Baby Showers

Baby shower timing!

So excited to officially get a baby shower! NOT so excited to get a baby shower at 38 weeks. Ugh, I feel like I'm going to be way too uncomfortable to even enjoy myself! My cousin just had a baby shower at 34 weeks and I don't believe I can be anymore envious of her!

When do baby showers usually get thrown? When was yours?



also, I feel like a little brat for saying this but, my aunt can't make it to my shower so she gave me a gift card so that I can get the things I need/want. She gave me a 25 gift card and I was appreciative, but she just gave my cousin a 50 gift card at her shower a couple weeks ago! I'm kind of disappointed that she wouldn't treat we nieces the same way..am I wrong for feeling this way?

Re: Baby shower timing!

  • amie444amie444
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    Wow! Someone has offered you a shower and you are upset at the timing. It is a gift. Either accept the gift and go and be happy or decline and don't have a shower. Yes you will be uncomfortable. But hopefully they can get a comfy chair and that will make it better.

    And second where is it written that your Aunt has to give you the same present as your cousin. You don't sound a little bratty you sound a lot bratty. No one is obligated to get you anything.
    You sound really entitled. Someone spent their money on you to be nice. Write a thank you card and get over it.

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  • I had my baby shower at 38 weeks and it was fine. I mean you're not really doing much other than eating, opening presents and mingling. You'll be fine.

    As far as the gift card situation, let it go. You will drive yourself up a wall comparing what you get to what she got. Some people may be more generous with you than with her and vice versa. It's not important. What is important is that people are willing to be generous give a gift at all and that is what you need to be greatful for.

    You do sound like a spoiled entitled brat. Knock it off. Enjoy your shower because at the end day it is a gift that not every woman gets. I sincerely hope you have a great time.
  • My shower was at 38 weeks.  I was not miserable. I was glad that people could see me really pregnant.  I helped load gifts in the car and came home and spent a gleeful afternoon sorting them. 

    I would wonder about the difference in gifts with my cousin and probably have some hurt feelings. I wouldn't stress about it too long though- so much other good stuff to focus on!

  • blush64blush64
    2500 Comments 250 Answers Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its
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    image Nokkouttmomma:
    So excited to officially get a baby shower! NOT so excited to get a baby shower at 38 weeks. Ugh, I feel like I'm going to be way too uncomfortable to even enjoy myself! My cousin just had a baby shower at 34 weeks and I don't believe I can be anymore envious of her! When do baby showers usually get thrown? When was yours? also, I feel like a little brat for saying this but, my aunt can't make it to my shower so she gave me a gift card so that I can get the things I need/want. She gave me a 25 gift card and I was appreciative, but she just gave my cousin a 50 gift card at her shower a couple weeks ago! I'm kind of disappointed that she wouldn't treat we nieces the same way..am I wrong for feeling this way?

    First, showers can be thrown at any time and I did have one at 38 weeks for my first. This time it was at 36 weeks and I was terribly uncomfortable but I sat down almost the whole time. I still had an amazing time. (my family has a shower for each pregnancy and always has) I figured the timing was up to the hostesses and went with what worked for them. It is incredibly thoughtful for someone to throw a shower so just be thankful.

    Second, be thankful for any gift at all. Don't compare and size up gifts. It's wrong for kids to do it but at least they don't yet know better. Yes, you are wrong for feeling that way. Rather than compare things just be thankful. Someone will always get more than you and someone will always get less, deal with it. 

    EDIT I want to be clear I do think it's wrong to feel upset because someone else received a bigger gift. I don't think you can always help your feelings but you can remind yourself it doesn't mean your aunt feels any different about you. 

    I just had my shower a couple weeks ago and I have a few relatives who had their showers within the last couple months as well. We all received a variety of things. Thinking about it not everyone received 'equal' gifts from everyone but it  didn't seem to matter. 

