February 2013 Moms

Angry and Sad

I have absolutely no right to feel this way, but I do. I just found out that my sister was pregnant a year and a half ago and decided to have an abortion. I just can't stop thinking about the baby. I've always been prochoice but I'm just so upset about this. I'm not even sure why. I can't believe she didn't tell me. I'm so very, very sad. Our babies could have grown up together.
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Re: Angry and Sad

  • I'm sorry :(   I would be upset, too, honestly...
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  • Her baby would be 7 months old right now. I can't stop crying.
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  • I bet it is hard for her too. She sees your perfect little guy and knows she missed out on that due to her choice. Many women who have abortions don't just move on without a thought, there is remorse and sadness for the loss, even though they chose it. I bet she didn't tell you because she was embarrassed/ashamed/didn't want you to judge her, any of those. Try to forgive her. She probably has already beat herself up over anything you could be mad at her for.

    I personally think life begins at conception, but I don't judge anyone for anything they have done. Believe me, I'm in no position to judge anyone about anything.

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  • I know how you feel. My cousin actually had an abortion today. It's heartbreaking.
  • I have always been pro life, but don't really care what other people do, its notmy body, you know? But I can imagine how upset you are. And the fact she never told you.
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  • I'm so sorry. I also believe that life begins at conception so hearing about abortions is really saddening to me. Thoughts and prayers to both you and your sister.
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    First round of Clomid in May 2012= BFP #1, DD born January 2013 :)
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  • image sararn2004:

    I bet it is hard for her too. She sees your perfect little guy and knows she missed out on that due to her choice. Many women who have abortions don't just move on without a thought, there is remorse and sadness for the loss, even though they chose it. I bet she didn't tell you because she was embarrassed/ashamed/didn't want you to judge her, any of those. Try to forgive her. She probably has already beat herself up over anything you could be mad at her for.

    This exactly! Regardless of a persons view points on when life begins, I don't think anyone makes the choice lightly and they would always walk away with a heavy heart and be filled with a lifetime of wondering "what if's".. 

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  • image adamsabigail14:
    I know how you feel. My cousin actually had an abortion today. It's heartbreaking.


    It really is heartbreaking.
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  • image sararn2004:

    I bet it is hard for her too. She sees your perfect little guy and knows she missed out on that due to her choice. Many women who have abortions don't just move on without a thought, there is remorse and sadness for the loss, even though they chose it. I bet she didn't tell you because she was embarrassed/ashamed/didn't want you to judge her, any of those. Try to forgive her. She probably has already beat herself up over anything you could be mad at her for.

    I personally think life begins at conception, but I don't judge anyone for anything they have done. Believe me, I'm in no position to judge anyone about anything.

    This. And I totally understand being upset too.

    To error is human, to forgive divine.

    My sister was a horrible step-mom though she was trying and did care very much for her step daughter. Even though the divorce was hard on the whole family, I am sure that my sister was not the right step-mother for her little step daughter. I am still really broken up about my step niece no longer being my niece though anyway.

    I know that divorce is not as heartbreaking as abortion but I guess I'm saying I understand how hard it is to let go and forgive.

     

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  • Of course you are sad, you lost a niece or nephew.  I am very, very sorry.  That is heart breaking.  Hugs to you today.  

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


  • I'm so sorry, but I'm guessing there were good reasons that being pregnant was not an option for her at that point. I don't know anyone who takes that decision lightly and I'm sure she considered her options carefully and this was unfortunately this was best.
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  • look on the bright side, at least your sister was able to make a safe and informed choice that was the best for HER. i had an abortion nearly 14 years ago and it saved my life. not literally as in a medical way, but in basically every other way imaginable. i'm thankful every day i was able to have a choice and that other women have the ability to choose as well. i am not ashamed or regretful in the slightest. i support every woman's right to choose, even when it's not a choice i personally agree with. i think your sister's feelings about this situation are more important than yours and that you should probably keep them to yourself. i know this post wont go over well, but oh well. i just hate when people try and portray women who have had abortions has sad, broken people that are full of regret or haunted for life and that isn't universally true at all. or even common. 

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  • image kbates85:
    Her baby would be 7 months old right now. I can't stop crying.

    :( of course you are sad. You are mourning the loss of your niece or nephew.  

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  • image bar italia:

    look on the bright side, at least your sister was able to make a safe and informed choice that was the best for HER. i had an abortion nearly 14 years ago and it saved my life. not literally as in a medical way, but in basically every other way imaginable. i'm thankful every day i was able to have a choice and that other women have the ability to choose as well. i am not ashamed or regretful in the slightest. i support every woman's right to choose, even when it's not a choice i personally agree with. i think your sister's feelings about this situation are more important than yours and that you should probably keep them to yourself. i know this post wont go over well, but oh well. i just hate when people try and portray women who have had abortions has sad, broken people that are full of regret or haunted for life and that isn't universally true at all. or even common. 

     Great points! 

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  • image bar italia:

    look on the bright side, at least your sister was able to make a safe and informed choice that was the best for HER. i had an abortion nearly 14 years ago and it saved my life. not literally as in a medical way, but in basically every other way imaginable. i'm thankful every day i was able to have a choice and that other women have the ability to choose as well. i am not ashamed or regretful in the slightest. i support every woman's right to choose, even when it's not a choice i personally agree with. i think your sister's feelings about this situation are more important than yours and that you should probably keep them to yourself. i know this post wont go over well, but oh well. i just hate when people try and portray women who have had abortions has sad, broken people that are full of regret or haunted for life and that isn't universally true at all. or even common. 

    It might not be universally true for all, but regret and sadness are much more common than your post implies. Of my 3 friends who made that choice I have watched them all struggle in various ways....and that was years later. 

    We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013.  We love her to pieces.  

    We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011.  She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.


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