August 2012 Moms

FFFC: Mother's Day.

I didn't get to play earlier and now that thread is all the way down somewhere. So here's my mom day related FFFC:
I don't understand why some of you and some of my IRL friends stress so damn much about a day that is meant to be about celebrating that you are a mother.
Before you were a mom I'm assuming you celebrated your mom and did whatever with her. Then you got married or have a DF or SO whose mom you may also include in this celebration. But now we are all mothers. And for many of you, this is your first year to celebrate YOU. Why stress?
If you want to do something with just your SO and LO then do it. If you want a day to lay on the couch and you have an SO who is willing to oblige then just do it. If you don't feel like hanging out with your mom, MIL, aunt, grandma, neighbor, whatever.... then don't. No one is forcing you. And if they are then [kindly] tell them to eff off because you are an adult with your own family and you want to have your own traditions. It is your day to do what you wish to do. Don't stress, just enjoy it.
I understand the guilt card gets played all too often by family members but if you're only doing something because you'll feel guilty if you don't then it doesn't really seem like you should. KWIM?
I realize this makes me sound like a selfish bish and I definitely can be but I just wanted to share.
I hope you all have a great weekend filled with fun and love. And I sincerely hope you all enjoy your first Mother's Day doing whatever makes you happy.
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Re: FFFC: Mother's Day.

  • I totally agree with you. I'm celebrating Mothers Day with my family tomorrow because I don't want to run all over the place on Sunday. Plus, my and my sister's birthdays are on the 15th, so we're having an all in one.

    My MIL is in a nursing home and has been for 20 years. My SIL wanted to know what time we were going to go see her on Sunday so she could plan the day so MIL has people with her at some point throughout most of the day. I told her we'd stop by sometime between 9 and 12, but we'll go when I'm ready to go even if it's at 3. DH is totally fine with that. I'm not catering to anyone.
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  • I couldn't agree more.

    DH's brothers [who are single] were asking him what we're all doing for their mom for Mother's Day. DH gently told them "My wife is a mom now and I'll be spending the day with her and J." I had not even talked to him about Mother's Day yet, but he already knew spending the day with his mom would not be my favorite thing to do. He's taking her to breakfast tomorrow morning and that will be that. I lurrrve him. :]
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  • Now that I'm a mom, it's every mom for herself on Mother's Day. I got my mother a pair of gym socks for her gift. I hope she takes the hint...next Sunday...when she's allowed to visit me. Hahaha!

    Srsly...I'm with you. I wish I could see my mom on M's Day. She's working :[
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  • I kinda approach everything in life this way. :p
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  • BPawsBPaws
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    image Msbean22:
    I kinda approach everything in life this way. :p


    Me too! To an extent! What happens, happens.

    I agree. It shouldn't be a stressful day full of presents and rushing. It should be relaxing, with your family.

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  • Tula214Tula214
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    I agree. I don't see the need to stress about it. I told SO not to spend too much money on whatever he's planning. He asked me where I want to eat. I told him I trust him to make plans, but not to go crazy with money.

    He won't tell me what is planned, and I HATE surprises. That's my only negative thought.
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  • That's exactly how I feel. I'm an adult and famously said, IT'S MAH BODY, I DO WHAT I WANT!

    So, I'll be sitting on my azz at home because it's going to be too cold to go to the zoo. Damn Michigan...45 degrees on Sunday, 82 on Tuesday.

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  • ks3pinkks3pink
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    While you have a point I think most of us consider the fact that put patents and other family members may not be around forever. I spent the last Mother's Day my grandmother was alive sitting on her bed, she was bedridden, as she watched tv with me and napped. I barely saw my mom that day. Two weeks later she was dead. You never know what tomorrow brings so stress a little and enjoy those special people while you can. Hopefully one day your children will do the same for you.
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  • Wow...Im a pushover, huh? I actually suggested to DH that we go visit his mom this weekend since we're going to see my mom over Memorial Day weekend. Personally, I'm not getting all up in arms over Mothers Day. I know I'm getting a present, and Dh is making a special dinner for me. Time with my guys (which I will get) is really all I need.


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  • image ks3pink:
    While you have a point I think most of us consider the fact that put patents and other family members may not be around forever. I spent the last Mother's Day my grandmother was alive sitting on her bed, she was bedridden, as she watched tv with me and napped. I barely saw my mom that day. Two weeks later she was dead. You never know what tomorrow brings so stress a little and enjoy those special people while you can. Hopefully one day your children will do the same for you.

    I think we all realize that.  She was trying to get across that the guilt card from different sides of families pushing you to all get together on that exact day to celebrate Mother's Day can be overwhelming.  Her point was that it's our day, too, so do what makes us the least stressed.  If that means celebrating with family over the course of two weekends or two days, then so be it.

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  • I see what you're saying and I'm definitely not stressing about this weekend, but I kinda wish than my mom had asked me what I would rather do for Mother's Day instead of assuming I wanted some big todo with everyone for my first Mother's Day. My family always groups holidays and birthdays together. My dad and dh's birthdays, my and my grandma's, my mom and my sister's... even my poor aunt has her birthday grouped with Mother's Day. I also don't get to see DH much this weekend cuz he is working so I would have rather just spent the day with DH and DS instead. If I said anything though, my mom would have been upset I didn't want to spend the day with her. So I'm just letting it be and hopefully she thinks of what I would want for the future.

