I am currently nursing one of my almost seven old twins (Twin B never learned to nurse due to extended NICU time), and I really am not enjoying the process. I feel so alone, and I wonder if anyone else is sticking with it, despite deep discomfort.
I feel so disappointed that this experience hasn't been more positive. I had hoped to nurse peacefully and for an extended time. My mother-in-law, a leche league leader sent me ton of books and described how bonded and close it made her feel with her nursling. This has just not been the case for me. My little guy thrashes and kicks manically, often hitting my other breast or still sore c-section. He also whips his head around constantly, pulling my nipple horribly. It is so painful and has led me to have thrush almost constantly since late November. I flinch when picking up either baby and the pain of brushing against them takes my breath away. Also, nursing one baby while trying to bottle feed or amuse another is the least relaxing thing I've ever done. It is just SO hard.
That said, both my little ones have bad reflux and while my bottle-fed babe is okay on Alimentum (an costly endeavour, but manageable), my breastfed guy needs to be on elecare - a deadly expensive formula. Frankly, after high-risk pregnancy, complication-ridden labor and copious NICU time, we are pinching pennies. I can't do much to help our family finances, but I can keep formula costs down. Also, the main ingredient in elecare is corn syrup - I hate to give my baby that when he is getting enough to eat from me and he is clearly thriving.
I've sought out help from lactation specialists, etc.They all tell me I'm doing it right. It is just hard for us. Is anyone else in the same boat?