2nd Trimester

Can people be nice?

I joined this blog a week or two ago because this is my first pregnancy and it is fun to compare stories and read about other women going through this.....but I have noticed there is a lot of negativity on here. 

 No matter what I say someone will have something nasty or sarcastic to say back. Is it the hormones or are women just mean? 

 This is suppose to be a place where women can get together and ask questions, I did not come here to be judged by strangers. So I ask, can people be nice? 

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Re: Can people be nice?

  • 1. This is a message board not a blog.  Two different things.

    2.  If this is in reference to your post about showing at 8 weeks, the reason why you are getting "negative" comments is because you weren't showing at 8 weeks.  It's bloat.  I appreciate that the ladies on TB are truthful.  If you want baby dust to be thrown around and virtual hugs, there are other pregnancy message board sites.  Babycenter might be more your speed.  

    If you don't like the environment of these boards, you don't have to stay. 

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  • Wow, no one has ever made a post like this before!





    Not.
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  • It's the internet.  There are a ton of different people and a ton of different personalities and people aren't always going to be "nice".  My advice is to grow some thicker skin or maybe the internet isn't the place for you.

    And it's a message board, not a blog. 

  • Funny, you think the meanness hurts my feelings? No, I just don't see any reason for it. 

    This does not have to do with showing at 8 weeks, I've seen people be torn apart on about every post, but good to know you are following my posts and tracking what I say :) Creepy.  

    I may not continue on this blog or message board, I don't really care about the difference, but I thought I would try.

    Different personalities are great and so are respectful debates but being mean and judging people is different than being "honest", you can be honest without being a ***! 

  • image lucianneD:
    Funny, you think the meanness hurts my feelings? No, I just don't see any reason for it.nbsp;This does not have to do with showing at 8 weeks, I've seen people be torn apart on about every post, but good to know you are following my posts and tracking what I say : Creepy. nbsp;I may not continue on this blog or message board, I don't really care about the difference, but I thought I would try. Different personalities are great and so are respectful debates but being mean and judging people is different than being "honest", you can be honest without being a ***!nbsp;


    Just what everyone wants, some newb coming to a long standing message board with an established atmosphere and having a finger wagged in their faces.
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  • image lucianneD:

    This does not have to do with showing at 8 weeks, I've seen people be torn apart on about every post, but good to know you are following my posts and tracking what I say :) Creepy.  

    Ummm it's a couple posts down and still active.  You get a bunch of comments on what you said then decided to post a "why is everyone so mean?!!??!" post.   

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  • image AFwifelife:
    image lucianneD:

    This does not have to do with showing at 8 weeks, I've seen people be torn apart on about every post, but good to know you are following my posts and tracking what I say :) Creepy.  

    Ummm it's a couple posts down and still active.  You get a bunch of comments on what you said then decided to post a "why is everyone so mean?!!??!" post.   



    Plus this happens often and we posted on that thread. You didnt think we'd notice when you complain a few stories up? I've been the one that's been :attacked: I got over it. Grew some skin and realized I rather have people be honest then be lied to and told this experience is puppies. Sunshine and rainbows.

    you come here for the truth don't you?!
    Pregnancy discovered at 12 weeks 12/2007 - D&C at 13 Weeks due to partial Ectopic pregnancy/Body rejecting pregnancy. Last Pregnancy - EDD August 2013 TTC Our first miracle baby.
  • No. Sorry. Bye.
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    Hannah Evelyn 8.19.13
  • You are right, I can't handle the truth. My skin is too thin and I am now crying. 
  • Perhaps you should have waited to say anything like this - these posts happen on the reg and people flame.

    Just think, you could have saved yourself valuable time and a world of hurt.

  • image RedheadBaker:
    image lucianneD:
    Funny, you think the meanness hurts my feelings? No, I just don't see any reason for it.nbsp;This does not have to do with showing at 8 weeks, I've seen people be torn apart on about every post, but good to know you are following my posts and tracking what I say : Creepy. nbsp;I may not continue on this blog or message board, I don't really care about the difference, but I thought I would try. Different personalities are great and so are respectful debates but being mean and judging people is different than being "honest", you can be honest without being a ***!nbsp;
    Just what everyone wants, some newb coming to a long standing message board with an established atmosphere and having a finger wagged in their faces.

    This.  Honestly.  

    Have you ever heard the expression "think before you speak." The same goes here.  So if you are going to run off with with ridiculous uneducated thoughts, expect the worst.  (i.e. chances are if you eat a shitton of sugar loaded cereal, you are going to look like a blimp.) 

