Dads & Dads-to-be

How often does your SO give you sex?

My SO and I have a 13 month old son, we are not married, and lately we have been having problems (which have never interfered with our sex life and still doesn't!).

 Well, we still have sex everyday. If we don't have sex one day, we will just have sex the next day. And sometimes twice.

But SO still gets f*cking P.O.ed if he doesn't get any for the day, or God forbid, I make him wait 2 days.

 I even give him oral when I'm on my cycle, 4 days outta the month.

 I don't know what to do, if I'm not already doing enough...I feel like I am. We have been together for almost 4 years but I just can't handle the stupid fights! All. The. Time. Please help, I need any advice I can get. TIA. 

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Re: How often does your SO give you sex?

  • That's a lot of sex for any couple. Is he angry about something else? I can't imagine it's lack of sex. 
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  • WulfgarWulfgar
    250 Answers 500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
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    I have a high sex drive and after MW had our son sex hurts at times.  I don't push her and she gives me some usually at a minimum of weekly when she is not in school.

     The hardest thing for us though is that our LO tends to have the same bed time as we do.

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  • Every day? Geez!!!

    We're on the 2-3 times a month plan. And a few months ago we were on the once a month plan.

    Your BF is spoiled. I guess that's the difference between being a boyfriend and a husband? :P

    http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/26/12/enhanced/webdr09/enhanced-13712-1403801446-6.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
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  • image Wulfgar:

     The hardest thing for us though is that our LO tends to have the same bed time as we do.

    We rediscovered the joy of couch sex.

    http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/26/12/enhanced/webdr09/enhanced-13712-1403801446-6.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • I know, I don't think he has any reason to complain in that department. He just hates to be teased if he's not going to get any RIGHT AWAY afterwards lol...

    Caused a big fight this morning/afternoon between us though!

     And I have a high sex drive too, so I'm hoping nothing changes when/if we still get married this fall. We were engaged, but have been practically since the beginning of our relationship, just have yet to get rings....we were wanting tattoo symbols on our hands, but we have a lot to think about now.

    When I was pregnant, I found out SO had been talking to women online, and he continued to do it until our LO was 8 months old. Then when LO was 11 months old, I cheated physically and we have been having a hard time working things out since...so that was 2 months ago.

    He calls me degrading names when we fight now. And overreacts because he's still so angry. I understand, but at the same time, I'm not always deserving of this treatment. He also cheated physically once after we had a 3way with the same girl, who was a close friend of mine.......was. 

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  • image BiscuitEater21:

    I know, I don't think he has any reason to complain in that department. He just hates to be teased if he's not going to get any RIGHT AWAY afterwards lol...

    Caused a big fight this morning/afternoon between us though!

     And I have a high sex drive too, so I'm hoping nothing changes when/if we still get married this fall. We were engaged, but have been practically since the beginning of our relationship, just have yet to get rings....we were wanting tattoo symbols on our hands, but we have a lot to think about now.

    When I was pregnant, I found out SO had been talking to women online, and he continued to do it until our LO was 8 months old. Then when LO was 11 months old, I cheated physically and we have been having a hard time working things out since...so that was 2 months ago.

    He calls me degrading names when we fight now. And overreacts because he's still so angry. I understand, but at the same time, I'm not always deserving of this treatment. He also cheated physically once after we had a 3way with the same girl, who was a close friend of mine.......was. 

    Ok, there's a lot to unpack there...

    I get annoyed if I get teased and don't get any. It does depend what you mean by tease though. Kissing and shoulder rubbing or walking around in your underwear? Acceptable. Rubbing or blowing him and not finishing the job? Kinda mean/Blueballing.

    A lot of people say mean things during fights. My Wife is prone to exaggeration all the time, and when she's mad... oh boy. I try not to take anything she says when angry seriously. Sometimes it hurts. Luckily she's a good apologizer.

    The cheating is seriously concerning. Have you guys thought about an open relationship? You both seem quite young and eager to have fun with other people. Consensual non-monogamy seems like it would be a lot less stressful than cheating and fighting.

    I'm a firm believer that any man who cheats on a woman willing to have a 3way with him is a complete and total idiot. But you cheated first, right? I dunno... there's some issues there.

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    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • No, he cheated first. Our 3way and the time he cheated was months before we even got pregnant.

    Then when I was about to pop, I found out he had been talking to women on the internet and sending pictures back and forth practically the whole time we'd been together. I forgave him, then months later found out he was doing it again.

    6 months after that, I found out he was doing it YET AGAIN and I told him it was the last time he'd be forgiven. Not that I really forgave him....because all of this made me feel slightly justified when I cheated.

    Then we broke up for a couple of weeks and got back together in a hurry because we didn't want to see each other with anyone else. I don't think an open relationship would work here :/ 

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  • How old are you two?
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    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • I'm 20 and he is 23. I will be 21 in December and then in April of next year he will be 24.
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  • image BiscuitEater21:

    No, he cheated first. Our 3way and the time he cheated was months before we even got pregnant.

    Then when I was about to pop, I found out he had been talking to women on the internet and sending pictures back and forth practically the whole time we'd been together. I forgave him, then months later found out he was doing it again.

    6 months after that, I found out he was doing it YET AGAIN and I told him it was the last time he'd be forgiven. Not that I really forgave him....because all of this made me feel slightly justified when I cheated.

    Then we broke up for a couple of weeks and got back together in a hurry because we didn't want to see each other with anyone else. I don't think an open relationship would work here :/ 

    Ok, well, if you didn't have a child together, I would tell you to dump this guy, yesterday. Seriously. Unfortunately, he is your child's father and hopefully will be part of your kid's life forever.

