February 2013 Moms

My Story...

What is a stretch mark? We all see the posts from women on blogs and community boards that talk of their well-earned scars that they are so proud of. A mark for every breath that your child makes, every movement, every development. Your war stripes. Battle scars. Badges of honor.
I?ll be honest that while I was pregnant I repeated these things. People asked if I was worried about stretch marks and I spouted off about how it didn?t matter to me. I told people that any mark on me wouldn?t matter; all that mattered was having my little bundle of joy. Even though I told people I didn?t mind I still did a little dance when I hit 39 weeks and didn?t have any visible marks scarring my body.
I wouldn?t have predicted that 4 days later when I was recovering from an emergency C-section I would walk to my little bathroom, remove my belly binder?and freeze. It was the first time I had seen myself since my son was born. I was no longer round like a basketball, not lopsided from him lying at a weird angle, and no foot extended to be photographed. I was striped and hideous.
No one warns you about feeling ugly after having a child. Pregnancy is about the ?glow?, the beauty of growing a child. Who would want to ruin that by telling you that you will have marks across your stomach? Or even go as far to tell you that the marks don?t stop there? Your hips will have marks, your bottom will have marks, and your boobs will look like you?ve been skin graphed they look so different.
While my marks are a vivid reminder of having my sweet boy I wish they weren?t there. Do you think less of me for admitting it? I wish that my body was unscarred, and beautiful. Every day I struggle to feel beautiful again like I did at my maternity shoot, or any other photo shoot I?ve had. While I battle with myself internally to get past this mountain I realize I can?t be alone. Surely there is someone else having trouble as well.
Now I realize I sound like a depressed mother. Battling my own set of baby blues. I try and find the beauty in myself, and I fail a lot and cover myself up. While this battle seems lost, I go and pick up my cooing baby boy. I have found the beauty in myself through the eyes of my son. I look into his big eyes and see his precious innocence looking back at me.
I tell this sappy tale of a woman struggling with her self-image, not to discourage people from children, or make someone scared of their birth marks. I tell it so someone will feel encouraged. I am a mother, and I am unhappy with my stretch marks. But, I am a mother to the most beautiful and precious angel in the world. Don?t feel discouraged by feeling differently than others, and don?t feel bad if you aren?t happy 24/7. I am a 3 month old victim of this ?disease? and promise that I?m overcoming it little by little, and so will you.

Re: My Story...

  • I have horrible stretch marks. I look like I got into a fight with a tiger.
                    We're Going to be a Family of 5!

    Lilypie - (PaHE) Lilypie - (4noI)

                                   Lilypie - (2q9u)

  • Yep I bawled my eyes out when I first saw my new body. Luke's dad asked what's wrong and I cried That I looked like a saggy zebra he told me I was the sexiest zebra he's ever seen...LOL
  • I had similar thought after I had my first son at 23 years old. I was young(less mature than some 23 year olds) and had not come to the realization that society had poisoned my mind to believe that my self worth should be tied to my appearance at all. In the past I thought about a breast lift and tummy tuck post children (even had a consultation since I was not planning to have a 3rd baby). But, there is so much we can do/get for this family with the 15-20K it would cost for these procedures.

    It's now 13 years after having my first. When I really concentrate on fitness I can still rock a dress and turn a few heads, but I don't care because I have the love of my life who loves every stripe on me.

    I think stretch marks should be celebrated as part of being a woman. Hollywood leads us to believe we need to look 20 forever, with unblemished skin and the "perfect amount of fat" in the right places, and that somehow we lose worth for deviating from this "perfect image."

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • This is beautifully written. I share your story :)
  • cgg0707cgg0707
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    I feel the same way :) I knew I was going to get them, but I wasn't prepared for the amount I got. I have them every where (butt, hips, back of knees, back og legs, breast, love handles). I also gained 50 pounds. I have lost 25 pounds and working out to loose the rest. I definitely miss my old body. I love my baby and will do it all over, but I can't help but miss my old body. I know it will get better and I feel lucky everyday for being a mother :)
  • Thank you for sharing this.  I never expected to get this many and it does a number on your self esteem.  More of us should talk about this, because it really is hard to accept at first.  I am hoping to start getting back into a good routine and eating better and get toned at least, but it is hard when I am not sleeping and caring for a baby all day.  I know it will get better, but it is hard in the meantime.  Though I love my daughter dearly of course.  But I would be lying if I said I didn't wish I was one of the women who didn't get them!!!

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.

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