February 2013 Moms

My hygienist

Says its the woman who decides how many kids a family will have. Apparently her OB said the same thing to her. What do you ladies think?
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Lilypie - (kxiS)
Lilypie - (BG2d)

Re: My hygienist

  • I think a woman should never have more children than she wants, but also should not have more children than her partner wants.  
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  • Hmm. The woman usually doesn't decide how to raise the family alone. It's a partner decision that should be made together. Yes, the woman technically makes the decision on getting pregnant but it should be a decision made together .. Unless she plans on being a single mother.
  • I think that's ridiculous. Since when should one half of a couple make any huge, life altering decision alone? How many kids you're going to have is something that needs to be discussed before you marry or commit to a person, and if you're not in agreement, a reevaluation of your relationship is in order.
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 :)
    BFP #2 on 1/3/14, EDD 9/13/14

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  • No, unless she's single and just getting pregnant when she pleases. :)  A married woman generally has as many children as both she and her husband want.  That said, I think women can probably talk their husband into just about whatever they want. Stick out tongue  And the woman can control if she doesn't want more kids and her husband does since she just has to use birth control.

     

     

     

     

     

     

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  • image pitterpatter129:
    No, unless she's single and just gettingnbsp;pregnant when she pleases. :nbsp; A married woman generally has as many children as both she and her husband want.nbsp; That said, I think women can probably talk their husband into just about whatever they want. Stick out tonguenbsp; And the woman can control if she doesn't want more kids and her husband does since she just has to use birth control. nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;

    Pitter, I think they were referring more to the persuasive abilities of a woman, not that she controls a household.
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    Lilypie - (kxiS)
    Lilypie - (BG2d)
  • ohlordyohlordy
    250 Answers 500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its
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    image kleigh926:
    I think that's ridiculous. Since when should one half of a couple make any huge, life altering decision alone? How many kids you're going to have is something that needs to be discussed before you marry or commit to a person, and if you're not in agreement, a reevaluation of your relationship is in order.

    true true! I hope after you typed this, you snapped your fingers in the shape of the letter z.  

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  • image ohlordy:

    image kleigh926:
    I think that's ridiculous. Since when should one half of a couple make any huge, life altering decision alone? How many kids you're going to have is something that needs to be discussed before you marry or commit to a person, and if you're not in agreement, a reevaluation of your relationship is in order.

    true true! I hope after you typed this, you snapped your fingers in the shape of the letter z.  


    No, but I should have! Lol.
    PCOS with long, irregular cycles
    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 :)
    BFP #2 on 1/3/14, EDD 9/13/14

    image

    image

  • I only say yes because my husband seriously wants 6 or more children and I flat out said no.  He's felt that way for as long as I've known him and he knew when he married me I wanted no more than 4.  So, in this case yes, otherwise I'd say no those decisions are made together. 
  • image Teacher Clark:
    image pitterpatter129:
    No, unless she's single and just gettingnbsp;pregnant when she pleases. :nbsp; A married woman generally has as many children as both she and her husband want.nbsp; That said, I think women can probably talk their husband into just about whatever they want. Stick out tonguenbsp; And the woman can control if she doesn't want more kids and her husband does since she just has to use birth control. nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;
    Pitter, I think they were referring more to the persuasive abilities of a woman, not that she controls a household.

    This was how I understood it, too. That the woman can often talk her husband into having one more (and then one more, and then one more ;-)) if he's reluctant, and if he wants more and she's done, then she has some pretty serious arguments at her disposal ("don't you remember how miserable I was last pregnancy?? I really don't want to do that again!" "I want my body for myself!" "You're not the one who has to wake up with the baby all night, of course you don't mind having more!" etc).

    So I can see how in a lot of cases, if the number of children the husband and wife want differ, how many the woman wants tends to be closer to the actual number of children they have.

    Having said that, both DH and I wanted 4, but all three of my pregnancies have ended rather dramatically (HELLP, m/c, beginning uterine rupture) and have cause other complications, as well, so we'll go for one more and then for health reasons stop at 3. Plus DH has realized that he does not do well with the newborn phase, so he's now even half-way serious when he says he's not sure if he even wants one more. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to talk him into it, though, giving more anecdotal support to your hygenist's statement.


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

  • I agree to some extent. Dh has said heis done. I want at least 1 more. He is now coming on board.
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  • I know this is an old thread, but I thought of it when I saw this today!

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  • Let's put it this way:

    I know my cycle really well. My husband is really grossed out by hearing about it and therefore he doesn't have any clue. If I wanted to get pregnant, I could.

    That being said, I need my husband's support in raising our kids. I would love to have a bunch of kids, but I know that he wouldn't be comfortable with that. So I make the sacrifice and love the kids we have as much as I humanly can! 

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