EPing, no support, ready to give up

DS was in the NICu for 10 days, so I started out EPing. He never really got the hang of BFing, then we started adding cereal to his bottles for reflux, so from that point on I stopped even trying to BF and just have been EPing.

I have no support whatsoever. My mom and sister keep telling me to switch to formula, it will help DS's belly, he's always fussy, and they seem to think formula will help. I know this probably isn't true because I tried it with DS#1 for his reflux with no relief.

My husband can't seem to manage both kids while I pump. The baby screams he whole time, and my 2yo runs around like a lunatic. He is home for one pump while the kids are away and one overnight feed he does while I pump. he always makes snide remarks when I have to go pump after dinner, like the baby hates him, he will enjoy the 20 minutes of chaos, etc.

I'm at my wits end. Pumping isn't exactly fun, but I don't mind doing it because of the benefits for DS. I pumped for a year for DS#1, so I would feel so guilty not giving the same to DS#2. I have a great supply, and a huge freezer stash, it's just the support isn't there. Ugh, I know they say never quit on a bad day, but I'm ready to!




Re: EPing, no support, ready to give up

  • I know it's tough but keep going!  Just do the best you can... it will be worth it - just one day at a time.  I had a tough time around four months when I had a really, really bad cold and wanted to stop but kept going.  I would just do the best you can and see what you can freeze as well -  that way you might be able to stop earlier and continue with frozen milk.  Good luck!
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  • I'm sorry that you're not getting the support that you need.  I can't imagining putting together all the logistics of EPing, I really admire the women who can. I hope that things get better for you!
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  • Have you recently asked your husband to be more supportive? Does he know all of the health benefits of bf? Maybe you should talk to him again and remind him. Also, it might help to share how you feel it's important to bf your second child as long as your first child was bf. In terms of your other family, you're just going to have to ignore them. Don't bring up the subject around them and hopefully they won't ask about it. If they do, just say it's going great and change the subject. Hang in there! Stick it out for a few more days and see how you feel. Like you said, try not to end on a bad day.
  • That sounds rough... Have you thought about just holding your baby while you pump? I did it daily until LO figured things out around 3w and after that once a day after she was done nursing the other side from the one I was pumping until a few months ago. A hands free bra is huge I preferred the ones I made from old sports bras.

    If yiu want to get your LO back to BFing, I highly recommend an IBCLC.
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  • My LO was also inexplicaby fussy for the first 10-12 weeks. The dr diagnosed it as reflux, but I thought it was gas pain - I was actually surprised when reflux meds helped somewhat.  In addition to reflux medicine, I also gave her probiotics (BioGaia) for almost two months (weeks 4-11) which seemed to help.

    She is so much better now - everyone comments on how happy and cheerful she is.  They have no idea how rough those first couple of months were!  She still gets fussy when it's time for her reflux meds, but otherwise she only fusses when she's hungry, sleepy or bored :) 

    There is hope - you may be through this rough period soon once LO's system matures a bit more.  Hang in there! 

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  • I EP too. And I feel the same way sometimes. And sometimes I'm just so tired that I don't want to pump or just tell myself it would be so much easier to just give him formula. But I just remind myself of the benefits for my son. And even when I'm working its hard but I still make myself. I'm determined to make it to a year even if it kills me. Also my son was having problems when I started to reintroduce caffine so I had to cut it back out. So the reflux might be something in ur diet too. Just something to think about. Try not to let people get you down. You aren't alone!!! Good luck!
  • Not sure how old your baby is but I also held one baby while one twin lays in a over size bookie. I have been turning on a cartoon to entertain my 2 year old. Now one baby will play in a entertainment center on swing while I pump. EP is hard work.
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    That sounds rough... Have you thought about just holding your baby while you pump? I did it daily until LO figured things out around 3w and after that once a day after she was done nursing the other side from the one I was pumping until a few months ago. A hands free bra is huge I preferred the ones I made from old sports bras.

    If yiu want to get your LO back to BFing, I highly recommend an IBCLC.
  • The baby doesn't like him? Your husband is acting like a brat, and you need to talk to him about it. I have found I need to tell my husband exactly how I a feeling and how I need help. 
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  • Please don't quit. It obviously means a lot to you or you would have given up already.

    I'm not in your exact position, but I am trying to relactate after messing up my supply, and I miss my milk! I personally have not gotten onto a good pumping schedule yet, and DH has a 5 day weekend this weekend to help me get on it. I do not have support from my mother as you don't. I'm sorry your husband is a jerk about it. If this is important to you, it should be important to him. He needs to man up.

    You can do it! You said you've done it before, and you will be that much stronger for doing it a second time. 

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  • What is going on with him that makes your family think formula will help his belly?  You said he is always fussy... does anything relieve him of that?  After he poos, does he feel better?
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  • I'm in the same boat!  I EPed for DS for 8 mos, and now am pumping for DD.  My advice is never to quit on a bad day. 

    I held DD whilst pumping and at the same time cuddled DS and read him books or watched sesame street.  Maybe it would help you to take your husband out of the equation. 

    For my personal case, I decided to start to wean from pumping.  I wanted to stop even on the good days for weeks, so I decided that's what I wanted.  But, I encourage you to keep up the good work mama

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