TTC After a Loss

# of future children?

I tried putting a poll together but TB isn't cooperating. Has your loss(es) changed the number of children you're hoping to have?

Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
TWINS!
15w4d:baby a-pProm
March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
July 29: FET-BFN

Sept: TAC placed

Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen

Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
imageimage

«1

Re: # of future children?

  • I had always imagined having 2 kids. DH always wanted 4. We agreed that in a perfect world we would compromise and have 3. Well IVF and our second tri loss have changed everything for me. I know that more kids won't bring back my sons but I'm in the camp of having sometimes like 5 or 6 kids now. Crazy, I know and highly unlikely that we'll get there but that's where I'm at right now. 1 happy healthy baby would make me happy right now.

    Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
    IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
    TWINS!
    15w4d:baby a-pProm
    March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
    July 29: FET-BFN

    Sept: TAC placed

    Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen

    Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
    imageimage

  • Not yet.
      Image and video hosting by TinyPicimageImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    image  image
    ~*~Everyone is welcome~*~
    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic image 
  • SerenlaSerenla
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    Nope it hasn't changed, 2 kids. We are going to have our replacements and no more lol.

    A14 April Siggy Challange Favorite TV Moms
    image
    imagemean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Grow my little nerdling grow!
    The Fruit  All AL welcome.

    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • SerenlaSerenla
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member

    image WindyCity33:
    I had always imagined having 2 kids. DH always wanted 4. We agreed that in a perfect world we would compromise and have 3. Well IVF and our second tri loss have changed everything for me. I know that more kids won't bring back my sons but I'm in the camp of having sometimes like 5 or 6 kids now. Crazy, I know and highly unlikely that we'll get there but that's where I'm at right now. 1 happy healthy baby would make me happy right now.

    ::hugs::I hope you get them soon.


    A14 April Siggy Challange Favorite TV Moms
    image
    imagemean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Grow my little nerdling grow!
    The Fruit  All AL welcome.

    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I've always wanted 4 and so does DH.  We would like to still have 4 but I'd be happy just to have one.  We are getting older and I'm starting to realize it isn't as easy as I thought to have kids.  I'm not sure we will get to 4 before we are too old now :(
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic image
    My Ovulation Chart

    TTCAL July Siggy Challenge
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    PgAL/AL Welcome!
  • image Serenla:
    Nope it hasn't changed, 2 kids. We are going to have our replacements and no more lol.

    i know what you mean but I'm sure they aren't really 'replacements' 

    image          

    image

    imageimage

    image

  • I've always wanted two, but if anything this journey make me want a bigger family and more children rather than less. One healthy baby would make me happy, but ideally? I don't know, 3 maybe 4? I'm also cool with adopting or a combination of biological children and adopted children. We've talked about it a bit, but I don't think my husband is quite there yet.
    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: EDD 3/6/2014: The Fruit

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
  • We never had a set number in mind. We've always figured we'd have as many children as we felt comfortable with at the time. If that's 1, great.  If its 4 then the more the merrier. 

    image          

    image

    imageimage

    image

  • Yes.

    DS mentioned

    Before the first pregnancy we'd thought 3. Now we would be thrilled with 2 and content [blessed beyond words, really] with the one we have. Having already had a loss before DS we've always been incredibly thankful for him. As each month goes on TTC after this loss we realize more and more what a miracle he is.

    ETA:My age is a big reason why it has changed our number. If I were 26 instead of 36 it probably wouldn't have changed.

    BFP#1 11.9.10 (EDD 7.15.11) M/C 11.13.10 at 5W1D
    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
    BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 at 11.5w, had passed in 7th week

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) Please come home with us, LO!
    image

     

    Lilypie - (r090)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

  • I'd still like 3 total.

    BFP #1 5.26.08 DD born 1.4.2009
    BFP #2 3.11.12 m/c 3.17.12
    BFP #3 10.7.12 m/c 10.27.12
    BFP #4 2.24.13 ectopic MTX 3.13.13 Right tube removed 3.29.13
    BFP #5 5.27.13 EDD 2.7.14 *stick baby stick*

    [all AL welcome]

    image imageimage

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker} Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker}

  • image Madisonpenny:

    image Serenla:
    Nope it hasn't changed, 2 kids. We are going to have our replacements and no more lol.

    i know what you mean but I'm sure they aren't really 'replacements' 

    I think she means population replacements for herself and her dh, not replacements in terms of lost angels.

    I'd also like two. I'd be happy with just one now, though.  

