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I had sex with my high school boyfriend. (the guy I dated before I met hubs) I was embarassed about it, but wouldn't say I regretted it until hubs and I got engaged. Then, I realized how much I really would have liked to have waited. (hubs and I had been dating 2 years, and we hadn't abstained from sex with each other, so IDK why it hit me then) I might feel differently if hubs was my one and only.
It's just something I regret, and I plan to be completely honest with Aria about that. Regrets are no fun.
Sept07b2b:Wow! I am truly amazed, impressed, [insert word here] for those of you who actually waited for your wedding night!
I had sex in high school with my long term boyfriend, and I don't regret it at all. I think having sex younger helped me become responsible and it helped me realize how the dynamic of sex could affect a relationship. I met DH about a month or two after breaking up with my high school sweet heart. I don't feel like it harmed our relationship and I didn't feel guilty about not having saved myself. I already knew what I did and didn't like and there was no pressure and I didn't feel guilty about not waiting until my wedding night. I think if DH and I had been high school sweethearts or he was a virgin I may have felt like I should have waited. I think it's a bit harder if you are a virgin and your SO isn't and you date long term before getting married. I know people do it, but I just couldn't imagine.
As awkward as my first time was, I don't know that I would've wanted that to be how I spent my wedding night. Do I wish I had made different decisions over the years? Absolutely! Do I regret some of those? Absolutely! However, I couldn't imagine my exH being the only person I ever slept with. Knowing what I know now, I can't say that "that's" what I would've wanted for the rest of my life...and that's so wrong on so many levels though.
BFP 4.17.13 EDD 12.29.13 Miscarriage discovered at 8w3d
BFP 10.7.13 EDD 6.20.14
CotterpinDoozer: Sept07b2b:Wow! I am truly amazed, impressed, [insert word here] for those of you who actually waited for your wedding night! How about it! Good for you guys! I would love to know how those who waiting truly felt about that decision. Was the first time "great and wonderful and romantic" or "awkward and weird"... Did they have crazy amounts of sex after that to "make up" for the years before. Hope that's not insulting... just truly curious!
We waited because it fit our beliefs. I'm not judging anyone who believes/chose differently, but it worked well for us. I have friends who were so conservative about the issue as to save even their first kiss for after "I now pronounce you man and wife" if that gives you any idea as to the sub-culture I come from! We weren't quite that strict about it. Our wedding night was indeed magical, which the 3 different books on the subject we read before basically told us it wouldn't be.
I know there are lots of stories about the repressed evangelical kids who can't relax and enjoy married life because of their upbringings, that has not been the experience of a single person I know in real life.