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  • image lucianneD:
    You are right, I can't handle the truth. My skin is too thin and I am now crying. 

    Crying

    • Adopted DS #1- '05 
    • Adopted DS #2- '07
    • DS born August 1, 2011
    • DD born August 27, 2013

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  • image lucianneD:
    You are right, I can't handle the truth. My skin is too thin and I am now crying.nbsp;


    There's a red X in the upper right hand corner. HTH.
    Food Blog

    DS1: BFP: 4/4/2011 | EDD: 12/2/2011 | Born 11/21/2011
    DS2: BFP: 2/23/13 | EDD: 10/26/13 | We said goodbye: 6/2/13 (19w1d) due to pPROM

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    In all honesty it is the internet. Not everyone agrees. We all have opinions and sometimes questions are pretty stupid and get snark.


     

     

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  • This entire thread is a hot a$$ mess.  I think it's laughable that OP posted her message and everyone followed suit and got ugly.  I'm literally laughing.  This is like high school. 

    My overall outlook...I'm still a newbie and FTM.  I come for info and to learn from others' experiences.  If people wanna get ugly or "tell it like it is" so be it.  Nobody's been mean to me on here, but if someone was...so what.  I don't even know these people! lol.  

    Just keep the info and experience coming and if I don't like the attitude that comes with it...I take a break from TB or just ignore the ugly. lol 

    anyways. . .what's for lunch? 

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  • image dollphnfreek10:
    This entire thread is a hot a mess. nbsp;I think it's laughable that OP posted her message and everyone followed suit and got ugly. nbsp;I'm literally laughing. nbsp;This is like high school.nbsp;My overall outlook...I'm still a newbie and FTM. nbsp;I come for info and to learn from others' experiences. nbsp;If people wanna get ugly or "tell it like it is" so be it. nbsp;Nobody's been mean to me on here, but if someone was...so what. nbsp;I don't even know these people! lol. nbsp;Just keep the info and experience coming and if I don't like the attitude that comes with it...I take a break from TB or just ignore the ugly. lolnbsp;anyways. . .what's for lunch?nbsp;



    Piiiiiiiizzzzza!!!!
    Pregnancy discovered at 12 weeks 12/2007 - D&C at 13 Weeks due to partial Ectopic pregnancy/Body rejecting pregnancy. Last Pregnancy - EDD August 2013 TTC Our first miracle baby.
  • One other thing to keep in mind is it is very hard to read tone in an Internet message. Someone may just be answering a question, or even be joking sarcastically and it could come across as rude. Most of these ladies on here are just trying to share information and correct any misinformation when they see it.
    I remember when I first came to the board I thought that people were being rude or a bit harsh at times. As you stick it out and just read what these ladies have to say you realize 99 percent of the time they are just trying to be helpful. That's not to say they don't jump at the chance to roast a good troll but who doesn't enjoy some good drama every now and then? ::mobile smiley::
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  • image Mstinemetz:
    One other thing to keep in mind is it is very hard to read tone in an Internet message. Someone may just be answering a question, or even be joking sarcastically and it could come across as rude. Most of these ladies on here are just trying to share information and correct any misinformation when they see it. I remember when I first came to the board I thought that people were being rude or a bit harsh at times. As you stick it out and just read what these ladies have to say you realize 99 percent of the time they are just trying to be helpful. That's not to say they don't jump at the chance to roast a good troll but who doesn't enjoy some good drama every now and then? ::mobile smiley::

    YES!  I think it depends on what you come to TB for.  If you want info...its a great place to learn from each other.  If you are looking for BFFs...idunno. But its definitely hard to communicate tone online. :)

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  • I'm with you OP...Ive been on these boards for years...some people are determined to be a""hats.
    After three miscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy we are currently pursuing adoption. " Born not from our flesh, but born in our heart. You were longed for and wanted and loved from the start."
  • I also had the same feelings when I began posting here. I've had some very amazing support but have also been made to look very stupid. When I got on this site I thought it would be like a support center for women but I've learned that just like high school girls are vicious. Know that notall of us are like that so please continue to post and ignore those who respond negative... we need more of us on here!
  • JamieWMJamieWM
    250 Answers 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
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    image lucianneD:

    I joined this blog a week or two ago because this is my first pregnancy and it is fun to compare stories and read about other women going through this.....but I have noticed there is a lot of negativity on here. 

     No matter what I say someone will have something nasty or sarcastic to say back. Is it the hormones or are women just mean? 