  • 1)  A shower is a GIFT.  Sit down, shut up, and be thankful someone is offering to throw you one AT ALL.  All you have to do is show up and enjoy the day.  You are not doing the entertaining, the cooking, or the clean up.  You are going to sit down, eat cake, and open presents.

    That being said, mine is being thrown at 30 weeks.  Any later and we will run into issues with family being away for vacation (July).  I also have to travel 2 hours to where my family lives/the shower is being thrown.  My mother didn't want me to have to travel any later than that.  Plus, with it being twins, there is always the possibility that I may deliver early (I know already that my OB doesn't want me to go past 37 weeks, which is mid August).

    2)  It really is none of your business how much your aunt gave to your cousin on a gift card.  And even if your cousin volunteered the information, comparing gifts is just plain wrong.  Be thankful for the gift you got.  Yes, I understand the impulse to wonder why there is a difference there.  BUT, it's another thing to openly complain about it (even if on a message board and not to your family directly).  NOT COOL.

    4/12/10 - Began TTC 8/2012 - IFV #1 - 18 follicles retrieved, 11 usable, 10 fertilized, 9 continued to grow, 2 tranferred, BFN :( 9/2012 to 10/2012- Treated for uterine infection 11/12/12 - Began IVF #2 12/19/12 - 2 embryos tranferred 12/24/12 - Tested Christmas Eve morning - first ever BFP!!! with a due date of 9/6 :) 12/28/12 - Beta #1 - 193 12/31/12 - Beta #2 - 624 1/7/13 - Beta #3 - 7544 1/14/13 - Beta #4 - 31,067 1/16/13 - IT'S TWINS!!!! Two healthy heartbeats! 8/22/13 9:51 and 9:52pm- Our precious Ashley and Kayla arrived in perfect health.  (Ashley - 6lbs 0oz, 18.5 inches.  Kayla - 5lbs 2oz, 17 inches.)

     

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  • I never understand these posts about timing.  Its a baby shower, you're going to be sitting around opening presents and eating cake, not tarring a roof. 

    Stop comparing gifts and complaining.  Your aunt got you a present.  Be thankful. 

     

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  • I had one at 38 weeks and it was fine. It's really NBD, just get a comfy chair and you're set.

    I understand being upset about your cousin getting a $50 gift card while you only got $25. I also understanding venting on here instead of doing it IRL. Maybe there was a reason your aunt gave your cousin more? Maybe that cousin has done a lot for your aunt so your aunt decided to give her more. Or maybe your aunt didn't realize she gave you guys different amounts. While it may be hurtful, I wouldn't let it bother you too much. Let the vent on here be the last time you think about it :)

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  • FWIW, I had my shower at 32 weeks, and I was tired and uncomfortable, and I believe it wouldn't have mattered whether it was 32 weeks or 40 weeks-the 3rd trimester just sucks.

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  • image BlissBerry:
    I never understand these posts about timing. nbsp;Its a baby shower, you're going to be sitting around opening presents and eating cake, not tarring a roof.nbsp;Stop comparing gifts and complaining. nbsp;Your aunt got you a present. nbsp;Be thankful.nbsp;nbsp;

    Mostly this. I'm almost 38 weeks right now, and I am not miserable. I would be completely fine to sit around with friends and open presents.

    About the gift card, maybe your aunt gave more because she physically attended that shower? I don't know, and at the end if the day it doesn't matter. It's her money, and you might as well be grateful that she gave you a good chunk of it.
  • My shower was at 36 weeks. I went into labor at 38 weeks, after a complication-free pregnancy. It's not typical for FTM's, but it does happen. 
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  • The only logical explanation is that your aunt likes your cousin more than she likes you.
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    Hannah Evelyn 8.19.13
  • image lindsey61811:
    The only logical explanation is that your aunt likes your cousin more than she likes you.


    I wonder why.... :P
  • I had my shower at 34 weeks. The only time I see a problem with later showers is if the shower is hours away. For example, my showers were 2 hours away. I was not comfortable driving that far away late in the game.