      

     

    image image
    BFP #1 08/05/12. EDD 4/15/13 m/c 08/27/12
    BFP #2 06/05/13. EDD 2/16/2014 (Team Blue). Baby Wombat born 2/20/2014 7lb. 11oz and 20 in.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • We always talked about 3 or 4. I think it's made us worried that we won't get to the 4th. It's definetely made us reconsider the amount of time that we will wait between each child... I think now it will be a smaller gap.

      TTCAL April Signature Challenge: Funny Peeps

    image


    May IVF Cycle:
    image

    TTC since April 2012

    BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013

    BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013

    6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)

    IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Cancelled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab

    IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos

    IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image

    Everyone welcome on my posts






  • image Junebug060609:
    Yes. DS mentioned Before the first pregnancy we'd thought 3. Now we would be thrilled with 2 and content [blessed beyond words, really] with the one we have. Having already had a loss before DS we've always been incredibly thankful for him. As each month goes on TTC after this loss we realize more and more what a miracle he is.

    This is similar to how I feel, except I know DD would not be content. She prays for a little sister every night.

    Me: 30 DH: 32  TTC DH's #1 & my #2 since our wedding day 9/21/2012

    BFP #1 ended in MMC. Discovered Oct 2005 @10w5d, baby stopped growing around 6w. D&C.
    BFP#2 Nov 2005. Baby's heart stopped @ 8w3d. D&C Jan 2006. Trisomy 18
    BFP#3 Nov 2006. My "miracle baby" DD born 7/25/07
    BFP #4 11/6/12. EDD 7/16/13~my birthday! No sac found @ 5w1d, betas not increasing. Natural m/c started 11/20/12.

    BFP#5 11/9/13.  EDD 7/21/14  Please be our take home baby!!!

    RPL testing results normal.  More testing 9/13 for irregular cycles-all normal. U/S shows normal uterus & ovaries, but thin lining. DH SA: Normal except for low morph.


    My Ovulation Chart || Ovulation Chart

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • image JordyInIndy:
    I'd still like 3 total.

    Same here. DH, on the other hand, originally only wanted two. I think since the loss he is more open to having three.
     TTC #1 since 5/1/12
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   Turtle 
    progesterone, estrogen, baby aspirin, lovenox, and acupuncture
    Please grow sweet baby!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    imageimageimage

  • image jbasore1123:
    We always talked about 3 or 4. I think it's made us worried that we won't get to the 4th. It's definetely made us reconsider the amount of time that we will wait between each child... I think now it will be a smaller gap.

    I definitely think the TTCAL journey has made us reconsider the gap between each child.  My siblings and I are 3.5 years apart and I thought that was a good spacing but now I think I would try for them closer than that for two reasons, one we are getting older, and two it isn't a guarentee that things will work out as planned for.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic image
    My Ovulation Chart

    TTCAL July Siggy Challenge
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    PgAL/AL Welcome!
  • In a way.

    This has always been an area of debate for me and DH. I wanted 2 and he wanted 4 or more. He always imagined we could compromise and do 4. LOL. With the losses its kind of made us both appreciate what the other wanted. Like, he could be happy with 2. And me? Well I realized I wouldn't mind having a house full. At this point I am wondering though. I feel like a complete failure.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers November 22, 2012: Went into ER with spotting to discover my babies had stopped developing at 10 wks 4 days and 11 wks 3 days. Their hearts no longer beat. EDD:05/27/2013 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers April 22, 2013: Found out I was miscarrying May 3, 2013:Saw baby in Utero and in tubes diagnosed with Heterotopic pregnancy May 7, 2013: Taken into surgery for tubal pregnancy baby and right tube was removed Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • image MamaWombat:
    image Madisonpenny:

    image Serenla:
    Nope it hasn't changed, 2 kids. We are going to have our replacements and no more lol.

    i know what you mean but I'm sure they aren't really 'replacements' 

    I think she means population replacements for herself and her dh, not replacements in terms of lost angels.

    I'd also like two. I'd be happy with just one now, though.  