  • image kikimo327:
    Wow...Im a pushover, huh? I actually suggested to DH that we go visit his mom this weekend since we're going to see my mom over Memorial Day weekend. Personally, I'm not getting all up in arms over Mothers Day. I know I'm getting a present, and Dh is making a special dinner for me. Time with my guys which I will get is really all I need.

    You're not a pushover if that's what you want to do! You suggested the visit to MIL so that seems like it is something you actually want to do versus MIL calling up demanding time spent with her. I'm sure you'll have a lovely weekend whatever you decide.
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  • image mlynne37wiu:

    image ks3pink:
    While you have a point I think most of us consider the fact that put patents and other family members may not be around forever. I spent the last Mother's Day my grandmother was alive sitting on her bed, she was bedridden, as she watched tv with me and napped. I barely saw my mom that day. Two weeks later she was dead. You never know what tomorrow brings so stress a little and enjoy those special people while you can. Hopefully one day your children will do the same for you.

    I think we all realize that.  She was trying to get across that the guilt card from different sides of families pushing you to all get together on that exact day to celebrate Mother's Day can be overwhelming.  Her point was that it's our day, too, so do what makes us the least stressed.  If that means celebrating with family over the course of two weekends or two days, then so be it.


    Thanks mlynne. Ks3: it was clearly important to you that you spend that day with your grandma and I'm very sorry she is no longer with you. It was just upsetting me that some of you all and my IRL friends were being pulled in all directions instead of being left to decided and do what it is they truly wanted. Especially for their first Mother's Day. I hope you have a great weekend doing whatever it is that makes you happy.
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  • image Scout2005:
    I like hanging out with my mom and grandmother, and would be delighted to hang out with my MIL if she lived locally. We do brunch all together, and then my little family takes our leave to have the rest of the day to ourselves.I guess I feel like there is enough time on a Sunday to do both honor your own mother/MIL and also hang out with your family.nbsp; My FFFC on this topic, provided your family doesn't suck, is that I don't get why people make such a big deal about doing both, or why it's so important to be on your own for the day. It's about all the mothers. Me and mine.nbsp; I'm happy to be with family, on this and any other holiday. People really, really overthink and put too much emphasis on this day, IMO. Just eat a meal with your mom, FFS. This so doesn't need to be a source of drama. Again, that assumes your mother/MIL isn't mean, cruel, toxic, etc. But again, I like hanging out with my mom.nbsp;

    I completely see your side too. I like hanging out with my mom, too. Though honestly at times she can be incredibly exhausting. I love my MIL too and we've tried to include her in the past but she always has some dramatic excuse not to spend time with us. You're right that it is a day for all mothers. I used to celebrate it that way too before becoming a mother myself. Ever since then DH has always asked me what I wanted to do because as he says "you're the mother we need to honor now". That's not to say we completely forget our own moms. I'm actually having a tea with my mom and siblings tomorrow but its because I want to not because it was planned for me and I was "expected" to attend.
    I suppose that with anything family related it's all a personal choice. I hope you enjoy your weekend doing whatever it is that makes you happy! Happy Mother's Day!
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  • image bigbootyjudi:
    That's exactly how I feel. I'm an adult and famously said, IT'S MAH BODY, I DO WHAT I WANT!So, I'll be sitting on my azz at home because it's going to be too cold to go to the zoo. Damn Michigan...45 degrees on Sunday, 82 on Tuesday.

    Sorry about the lame weather BBJ! I'm sure you'll still have a great time with your two guys :]
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  • image twoitalians:
    I see what you're saying and I'm definitely not stressing about this weekend, but I kinda wish than my mom had asked me what I would rather do for Mother's Day instead of assuming I wanted some big todo with everyone for my first Mother's Day. My family always groups holidays and birthdays together. My dad and dh's birthdays, my and my grandma's, my mom and my sister's... even my poor aunt has her birthday grouped with Mother's Day. I also don't get to see DH much this weekend cuz he is working so I would have rather just spent the day with DH and DS instead. If I said anything though, my mom would have been upset I didn't want to spend the day with her. So I'm just letting it be and hopefully she thinks of what I would want for the future.

    I'm sorry your mom didn't ask you what you wanted to do. I hope you still enjoy your day though. Is there any time at all for you this weekend to spend with DH and DS? I hope you still have a great day!!!
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  • image bigbootyjudi:

    That's exactly how I feel. I'm an adult and famously said, IT'S MAH BODY, I DO WHAT I WANT!

    So, I'll be sitting on my azz at home because it's going to be too cold to go to the zoo. Damn Michigan...45 degrees on Sunday, 82 on Tuesday.

    Same here in Indiana - WTF!

    I turn on the A/C for a couple days, then the heat.



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  • I'm going to church with my MIL, spending the afternoon just me and DS, then dinner with my parents and brother.  I usually spend an entire day with one family or the other so it's nice to have some time with just me and DS.  



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  • I am running all over town tomorrow (3 moms) but not complaining about it at all. Is it my ideal day? No. But there is a lot worse than brunch at a country club, bbq dinner, etc. I'd be a total B to complain about that.
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