    Here's the thing: He's young and dumb and horny and probably doesn't want to be tied down. He's also probably too jealous to let you be with other guys, I bet? And then you decided to 'get him back' by cheating. But I bet it didn't make you feel better?

    You two either need to make a real commitment to each other or let each other go.

    http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/26/12/enhanced/webdr09/enhanced-13712-1403801446-6.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • Please don't marry this guy without going to counseling first.  Getting married is not going to fix the fact that you cheat on each other and he calls you names.  This isn't okay, regardless of how old you are.

    And if my husband gave me a hard time about not getting laid daily, he would not be my husband.  Being in a relationship does not give you the right to complain if you don't get sex on demand.  And this is coming from someone who is accustomed to 3 or 4 times a week.  He's being a demanding asshat and it's probably tied in to all the other issues you listed.

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  • Given the new information you gave us about infidelities and mistrust... counseling.  There needs to be counseling done before you marry or even tattoo yourselves in lieu of rings.

    Granted, we have a newborn right now, so our numbers aren't exactly at our average, but sex everyday, and oral when Aunt Flo is in town, 4 years in is pretty much unheard of, so thinking you aren't doing enough is him trying to manipulate you.  

  • Just don't marry this guy in general. You're both unfaithful and damaged goods. You'll wreak havoc on your LO from fighting all the time. Not worth it.
  • Go See The September 2012 Board.
  • image ErinGoBrah:
    Go See The September 2012 Board.

    Really this needed an AE? Grow a pair.

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  • I'm equally confused.
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  • Hello, visitors!

    Someone wanna explain what the heck the reference to September 2012 has to do with this thread? I couldn't find anything.

    http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/26/12/enhanced/webdr09/enhanced-13712-1403801446-6.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • September 2012 thread called I don't usually do this
  • image ErinGoBrah:
    September 2012 thread called I don't usually do this

    What a sneaky thread title.

    Also, yeah, not sure why you needed an AE for this. Unless the OP is you? 

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    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • Weird what is going on now?!

    But thank you all for the advice...I would not still be with him if I didn't love him or feel that he loves me back, and I know how bad we both want to be a family with our son. We have even talked about having another baby, we hope to have a daughter...and we have been talking about marriage FOREVER. On and off, of course, because of our problems, fights and breakups..

    We just want to start over, but it's so hard with all of the past and our baby, we don't want to forget all of the good times. And even the good memories trigger thoughts of the bad times and fights, but I think we can do it if we get the help we desperately need.

    We have also been talking about counseling for almost 2 years since all the $h!t started...but we can't even really afford that and definitely don't want to see someone through the state, because my aunt made me do that when I was in middle school and she was flaky.

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  • image BiscuitEater21:

    But thank you all for the advice...I would not still be with him if I didn't love him or feel that he loves me back, and I know how bad we both want to be a family with our son. We have even talked about having another baby, we hope to have a daughter...and we have been talking about marriage FOREVER. On and off, of course, because of our problems, fights and breakups..

    We just want to start over, but it's so hard with all of the past and our baby, we don't want to forget all of the good times. And even the good memories trigger thoughts of the bad times and fights, but I think we can do it if we get the help we desperately need.

    We have also been talking about counseling for almost 2 years since all the $h!t started...but we can't even really afford that and definitely don't want to see someone through the state, because my aunt made me do that when I was in middle school and she was flaky.

    You will never be able to start over.  Your past happened and there is nothing short of a Men in Black style mind eraser, or a DeLorean time machine to go back and change the past is going to do anything there.  If there is distrust, there will always be seeds of mistrust planted in your mind.  If you can't get counseling, how are you planning on affording any type of wedding short of a simple Justice of the Peace wedding?  Your relationship should take far more precedence over a party.

    Being that you are not even old enough to drink and he's only 23, given the track record the both of you have, and being that I don't know any more about your relationship than what you have divulged to total strangers on a message board, I think marriage (and having another child) is something that should be years off for the both of you.  You are both young, and are learning who you both are as adults, and given what has happened in your relationship in the past... it may very well be where you have feelings for each other, but the best thing for everyone involved, including your son, may be to walk away.  Counseling may help determine that.  There has been infidelity on both parties part, there is distrust at least on your end towards him.  There is a reason why so many marriages end in divorce, because people overlook issues early in the relationship and figure it will just work itself out because they are in what they think is love.

  • image BiscuitEater21:

    I would not still be with him if I didn't love him or feel that he loves me back, and I know how bad we both want to be a family with our son.

    Well, let me ask you this: Why do you think people that say they love each other and want to be a family do things to hurt each other so bad?

    Do you think your boyfriend really has a desire to change? Or do you think he wants to have his cake (you) and eat it too (other women)? 

    http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/26/12/enhanced/webdr09/enhanced-13712-1403801446-6.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • LOL SEX. Omg lmao. 

     

     

    yeah, those were the days.

     

    :) 

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  • image RockyTopVols:

    LOL SEX. Omg lmao. 

     

     

    yeah, those were the days.

     

    :) 

    Those days will come back, I promise. The first six months are truly a desert, but it gets better after that. 

    http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/26/12/enhanced/webdr09/enhanced-13712-1403801446-6.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • You're 20 going on 21, he's 23.  Just because you have a child together doesn't mean you two should be together and from everything you've written, you shouldn't be.  Period.  The end.  You need counseling if you think you love this man who has cheated on you, you have cheated on, and he degrades you.  That is not healthy for your child to be around.  Get some help.
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