Toddlers: 24 Months+

Good things about having 2 children? Help me out please...

I know that no one can prepare you for the birth of a baby...you just have to find that out for yourself!  Anyway...my DS will be 3 in August and we plan on TTC next year (around April), so he would be 4...possibly 5 when baby comes.  Just depends on if we have any problems or not. 

Anyway...I am freaking out a little bit already.  Help calm my mind about having two children.  Tell me the positives!  I am not looking forward to the first few months...once we are about 6 months old...I should be golden.  Just don't know how to handle two.  Anybody else with this age gap?

I also had BAD PPD with DS...so that is also why I am a bit scared.  I know for a fact I want another child, just scared.

Any helpful words would be great! :-)

PPD/PPA Mom...it has been super hard, but I'm making it! Slow steps...

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Re: Good things about having 2 children? Help me out please...

  • Having two is awesome.  It is more than twice as awesome as having one.  Mine are only two years apart.  DS is so sweet and cute with his little sister.  And when she sees him, she totally lights up - smiles and giggles.  Seeing them interact is a huge plus.  DD is only ten months, but she and DS can already entertain each other for a while.  I'm hoping they will be each other's playmate for a few more years, before DS gets too cool for her.  I have nothing bad to say about only children, but I'm very glad I had siblings growing up, and I'm glad my kids have each other.  Plus, with baby #2, you can correct all the mistakes you made with baby #1!

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  • jc&catjc&cat
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    I can't even put it into words how incredible the interaction is with DD and DS. It is amazing to have 2. To this day I can hear DS's voice coming down the hall in the hospital saying "where is my baby sister!!?". remember going from 0 to 1 child? that was a shock to our system and i was horrified at the thought of another logisically but you end up in a routine and all will be ok. The kids love each other and i am so glad they have each other. I say jump in with both feet and try and go with the flow!! good luck!

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  • Having two is awesome. I love it. They play with each other so well (most of the time!) and help each other learn things. DD2 has absorbed so much from DD1, it's awesome to see her already knowing numbers/letters/writing/counting because she watches her big sister do them and wants to be just like her. 

    It's such a motivator. DD1 plays soccer, and DD2 is chomping at the bit to get to do it, too. And I know there won't be separation anxiety -- she goes with me every day to drop off DD1 and keeps asking when she gets to go to preschool, too. :)

    The transition was hard, don't get me wrong, but they just get more and more fun as they get older.  

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    DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
  • I just think it is fascinating to see the differences in their personalities.
  • I'm an only child, I struggled with this too, but your heart does grow - 2x the love. It is also fascinating because my two could not be anymore different. My older one has always been serious and my younger is just a goofy little guy that laughs and smiles at everything. It is also amazing to watch them together, and as an adult it would be nice to have a sibling, so theres that. It is more work, but two is manageable, easy to divide and conquer. More than that I can't wrap my brain around it.
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  • image hoping4sticky:
    I'm an only child, I struggled with this too, but your heart does grow - 2x the love. It is also fascinating because my two could not be anymore different. My older one has always been serious and my younger is just a goofy little guy that laughs and smiles at everything. It is also amazing to watch them together, and as an adult it would be nice to have a sibling, so theres that. It is more work, but two is manageable, easy to divide and conquer. More than that I can't wrap my brain around it.

    Thank you all...this does make me feel a bit better.  Hope to get even more great, kind words!

    That is one thing we have discussed...we do want our child to have a sibling, we both have siblings.  My DH is 1 of 5!!!  I only have a younger brother.  Like you said...I can't even think of more than 2...DH is getting "snipped" after the second.  I already know I can't handle more than that.  To each their own though...

    So it does help that I know I am done after having my second child.  Like one poster said, I think I just need to jump in!  I know I have until next April to even start trying, but it will be here before I know it! The possible PPD again scares me too... 

    PPD/PPA Mom...it has been super hard, but I'm making it! Slow steps...

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  • I read a couple books on adding a second child and they eased my fears a bit. Might help you too?
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  • I appreciate this post so much!  I too am terrified to have 2 - my birth experience was not good at all and I know that is playing a huge part.  Like the OP, I also suffered from PPD so that is also factoring in but I was an only child and I want DD to have a sibling so badly so we will probably be TTC early next year or later this year.  Thanks for all your posts ladies!!
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  • Having two is awesome!  Mine are closer in age 2 1/4, but it has been so fun!  It melts my heart to see the two of them interact.  Soon after DS was born DD said to me, "I'm glad Noah's here!" talk about melting my heart!  DS loves to watch her, his face just lights up every time she walks in the room and it's so cute to listen to DD talk in this high pitched voice to him.  

    I think the second time around is just easier, you know what you are doing and you don't have time to over think things which was my problem last time.  

    Soon after DD was born I called my Aunt and said, "I don't know how I can ever have more, this is just so hard!"  She told me that it just gets easier after the first, they entertain each other.  My Aunt should know, she had five!   

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  • Kie310Kie310
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    I was so nervous about having a 2nd child because of all the stories about how hard it is and what not --- it's the best thing ever & my LO is only 4 months old. I never had issues having 2. Everything just kind of fell into place.

    The "bad" thing is that it is harder to get out the door to do things, but it's maybe an extra 20 minutes to pull life together to get moving & I know with time and LO getting older that will get easier.

    I have no regrets. I have no horror stories to even share if I wanted to. I feel going from one to two wasn't that hard & really would love to throw another one in the mix.

    My oldest was almost 3 when my LO was born.

     

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  • steverstever
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    My kids are exactly 3 years apart and it's gone really well. DS1 acted out a bit in the beginning, but nothing out of the ordinary. Now that DS2 is crawling around and is a bit we've been having issues with sharing and the boys taking each other's stuff, but that's what kids do.

    Positives are that the already adore each other and that will hopefully continue as infinitum. Also older kids love helping out.

  • Thanks for this post.  I am terrified to have 2.  Mainly because I had horrible morning sickness for 7.5 months, DD was colicky and DH deploys all the time. 

    That being said, I know the hard part would be only temporary.  I would love for DD to have a sibling.  I love her more than life itself and know I would feel the same with the next one. 

    It's still a hard decision though. 

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  • Once the younger one is old enough to play, they play with each other all the time.  They are best friends and get along so well (for the most part).  The first year was tough, but after that I found myself with more free time than when I had 1 because the two of them keep each other occupied.
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  • My kids are like 20 months apart.  It's not as bad as people think!  You really do get used to it.  And with an older child at 4 or 5 it'll be even easier.  There is nothing in the world like seeing your children lovingly interact.  No one can make my baby girl smile like her big brother!

    So worth it!

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  • kmh2201kmh2201
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    I love having 2.  LO #2 (DD) was actually a surprise, so I never had a chance to be on the fence about when to TTC #2 (DH and I knew we wanted 2).  My LOs are 18 months apart, which was tough the first year, but now it's GREAT.  They have a built-in playmate at home, and have to learn how to share, be considerate of others, etc.  (Not to say that only children don't know how to share or be considerate, but having a sibling means a constant environment of having another child around.)  I also just love having another child to love and care for.
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  • Thank you all so much for your kind words...they really have helped.  I guess my biggest fear now is the return of PPD.

    Thanks again!

    PPD/PPA Mom...it has been super hard, but I'm making it! Slow steps...

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  • With the large age gap you will have your DS will be very independent and likely even heading off to school giving you plenty of time for the new baby.  Mine are 3 1/2 years apart from oldest to youngest (who is about to arrive) with one in the middle.
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