Pregnant after a Loss

Gotta love a PGAL meltdown (kind of rambling)

I had a total meltdown this morning.  After talking to DH, I realized part of it is just that I feel awful right now (thank you 1st trimester), but I don't have the excitement for this pregnancy that got me through first trimester in the past.  I am so guarded against getting excited and it definitely is making all yucky symptoms more draining.  I talked to my mom a little while after my meltdown and she helped me realize that all the medical micromanagement of this pregnancy from BFP on is making me super anxious.  I have a prenatal appointment tonight so I am going to bring it up with my midwife and see if we can come up with a way for things to be less anxiety provoking.  Anyone else feel like all the extra early pregnancy attention makes things harder for them?

BFP #1 10/13/09 EDD 06/20/10 DS Born on 06/26/10
BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14

Re: Gotta love a PGAL meltdown (kind of rambling)

  • I think it's fair to talk to your doctor and ask them which tests or procedures or visits are really necessary and which ones you can skip. As you get close to being full term, it makes sense to monitor you more because if there's an issue, they can get the baby out quickly if they need to. But this early? There's really not much they can do anyway. You do want to make sure they're checking you for STDs and urinary tract infections because those can cause issues.

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    TTC since January, 2011 | Me: 40, DH: 38 |DX: DOR and Uterine Fibroids | Natural BFP#1 January 31, 2012 | Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d on May 11, 2012 | Three surgeries and 26 fibroids later. . . | Natural cycle = BFN | 2 medicated cycles = BFN | IUI#1 = BFN | IUI#2 = Cancelled due to poor response | IVF#1=BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish | Natural cycle = BFP#3, Beta 1=1250, Beta 2=2230, EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby! |

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    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ― Helen Keller
    April D13 Siggy Challenge: Google your SN    April PAL Siggy Challenge: Words to Live By
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  • image BootsOrHearts:

    I think it's fair to talk to your doctor and ask them which tests or procedures or visits are really necessary and which ones you can skip. As you get close to being full term, it makes sense to monitor you more because if there's an issue, they can get the baby out quickly if they need to. But this early? There's really not much they can do anyway. You do want to make sure they're checking you for STDs and urinary tract infections because those can cause issues.

    That was sort of what I was thinking.  I keep asking myself what difference will all the early testing and appointments make if they can't actually do anything about any not so great results?

    BFP #1 10/13/09 EDD 06/20/10 DS Born on 06/26/10
    BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
    BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
    BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
    BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
  • image LittleMommaBlueHen:
    image BootsOrHearts:

    I think it's fair to talk to your doctor and ask them which tests or procedures or visits are really necessary and which ones you can skip. As you get close to being full term, it makes sense to monitor you more because if there's an issue, they can get the baby out quickly if they need to. But this early? There's really not much they can do anyway. You do want to make sure they're checking you for STDs and urinary tract infections because those can cause issues.

    That was sort of what I was thinking.  I keep asking myself what difference will all the early testing and appointments make if they can't actually do anything about any not so great results?

    That's the thing. So for some people those early appointments and early ultrasounds help put their mind at ease, but for others it just adds stress. You have to know what's right for you and share it with your doctor. Mine has been very understanding about it. She says she has some patients who don't want ultrasounds, others who don't want any internal exams, and she tries to accommodate them as much as possible.

    imageimage
    image

    TTC since January, 2011 | Me: 40, DH: 38 |DX: DOR and Uterine Fibroids | Natural BFP#1 January 31, 2012 | Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d on May 11, 2012 | Three surgeries and 26 fibroids later. . . | Natural cycle = BFN | 2 medicated cycles = BFN | IUI#1 = BFN | IUI#2 = Cancelled due to poor response | IVF#1=BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish | Natural cycle = BFP#3, Beta 1=1250, Beta 2=2230, EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby! |

    image
    When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” ― Helen Keller
    April D13 Siggy Challenge: Google your SN    April PAL Siggy Challenge: Words to Live By
    imageimage

  • image BootsOrHearts:
    image LittleMommaBlueHen:
    image BootsOrHearts:

    I think it's fair to talk to your doctor and ask them which tests or procedures or visits are really necessary and which ones you can skip. As you get close to being full term, it makes sense to monitor you more because if there's an issue, they can get the baby out quickly if they need to. But this early? There's really not much they can do anyway. You do want to make sure they're checking you for STDs and urinary tract infections because those can cause issues.

    That was sort of what I was thinking.  I keep asking myself what difference will all the early testing and appointments make if they can't actually do anything about any not so great results?

    That's the thing. So for some people those early appointments and early ultrasounds help put their mind at ease, but for others it just adds stress. You have to know what's right for you and share it with your doctor. Mine has been very understanding about it. She says she has some patients who don't want ultrasounds, others who don't want any internal exams, and she tries to accommodate them as much as possible.



    When I made my 1st OB appointment it was the standard 8 week appointment they offered to let me come earlier for peace of mind but I chose to treat this PG as normal as possible. I also chose not to do betas. I knew for me it would only stress me out more. I agree with Boots there usually isn't anything they can do early on so unless you have a reason to be monitored extra close I'm all for the standard 4 week appointments early on.
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    Married 3/27/10
    TTC #1 Jan 2012 BFP#1 4/17/12~EDD 12/17/12 ~m/c at 6weeks 4/22/12 ~ Morgan Quinn
    BFP #2 2/25/13 EDD 10/31/13 DS born 10/23/13
  • I just got back from my appointment and the midwife agreed with me that more scans and blood draws (other than the usual prenatal panel) are essentially unnecessary. Unless I have some unforeseen trauma to my abdomen, she said that waiting until the anatomy scan for an ultrasound seems perfectly reasonable.  DH is on board too.  I feel so much less anxious now than I did earlier.

    BFP #1 10/13/09 EDD 06/20/10 DS Born on 06/26/10
    BFP #2 03/08/11 EDD 11/16/11 DD Born on 11/04/11
    BFP #3 08/29/12 EDD 05/06/13 M/C on 08/30/12
    BFP #4 11/01/12 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C on 12/28/12
    BFP #5 04/30/13 EDD 01/03/14 DS Born on 01/02/14
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