May 2013 Moms

Super sad and frustrated.

DS #3 was born 12 days ago. He was my third c-section, plus I had my tubes tied. I am just not getting back to normal as quickly as I did with the other boys. Maybe it's age, or maybe it's because of the tubal. I don't know. 

Anyway, I just sent MIL home (3 hours away) with my 2 year old. There is no way I could take care of him all day the way I feel right now.  I can't lift him, or even walk very fast. My six year old is at school all day and is super helpful when he is home, but my two year old is a typical toddler who has a new sibling. He loves his little brother, but has little to do with me. 

I feel so sad and guilty. He was thrilled to go away with Nana, but I still feel bad.  This isn't how I pictured our new family of five. :-(

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Re: Super sad and frustrated.

  • Awww, don't take it so hard.  Sometimes it's best for them to do their own thing while you get better.  Hang in there, you may feel better when you realize how much easier the next few days will be.  It's probably better for you all!!  I hope you feel better soon and can bring him home!

    I'm getting my tubes tied on Saturday after my c-section, too.  I'm hoping that it's not a super tough recovery...  My first c-section was a breeze so I'm counting on that since we have to move to a new state in 2 weeks!

    TTC#2 5+ yrs Me: 44 yrs DH: 34 yrs DS born 8/2007 MC 11/2008 (natural) MC 5/2011 (IVF) MC 12/20011 (IVF) BFP 9/2012!! (DE) EDD 5/25/2013 BabyFruit Ticker
  • megpegmegpeg
    Eighth Anniversary 250 Answers 1000 Comments 250 Love Its
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    I feel that way and the new LO isn't here yet. Our families live an hour away and don't know how fast they could get here if I go into labor so DS has been staying with them off and on. He came home on Sunday and went back this morning. I feel like the worst mommy but I don't want him to have to go hang out with DH's coworkers until someone can come get him.

     

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  • image ippichic:

    I'm getting my tubes tied on Saturday after my c-section, too.  I'm hoping that it's not a super tough recovery...  My first c-section was a breeze so I'm counting on that since we have to move to a new state in 2 weeks!

    I hope my post didn't scare you! I was completely unaware that the tubal would add extra pain. I think that has made it worse since it was unexpected. FX for a quick recovery for you! 

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  • image ~Kat~:
    image ippichic:

    I'm getting my tubes tied on Saturday after my c-section, too.  I'm hoping that it's not a super tough recovery...  My first c-section was a breeze so I'm counting on that since we have to move to a new state in 2 weeks!

    I hope my post didn't scare you! I was completely unaware that the tubal would add extra pain. I think that has made it worse since it was unexpected. FX for a quick recovery for you! 

    Thanks for the well wishes!  I'll adjust my expectations accordingly, though, just in case!!  I'll keep you posted!

    TTC#2 5+ yrs Me: 44 yrs DH: 34 yrs DS born 8/2007 MC 11/2008 (natural) MC 5/2011 (IVF) MC 12/20011 (IVF) BFP 9/2012!! (DE) EDD 5/25/2013 BabyFruit Ticker
  • blush64blush64
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    Don't feel badly about that. Your little guy is probably having the best time with his Nana. He gets a super amount of attention and you get a bit of a break until you can better handle everything. I can understand being a bit sad that things had to be that way but really it's a good solution for now.  

  • I hear the tubal is super hard recovery. I just had my 3rd csection and I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. Its not easy but I can't imagine if I was not able to walk very fast. Hang in there moma! You are doing what is best for your kids by taking care of their mom and getting better rather than hurting yourself trying to do everything.
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  • Don't feel bad!  You just had major surgery and are handling a newborn.  Sounds like your DS was happy to head out with grandma, so I wouldn't worry about it.  Give yourself some time to adjust and take care of yourself and things will improve.
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  • Eek I am having my 3rd csection next week and I am getting my tubes tide. Not like hearing its a rougher recovery. I guess it's part of having kids.
    Hope you feel better soon.
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  • I also just had ds3 by cs and got my tubes tied on Monday. I am in a lot more pain than I expected to be. It's really hard for me tobe so dependent on other people for help, but I do it because it's obviously what's best for everyone, including myself. I hope you start to feel better soon!
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  • image blush64:

    Don't feel badly about that. Your little guy is probably having the best time with his Nana. He gets a super amount of attention and you get a bit of a break until you can better handle everything. I can understand being a bit sad that things had to be that way but really it's a good solution for now.  

    I agree with this.  You are making hard decisions, but it is what is best for your family right now.  2 year olds are notoriously difficult and I'm sure he is thrilled to be the exclusive center of attention right now.  He will not remember this time when he is older and in a week or two when you are feeling better he will have had some special time that you can remind him of when you are integrating him into your new normal. 

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