    I am 38 weeks currently and feel fine. Yes a little uncomfortable but really all you will be doing is sitting in a chair, eating cake, and opening presents.

    You sound extremely bratty and ungrateful. Who cares if your cousin got more than you. Grow up!
  • My shower was at 37 weeks. I had a GREAT time!

    From a "comfort" standpoint, I would have enjoyed a chance to hang out with all of my nearest and dearest pretty much up until I went into labor... Sure, late pregnancy has plenty of discomforts, but for the vast majority of people, they shouldn't be enough to keep you from enjoying a shower. I classified my shower as a very welcome and pleasant distraction. Seriously, a baby shower should not be that taxing. If you think yours will be, I suggest narrowing your guest list. Not trying to be snarky, that's an honest suggestion. Especially for a late shower, I'd only want to be around people I actually like spending time with.

    From a practical have time to put away the gifts and write thank you notes standpoint, 38 weeks is late, but not at all unmanageable. I had everything away and thank you notes out within 5 days after my shower. Have the thank you cards in advance and consider addressing an envelope for each guest who has RSVPed yes in advance provided your host is willing to share that info with you.

    As for the gift cards, I can understand your initial reaction, but I think you need to let it go and move on. Comparing gifts never leads to good. While you can't control your initial gut response, you can decide to drop it now. There are plenty of things that could explain the discrepancy, but you'll probably never know and it really shouldn't matter.
    "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • nothing you can do about the shower timing.  just sit back and enjoy it.  at 38 weeks, I am sure the host and other guests will try to make you as comfortable as possible.  

    as far as the gift card goes, maybe your aunt thought your other cousin needed the financial help more than you.  there's nothing you can do about it, so just be appreciative.  

      

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  • I was asked when I'd want my shower and I prefer it earlier b/c I like stuff done earlier rather than later.   but if you weren't asked, you don't really have a say and should accept it.   My concern is going into labor early, which is unlikely, and the shower being 2 hours away from my hospital assuming very little traffic back into Brooklyn.... but not so much about my comfort of being at a shower at 38 weeks.

    As for different sized gifts.... I get being bothered, but just remind yourself there are always things you don't know.     Maybe your cousin has done a lot for your aunt and her kids/grandkids, maybe your aunt knows about some financial difficulties for your cousin, maybe she felt she should give more b/c she attended that shower vs. not attending yours, maybe someone gave her child a larger shower gift and she's reciprocating....  I'd try to shrug it off and appreciate what you were given.

    I do not spend the same amount on every shower gifts/wedding gift I give.  

     

     

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  • a13049a13049
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
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    Most women I know work up until they have there LO. This include kindergarten teachers on their feet all day, crawling on the floor and constantly bending over tiring shows. I'm pretty sure out 1st grade teacher was in early labor all day at work. I'm a PE teacher and worked up until having my LO, and I knows beatfriend is a nicu nurse and worked 18 hour shift the day she went into labor big snow storm she volunteered to stay because others couldnt make it, at 41 weeks and 3 days. So I'm sure that at 38 weeks you will be able to sit around, socialize, eat cake and open presents. Third trimester is uncomfortable not unbearable

    Edit, sorry bump Mobil fail, and it won't let me fix

     

     

     

  • image amie444:
    Wow! Someone has offered you a shower and you are upset at the timing. It is a gift. Either accept the gift and go and be happy or decline and don't have a shower. Yes you will be uncomfortable. But hopefully they can get a comfy chair and that will make it better. And second where is it written that your Aunt has to give you the same present as your cousin. You don't sound a little bratty you sound a lot bratty. No one is obligated to get you anything. You sound really entitled. Someone spent their money on you to be nice. Write a thank you card and get over it.

    i don't know if al this was necessary.

    With that said, that is late to have a shower. Is there a reason the host picked the date she did? I know with me being pregnant with my first, I want all my things for the baby ready ASAP! That seems stressful to have to set up, wash, put away all the things you will get 2 weeks before your due date. And on top of that, run out and get all the stuff you didn't get! Lets hope you don't go early!

