January 2013 Moms

MILs must have short term memory...

My MIL is staying with us this week. And she's driving me crazy. Didn't it make her angry when her MIL would yank my husband out of her arms without asking???? Why don't they remember what it was like to be a mom?
Our little Samosa arrives in January!

Re: MILs must have short term memory...

  • My MIL tried that once and I said "No, thank you. I've got him." and turned away from her. She's never done it again.
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  • b0710b0710
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    I have had great luck with my parents and ILs, so I cannot complain.  I do though think that some people as they get older just think they've earned certain rights.  I think mothers in general seem to have the attitude that they are mothers and know what to do....or they think they have a right to their grandchild, therefore, try to do whatever they please even though it's your LO.  I think you just need to make your expectations clear or that will continue to happen.  Good luck!
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  • My MIL tried this while I was getting out of the car. I let a line of choice/firm words out, no cussing, just I guess strong words. She didn't understand me because we don't speak the same language but the look on my face said it all..... She stopped right away I was only afraid DH would yell at me for saying something but he didn't.

    My mom also tried this with me only once and like Zona I said no thanks can you grab something else. Someone once said on this board, if you want to help me grab a bag, the diaper bag, something like that, not LO. I agree with this 100 percent.
  • I agree, it would be annoying. But on the plus side, try to use that time to get to things you haven't been able to do for a while! If MIL wants to hold/watch the baby constantly, go take a nap, get out on a walk, go shopping, have some "me time."
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  • jcar2jcar2
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    image b0710:
    I have had great luck with my parents and ILs, so I cannot complain. nbsp;I do though think that some people as they get older just think they've earned certain rights. nbsp;I think mothers in general seem to have the attitude that they are mothers and know what to do....or they think they have a right to their grandchild, therefore, try to do whatever they please even though it's your LO. nbsp;I think you just need to make your expectations clear or that will continue to happen. nbsp;Good luck!


    This exactly. My mother and I do not see eye to eye on many things such as how much to feed DS she thinks I'm starving him. She doesn't understand that since he's mostly breastfed that he doesn't eat as many ounces in a day as a formula fed baby, we should start solids, it's ok to let him suck on an empty bottle, etc. And yet she wonders why I don't let her babysit much... Oh vey.
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  • image Brendamndz:
    My MIL tried this while I was getting out of the car. I let a line of choice/firm words out, no cussing, just I guess strong words. She didn't understand me because we don't speak the same language but the look on my face said it all..... She stopped right away I was only afraid DH would yell at me for saying something but he didn't.

    My mom also tried this with me only once and like Zona I said no thanks can you grab something else. Someone once said on this board, if you want to help me grab a bag, the diaper bag, something like that, not LO. I agree with this 100 percent.

    That was also me. One of my biggest pet peeves. Don't ask to help the. Only want to hold the baby. That's my job.
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  • Even though you're an adult and have birthed your own child, I think that moms may never let go of being mom- they remember when you were a baby and they had to wipe your butt for you- and I don't think they ever lose that mentality.  So when they see your baby, they figure they need to swoop in and take care of everything. 

    My mom did that with me- we were eating dinner and little one was getting fussy because he was tired.  My mom immediately got up and was like "here, I'll take him" and I told her that it was fine, I had him and that she should sit down and enjoy her dinner.  She hasn't done it again since.

    My MIL, however, is a whole different beast- my husband's whole family is, really.  His mother has told him "you're not doing it right- give the baby to me" and when we all sit down to eat, they tell him to take the baby from me so I can eat first, even though husband and I manage to work out eating in our own home each night.  I've told him that if it bothers him, he needs to stand up to them- I unfortunately, cannot fight this one for him, as much as I would like to.

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