Birthday Parties

Does this sound rude?

DS's birthday isn't until august,but my mom and I started talking about it today. I told her that I wanted to write "No gifts necessary" at the bottom of the invites because he will only be one and he won't care if he gets presents or not and we really don't have the extra space for anymore toys. My mom says this sounds really rude and I shouldn't write that. Is it rude? Or is she just weird?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                                                     

                                                                                                                                       image                      

 image

Re: Does this sound rude?

  • I think you'll get gifts even if you write that on the invite.  People bring gifts to birthday parties.  
    image
  • Technically, it's rude to mention gifts. However. I felt the same way you do with my kiddo. And we really didn't need anything. I put "Your presence is present enough" at the bottom of the invite. I got gifts from about 50% of the people, but wrote thank you notes to everyone for coming, not just those that gave gifts. I put the gifts we DID receive off to the side a bit so it wasn't "displayed" for people who did NOT bring gifts. And we did not open gifts at the party, but waited for everyone to leave.
     image
    imageimage
    image
    imageimageimage
    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • wedseptwedsept
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments
    member
    I agree with your mom.  It is inappropriate to say no gifts.
  • I wouldn't mention gifts. If you don't have the space for lots of toys, then any toys you do a combination of donating them, taking some to grandma's house, and possibly returning some for merchandise credit to buy DS other things he needs or toys when you do have the space.
    image
    imageimage
    image
  • image MandJS:
    Technically, it's rude to mention gifts. However. I felt the same way you do with my kiddo. And we really didn't need anything. I put "Your presence is present enough" at the bottom of the invite. I got gifts from about 50% of the people, but wrote thank you notes to everyone for coming, not just those that gave gifts. I put the gifts we DID receive off to the side a bit so it wasn't "displayed" for people who did NOT bring gifts. And we did not open gifts at the party, but waited for everyone to leave.

    I think this is what I will do. We would appriciate any gifts he recived,but I just feel like it's silly to throw a party for a one year old and expect people bring gifts. You know?

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                           image                      

     image

  • image benjaminsmommy16:

    image MandJS:
    Technically, it's rude to mention gifts. However. I felt the same way you do with my kiddo. And we really didn't need anything. I put "Your presence is present enough" at the bottom of the invite. I got gifts from about 50% of the people, but wrote thank you notes to everyone for coming, not just those that gave gifts. I put the gifts we DID receive off to the side a bit so it wasn't "displayed" for people who did NOT bring gifts. And we did not open gifts at the party, but waited for everyone to leave.

    I think this is what I will do. We would appriciate any gifts he recived,but I just feel like it's silly to throw a party for a one year old and expect people bring gifts. You know?

    But it's a birthday party. People generally bring gifts for the birthday person, regardless of age. A bottle of wine for a 30th b-day, a toy truck for a 5 yr old, really I don't think it's any different.

    I do, however, have a friend that has asked for donations instead of gifts for her son's birthday. She is very involved in dog rescue. She had an specific insert in the invitation describing the rescue and listing the items they needed. At the party there was an area set aside for these donations.  

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers 

     Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers


    Blogging about boobs, babies, bed lust & everything in between since 2007.
  • Just dont do it.

    It is a birthday party.  Gifts are customary.  Those who don't want to go all out, won't.  Set aside those gifts you don't want for when friends bring over their little ones so they have something to play with.  Then donate.

    And asking people to donate to a charity in lieu of gifts is no better than putting any derivation of "no gifts please" on the invite.  I'll donate to the charities of MY choice; you donate to the charity of YOUR choice.  It is a very personal and private choice.  Don't make a birthday party an excuse to raise donations; hold a separate event if it is that important to you.

  • Gifts are expected at birthday parties.  If you truly don't want gifts at all, then question why you are throwing your child a gift-giving event.  That said, I would assume that your family and friends know you, and know that you have very little space in your home so they won't buy anything massive.  A while ago I gave a Lowes gift card as a present at a one year old's birthday because their home was truly overflowing with toys, and I knew they could use this.  When my kids have birthdays our friends and family typically ask us what the kids are into, what size clothes they wear, if there is anything we need ect so you will probably have that opportunity to steer gifts in the direction of your choosing.  I'd find it uncomfortable as a guest to see "gifts not expected" on an invite. 
  • image Notwifezilla7:
    image benjaminsmommy16:

    image MandJS:
    Technically, it's rude to mention gifts. However. I felt the same way you do with my kiddo. And we really didn't need anything. I put "Your presence is present enough" at the bottom of the invite. I got gifts from about 50% of the people, but wrote thank you notes to everyone for coming, not just those that gave gifts. I put the gifts we DID receive off to the side a bit so it wasn't "displayed" for people who did NOT bring gifts. And we did not open gifts at the party, but waited for everyone to leave.

    I think this is what I will do. We would appriciate any gifts he recived,but I just feel like it's silly to throw a party for a one year old and expect people bring gifts. You know?

    But it's a birthday party. People generally bring gifts for the birthday person, regardless of age. A bottle of wine for a 30th b-day, a toy truck for a 5 yr old, really I don't think it's any different.

    I do, however, have a friend that has asked for donations instead of gifts for her son's birthday. She is very involved in dog rescue. She had an specific insert in the invitation describing the rescue and listing the items they needed. At the party there was an area set aside for these donations.  

    I find the "in lieu of gifts, please give to X charity" worse than saying no gifts. If someone wants to bring a gift in my situation, it's still appreciated. They're just advised it's not a necessity. In the "please give here instead" situation, you're dictating how people spend their money. Not okay. 

     image
    imageimage
    image
    imageimageimage
    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • image wedsept:
    I agree with your mom.  It is inappropriate to say no gifts.

    This. Even though I get where you're coming from, it's tacky to mention gifts at all, bc it assumes you figure people will bring them. Besides, people like to buy kids' gifts, and I know I've never gone to any party empty-handed, no matter what the invite said.

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • It's tacky to mention gifts and most people will ignore you anyways.  I would leave it off the invite.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards