to this day.  It is so soothing for them, and she already gets that from you when she is feeding.

    Also, if you are going to pump, start now to get that supply really going, and then he can feed her too.  My son and I really bonded once I started feeding him too. Those were some special moments that just him and I shared, and it was how he got used to be being a soothing influence as well as mommy.

    image

  • image jack19:
    image ladyjenna13:

    Skin to skin is critical.  

    yup, this 

     

    I concur.

     

    image
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