      

     


    I think that's what she meant too.
     TTC #1 since 5/1/12
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    BFP #1   8.29.12   EDD 5.8.13   MC 10.9.12   GusGus
    BFP #2   7.12.13   EDD 3.24.14   MC 7.26.13   Muggle
    RE Consult 8.22.13 for RPL testing
    Diagnosed with Factor V Leiden and MTHFR 
    IUI #1 10.11.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #3 & CP 10.25.13   Dot
    IUI #2 12.9.13 w/gonal-f and ovidrel   BFP #4 12.18.13   Turtle 
    progesterone, estrogen, baby aspirin, lovenox, and acupuncture
    Please grow sweet baby!
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    imageimageimage  imageimage
    imageimageimage

  • Not really. I always wanted 4 and I still do.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Started TTC June 2010
    BFP #1
    07/04/10. EDD 03/14/11. Missed m/c 08/09/10. D&C 09/27/10. }Casey & Jaimie{
    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
    TTA until May 2014
    Jan 29, 2014 - RPL bloodwork done
    Feb 11, 2014 - SHG done
    Feb 24 & 25, 2014 - Progesterone check & karotyping done
    Mar 31, 2014 - Normal results. Progesterone & baby aspirin combo prescribed
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic   

    My Blog: The Canadian Housewife    PGAL/PAL Welcome    My Chart
    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPic
  • SerenlaSerenla
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    image Madisonpenny:

    image Serenla:
    Nope it hasn't changed, 2 kids. We are going to have our replacements and no more lol.

    i know what you mean but I'm sure they aren't really 'replacements' 

     

    Oh jeeze I just reread that post. Sorry if I offended it was meant to be tounge in cheek in regards to our, meaning dh and meself, mortality. I probably should put a disclaimer when I'm being a bit snarky.


    A14 April Siggy Challange Favorite TV Moms
    image
    imagemean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Grow my little nerdling grow!
    The Fruit  All AL welcome.

    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • LLPtobeLLPtobe
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Answers 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    member

    We've always been in the 'one and done' crowd, and our loss hasn't changed that.

    July TTCAL Siggy Challenge - Favorite Children's Book
    Donkey-Donkey - Roger Duvoisin  1968  Vintage Childrens Book
    Surprise BFP 5/15/12, EDD 1/29/13, mm/c @ 8wks, discovered at 11wks, D&C 7/11/12
    AF finally arrived on Christmas after 167 days of waiting.
    TTA until January 2014
    Follow Me on Pinterestimageimage
    PGAL/PAL always welcome

  • *DD mentioned

    I always wanted two or three, ended up with my daughter from my previous marriage being an only child as her dad and I split when she was young.  She always wanted siblings, it's just sad that she's now moved out and in college so won't really get to enjoy sibs if they do happen.  I think hubby and I would still like two, I'd rather not have another 'only', although given my age and my one remaining tube I'm not sure we'll ever even get just one.  Blah! 

    ETA Sorry this turned into a pity party! lol


    TTCAL March Siggy Challenge - TV BFFs

    image

    imageimage

    Married August 2012. Me: 40  DH: 41
    Daughter from previous marriage: 19

    TTC #2 since August 2012
    BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
    June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
    Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014


    My FF Chart

    TTCAL BLOG

    All ALers welcome!

  • We wanted to have 2 or 3. We haven't really talked about it since the mc. I still would like to have 2, but I just want to make it through getting 1 here safely.
    image

    image

    image





    <font color=
  • I'm still wanting the same amount. I think now I'll be happy with whatever I get. I realize now how long it takes to grow a baby and how dangerous it can be for my body. I know it's worth the risk. I'll probably still have 3 or 4. Depending on how the next pregnancy goes.

    TTCAL Siggy Challenge: On Screen Duo- Blair and Serena XOXO

    imageimage

    BFP 8/2/13 EDD 4/9/13 Our beautiful Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimage

    Stalk Me
    ~All AL always welcome~

     


  • image Bookshelves:

    DH always wanted two, and I wanted three. I don't think his feelings have changed, but I'm definitely the more pessimistic one in this regard. I haven't changed my mind, really, but I just try not to ever think about it. A few weeks ago, he showed me a list of names he had been making for "our future children." It was like a sucker punch to my gut. I used to make lists, but I stopped that after our first loss and haven't been able to think about it since. My philosophy is avoidance, because, as someone said, "Expectation is the root of all heartache." 

    I used to doodle the boys names on everything and make lists too. I've caught myself getting read to make a list and then stop. I just can't bring myself to go there.