     This is suppose to be a place where women can get together and ask questions, I did not come here to be judged by strangers. So I ask, can people be nice? 

     

    Girlfriend, you shouldve joined a couple months back when others posted this same thing. You have to take it with a grain of salt, people have opinions and I am convinced some love to just stir the pot on here but let em! Confide in family and friends for things you take to heart etc. I find such awesome support here but I use judgement on posting if I think i am going to hear something I don't want to hear. You hit it right on the head when you said "judged by strangers"...it's exactly that! Try to look at TB in a different light or maybe find a different website that fits what you are looking for?  

     

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  • I am a newbie, but I have lurked for a while.  I like the boards because of the drama and b1tch1ness, it is much more entertaining than BabyCentral or some of the other boards out there.  That being, said, these ladies don't lie, and give you honest opinions.  I do think there is some cliquiness here, if the leader says something everyone else follows, but for the most part you are getting honest feedback, even if they don't say it with sugar and rainbows. 
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  • image panicMom:
    I also had the same feelings when I began posting here. I've had some very amazing support but have also been made to look very stupid. When I got on this site I thought it would be like a support center for women but I've learned that just like high school girls are vicious. Know that not all of us are like that so please continue to post and ignore those who respond negative... we need more of us on here!

    THIS.  

    I am all for truth and opinions. But there is a difference between giving your opinion appropriately and being a ***/snark about it. It is called tact and some ladies on here need to learn it. I believe you can be both nice and honest.

    So my suggestion is to just ignore it, move on, and post only when you need to. 

    *E - 08/29/2013*


  • Grow a pair. Just because the answer is not what you want, it doesn't mean anyone is being rude. Like pp said.. It's hard to determine sarcasm and such on the Internet. If you don't like a response, don't reply to it!!
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  • Liz4444Liz4444
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
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    Nope, no one can be nice, ever. Go away now.
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  • This is a board of hormonal pregnant women, it goes without saying that there is going to be some high-school girl drama! If you put your opinion on the internet people are going to judge you, some harshly. You can't take it personally. Who cares if some random stranger says something mean about you? People are constantly going to misread and misinterpret what you are saying and respond harshly, just let it go. There is plenty of both good and bad advice here, you have to be able to sift through it, take the good, and forget the bad. Posting something like this is just going to bring out the those petty people who take every opportunity to flame someone.
  • image dhaueisen:
    This is a board of hormonal pregnant women, it goes without saying that there is going to be some highschool girl drama! If you put your opinion on the internet people are going to judge you, some harshly. You can't take it personally. Who cares if some random stranger says something mean about you? People are constantly going to misread and misinterpret what you are saying and respond harshly, just let it go. There is plenty of both good and bad advice here, you have to be able to sift through it, take the good, and forget the bad. Posting something like this is just going to bring out the those petty people who take every opportunity to flame someone.


    Stop blaming the damn hormones and own your feelings. I respond the same way on these boards, pregnant or not.
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    DS2: BFP: 2/23/13 | EDD: 10/26/13 | We said goodbye: 6/2/13 (19w1d) due to pPROM

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  • image RedheadBaker:
    image dhaueisen:
    This is a board of hormonal pregnant women, it goes without saying that there is going to be some highschool girl drama! If you put your opinion on the internet people are going to judge you, some harshly. You can't take it personally. Who cares if some random stranger says something mean about you? People are constantly going to misread and misinterpret what you are saying and respond harshly, just let it go. There is plenty of both good and bad advice here, you have to be able to sift through it, take the good, and forget the bad. Posting something like this is just going to bring out the those petty people who take every opportunity to flame someone.
    Stop blaming the damn hormones and own your feelings. I respond the same way on these boards, pregnant or not.

    OMG this! If you are going to act like a whiny biitch, then own it and don't blame it on hormones! 

    As for the OP...this is the internet...welcome... 

    Why makes me feel lucky? Being able to see Corri go from this:
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  • image lucianneD:

    I joined this blog a week or two ago 

    It says you joined 2 days ago. 

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  • huntjulhuntjul
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    image lucianneD:

    I joined this blog a week or two ago because this is my first pregnancy and it is fun to compare stories and read about other women going through this.....but I have noticed there is a lot of negativity on here. 

     No matter what I say someone will have something nasty or sarcastic to say back. Is it the hormones or are women just mean? 

     This is suppose to be a place where women can get together and ask questions, I did not come here to be judged by strangers. So I ask, can people be nice? 

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    Said no one ever on the Bump.  This is who we are.  Get over it, or leave.

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