    As for the gift, I understand your point. Your aunt shouldn't favor one of you more than the other. She knew that you were both having a shower close to each other..it should have been equal. But also, your cousin shouldn't have told you how much money someone gave her.  

     

    Good luck!  

  • amie444amie444
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    image provwife:

    image amie444:
    Wow! Someone has offered you a shower and you are upset at the timing. It is a gift. Either accept the gift and go and be happy or decline and don't have a shower. Yes you will be uncomfortable. But hopefully they can get a comfy chair and that will make it better.

    And second where is it written that your Aunt has to give you the same present as your cousin. You don't sound a little bratty you sound a lot bratty. No one is obligated to get you anything.
    You sound really entitled. Someone spent their money on you to be nice. Write a thank you card and get over it.

    i don't know if al this was necessary.

    With that said, that is late to have a shower. Is there a reason the host picked the date she did? I know with me being pregnant with my first, I want all my things for the baby ready ASAP! That seems stressful to have to set up, wash, put away all the things you will get 2 weeks before your due date. And on top of that, run out and get all the stuff you didn't get! Lets hope you don't go early!

    As for the gift, I understand your point. Your aunt shouldn't favor one of you more than the other. She knew that you were both having a shower close to each other..it should have been equal. But also, your cousin shouldn't have told you how much money someone gave her.  

     

    Good luck!  




    I wasn't the one who posted on an Internet board asking opinions. And apparently being an entitled brat is okay in your books. So I will just follow etiquette. As I was raised to be grateful when people do nice things for me, send a thank you note and be happy .

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  • I'm going to agree with you.... 38 weeks is cutting it close. I agree with you about being very uncomfortable.

    I do have to say to all of the women that told you to be quiet and deal with it because "showers are gifts" that's just wrong saying that...... Cutting it so close to 40 weeks is not cool. The mom is going to have to wait until 38 weeks to figure out what she still hasn't received and what she still has to go out and purchase. It's not good if she has a crib an other big items on the registry and they are not purchased for the shower and then she has to go out and get them last minute.

    I've never been to a shower that is later than 30/32 weeks.
  • image Sleeplessmommy6:
    I'm going to agree with you.... 38 weeks is cutting it close. I agree with you about being very uncomfortable. I do have to say to all of the women that told you to be quiet and deal with it because "showers are gifts" that's just wrong saying that...... Cutting it so close to 40 weeks is not cool. The mom is going to have to wait until 38 weeks to figure out what she still hasn't received and what she still has to go out and purchase. It's not good if she has a crib an other big items on the registry and they are not purchased for the shower and then she has to go out and get them last minute. I've never been to a shower that is later than 30/32 weeks.

    1) She shouldn't be relying on her friends and family to provide her with the necessities.

    2) Seeing as cribs and other nursery furniture can take up to 3 months to be delivered, it should have been purchased already. 

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  • image RedheadBaker:

    image Sleeplessmommy6:
    I'm going to agree with you.... 38 weeks is cutting it close. I agree with you about being very uncomfortable.

    I do have to say to all of the women that told you to be quiet and deal with it because "showers are gifts" that's just wrong saying that...... Cutting it so close to 40 weeks is not cool. The mom is going to have to wait until 38 weeks to figure out what she still hasn't received and what she still has to go out and purchase. It's not good if she has a crib an other big items on the registry and they are not purchased for the shower and then she has to go out and get them last minute.

    I've never been to a shower that is later than 30/32 weeks.

    1) She shouldn't be relying on her friends and family to provide her with the necessities.

    2) Seeing as cribs and other nursery furniture can take up to 3 months to be delivered, it should have been purchased already. 



    Agreed! Also it's not that hard to run to the store. It would take 1 to 2 days. Or online shopping if not comfortable enough to go out. It's a shower not running a marathon.
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