    Unmedicated and medicated IUI's: all fail
    IVF #1: Dec 2012 16m/15f 12/9: 5dt of 2 beautiful blasts and 5 frosties
    TWINS!
    15w4d:baby a-pProm
    March 25: 18w...2 baby boys born sleeping
    July 29: FET-BFN

    Sept: TAC placed

    Oct 27: FET #2-Cancelled-monster cyst producing insane amounts of estrogen

    Nov 13: FET #2-take 2
    imageimage

  • I agree with several of you guys - this journey is making me lean toward the high side.  We always wanted at least two, maybe three.  I am an only and knew I wanted our kids to have siblings.  Now, I would really like to have three.  I think what has really happened is that everything is put into perspective about timing.  I was planning to try to time them out every two years and God has taught me that his timing has nothing to do with my plan!  If we don't get to three, that would be ok, but I sure hope we get to one soon!

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14. Grow, love bean, grow!

    image

      My Chart image image image The Fruit 

    All AL always welcome in my threads!

  • L&amp;C2010L&C2010
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    member
    We still want 2 but will be happy with 1.  As others have said, we are planning on shortening the gap between the 2 and will probably start trying within a year after our first.  But if we only have 1, we will be greatful.  DH and I are both only children and I think we turned out ok Smile

    image 
    TTCAL September Siggy Challenge: Interesting Interspecies Interactions
    image
    All AL Welcome   

  • DH and I want to have two to three of our own and then want to adopt one or two in addition. That hasn't changed yet.
                               image
           
                    A14 Mom's April Siggy Challenge: Best TV Mom  
                   
    My Blog:  http://samjen2010.blogspot.com/
                 BFP#1  9/5/12, MMC, MC confirmed 10/9/12,          
                D&C 12/12/12
    BFP#2 7/30/13, EDD 4/12/14, DS born 4/14/14
                                                                             
                                                                            
                                imageimage

                                                 image  Image and video hosting by TinyPic  image

                                                       All AL welcome.  
  • I've been thinking about this a lot recently, and I think it may have. DH and I started at three. Before we had any losses, we did a reality check on our ages and realized that maybe two was more realistic. At this point, though, we've been trying for more than a year and I'm feeling like if we can have one, that would be enough.
    April Siggy Challenge: Baseball Fails
    image
    imageimage 
    DD born 2.5.14!
    TTC since 2.2012. Three Early Losses (7.25.12 | 12.17.12 | 2.14.13). 





  • DD Ment. 

     .

     .

    Growing up I always said I wanted four children.  I was a middle child and hated it so I knew I didn't want there to be a middle person.  When DH and I were starting to get serious about dating we talked about kids and he has always wanted two so we decided to stick with two.  After our third loss, the first after DD was born, DH said he would be ok with not having any more kids...  I took the loss so hard DH never wanted to see me that way again.  Now with having four losses and trying for so long I'm not sure we will have another one.  It absolutely BREAKS my heart to think we might never have a sibling for DD because she frequently talks about her "brother" and asks for a sister.  (We don't know what any of our losses are and have not talked openly to our DD about them so it always makes me tear up hearing her say "her brother".)

    Sorry, that got long and kind of turned into a Pity Party for me...  Just been a tough week and emotions are high...  Sad 

    BFP #1 October 2008 | m/c Thanksgiving weekend | November 2008 | 7 weeks 2 days

    BFP #2 February 2009 | m/c March 2009 | 4 weeks 3 days
    BFP #3 8/4/2009 | DD born 3/28/10 @ 38 weeks
    BFP #4 5/13/11 | m/c 6/15/11 | 8 weeks 6 days
    BFP #5 2/13/13 | CP 2/19/13 | 4 weeks 
    BFP #6 3/21/14 | Heard the HB on 4/16 | m/c 4/21/14 | 9 weeks

    "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap & tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap & tell them about me?"
    All are welcome!
  • SerenlaSerenla
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    image WindyCity33:
    image Bookshelves:

    DH always wanted two, and I wanted three. I don't think his feelings have changed, but I'm definitely the more pessimistic one in this regard. I haven't changed my mind, really, but I just try not to ever think about it. A few weeks ago, he showed me a list of names he had been making for "our future children." It was like a sucker punch to my gut. I used to make lists, but I stopped that after our first loss and haven't been able to think about it since. My philosophy is avoidance, because, as someone said, "Expectation is the root of all heartache." 

    I used to doodle the boys names on everything and make lists too. I've caught myself getting read to make a list and then stop. I just can't bring myself to go there.

     I had kept file on my computer at work, I still come up with names every once in a while but I cannot bring myself to add them. 


    A14 April Siggy Challange Favorite TV Moms
    image
    imagemean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Grow my little nerdling grow!
    The Fruit  All AL welcome.

    image   Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
«1
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards