Single Parents

50/50 Custody

Its been a really long time since I have been on but I needed to go some where. I have a 50/50 custody with Connor's (my son) father which was some thing that was agreed apon with out any kinda fight because his father is a great father and he deserves it. We have had it now for about 6 months and Connor is doing fantastic with it. It was such a smooth transition for on the other hand...not so much.

After the first month of having just a lota too much vodka on the nights I didn't have Connor I cut back quite a bit. I do have a tendency to go to the bottle though the first night after my 5 night stretch(once every 2 weeks).

 Tonight I did not...its really hard. I miss him so much and I just want to hold him. I can barely sleep when he's not in the house. Waking up is miserable...with out his smiling face and bright blue eyes..."Morning Mommy. We had a good day yesterday!" and then he tells me all about it. Then he always asks if we can have a good day today. 

 I know this is best for him and I am not looking for advice or judgement. This is just really hard and there is not a lot of people I know who understand. Most moms just look at me horrified that I would even allow 50/50 to happen (but most moms my age in my town have crack head fathers for their babies). I just needed a safe place to speak my peace. Thank you.

BrittAny Nicole
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Re: 50/50 Custody

  • tracy41tracy41
    250 Answers Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I know how hard 50/50 can be, although my became 70/30 no matter what it says on paper. Thankfully due to our work schedules we have to share custody a lot closer than most and I never go more than 3 days without my son. What does get me through those days is FaceTime. It is part of our informal agreement that whoever doesn't have him gets to speak to him via FaceTime every morning and every evening. Sometimes he's too busy playing to talk but I spend a few minutes watching him play and it makes a big difference. Would your son's father agree to something similar?
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  • I bet it is hard.

    Is there anyway that you can take up a new hobby for while he is not there? 

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  • In order to be best for Connor you need to find peace for yourself when is is not be your side.

    It has got to be hard, I am sorry for that, but you are stronger than you think. I agree with the PP that asked about hobbies. Finding something that is yours and your alone will give you something (even if it is small) to look forward to when LO is not with you.

    I have found painting to be a good outlet, and I play soccer. I find that both activities help me center myself. Sports help me work off any frustration or nervous energy while interacting with other adults and painting is more of a meditation and internal activity. It is calming.

    I know you didn't ask for advice, but in order to get over this hump you will have to change something. ::hugs::

    I couldn't make this sh*t up! 


  • I'm in the same boat as you are.  My XH and I have 50/50 custody.  My DD is almost 4 months and we started the overnights at dad's house around 4 weeks.  It's terrible and I truly hate it.  I cry every time that she's gone overnight.  I completely understand.

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