What is a stretch mark? We all see the posts from women on blogs and
community boards that talk of their well-earned scars that they are so
proud of. A mark for every breath that your child makes, every movement,
every development. Your war stripes. Battle scars. Badges of honor.
be honest that while I was pregnant I repeated these things. People
asked if I was worried about stretch marks and I spouted off about how
it didn?t matter to me. I told people that any mark on me wouldn?t
matter; all that mattered was having my little bundle of joy. Even
though I told people I didn?t mind I still did a little dance when I hit
39 weeks and didn?t have any visible marks scarring my body.
wouldn?t have predicted that 4 days later when I was recovering from an
emergency C-section I would walk to my little bathroom, remove my belly
binder?and freeze. It was the first time I had seen myself since my son
was born. I was no longer round like a basketball, not lopsided from him
lying at a weird angle, and no foot extended to be photographed. I was
striped and hideous.
No one warns you about feeling ugly after having
a child. Pregnancy is about the ?glow?, the beauty of growing a child.
Who would want to ruin that by telling you that you will have marks
across your stomach? Or even go as far to tell you that the marks don?t
stop there? Your hips will have marks, your bottom will have marks, and
your boobs will look like you?ve been skin graphed they look so
While my marks are a vivid reminder of having my sweet
boy I wish they weren?t there. Do you think less of me for admitting it?
I wish that my body was unscarred, and beautiful. Every day I struggle
to feel beautiful again like I did at my maternity shoot, or any other
photo shoot I?ve had. While I battle with myself internally to get past
this mountain I realize I can?t be alone. Surely there is someone else
having trouble as well.
Now I realize I sound like a depressed
mother. Battling my own set of baby blues. I try and find the beauty in
myself, and I fail a lot and cover myself up. While this battle seems
lost, I go and pick up my cooing baby boy. I have found the beauty in
myself through the eyes of my son. I look into his big eyes and see his
precious innocence looking back at me.
I tell this sappy tale of a
woman struggling with her self-image, not to discourage people from
children, or make someone scared of their birth marks. I tell it so
someone will feel encouraged. I am a mother, and I am unhappy with my
stretch marks. But, I am a mother to the most beautiful and precious
angel in the world. Don?t feel discouraged by feeling differently than
others, and don?t feel bad if you aren?t happy 24/7. I am a 3 month old
victim of this ?disease? and promise that I?m overcoming it little by
little, and so will you.