April 2013 Moms

STMs - how are your older children dealing with the new LO?

DS1 will be 2 1/2 years at the end of this month.  The first week we brought LO home he did just fine.  Then at the start of the second week I feel like we suddenly came into the 'terrible twos'.  He won't listen to a thing we say.  Everything is no.  He seems a bit out of control.  Its breaking my heart because I'm sure its a lot of change for him too and of course, as Mommy guilt goes, I just don't feel there is enough of me to go around right now.  He has become best friends with Daddy lately - which is good - but still a tough adjustment.  How are you trying to get existing children back to 'normal' since the arrival of LO?
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Re: STMs - how are your older children dealing with the new LO?

  • My DS turned 5 the week before DD was born.  He has done really well and wants to give her hugs and hold her.  The issue has been keeping him entertained while BF'ing and to him everything needs to be dealt with immediately.  Luckily DD has been very patient when I need to put her down to deal with his situation.  He is just so used to having our full attention and having issues dealt with immediately that it's hard for him to be patient and give us a few minutes to get back to him.  I am so glad he is in school all week because that has helped make the transition much easier for us.
  • Our two yr old has had a lot of change. Baby, mom being home, moved to big girl bed, moved to booster seat when eating. She def is a terrible two!!! I actually joined a moms group and focus on getting her out a few times a week for fun. Her behavior is much better the more active we are. When home I also try to involve her. She takes all the laundry to the laundry room and she helps dust. Though we have our meltdown she is much better as I involve her.
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  • Mine are quite older (18,11,8) so its a different for them but even at their age we have had some stuggles. Yes for the most part they love love love their little brother. But there are times I see the jealousy, the being upset because Mom cant jump and do what they want, we cant do all the busy stuff we were doing and everything is pretty much on DS's schedule. So we are adjusting.
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  • My DS who is also almost 2 1/2 had been doing much better the past two weeks. The first week was terrible! I felt like he was a different kid that I didn't even know anymore. I try to play with him whenever I can and make sure he gets his own special time. It's been especially hard because we are also trying to sell our house so we are constantly having to pack stuff up and clean for possible showings. There don't seem to be enough hours in the day! We are trying to keep DS on his schedule as much as we can which has seemed to help. I decided to wait on the big boy bed and a few other big boy things until the baby is around 4 months and a little more predictable. I will probably ease a new big boy thing in every few months and hopefully have it all done before he is 3.
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  • Ava had the hardest time in the first two weeks, especially because I couldn't lift her. She's slowly adjusting now, and does much better when we get out and are on the go. She's also becoming more interested in Mila and loves to help by getting diapers, handing Mila her paci, etc.  

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  • Much of the same in our house.  The first couple weeks were rough and it is slowly getting better.  Being really consistent with his routines and discipline and making sure he gets plenty of positive attention from us has been helping.
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  • jmdahnjmdahn
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    The first 6 weeks were HELL...my DS#1 was a full blown terrible two. Not listening, testing both DH and I. I think that there were some days that he spend more time in time out than not.  I had a c/s and there were people here non stop for the first 5 weeks.  He was great to his brother- but not to anyone else.  Many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking that I ruined DS#1 life by having DS#2.

    I can happily report that at the 6 week mark- for the most part- I have my wonderful little boy back.  I did change a few things.  Spending lots of time outside with DS#2 in the stroller and playing with DS#1 has helped a ton.  20 minutes each night before bed we snuggle and eat popcorn while DS #2 has some tummy time!  It has really just been me trying to figure out how to show the love to 2 kids equally.  So glad to have my little man back!

  • Emma is almost 22 months, and she's been pretty great with "Baby Rae", sometimes a little too eager to "help" (ie, wanting to shove the pacifier in her mouth or shake the bouncer really hard).  But we are also dealing with the terrible two's.  the first couple weeks she was quick to throw a hissy over anything, but I think a lot had to do with us having family in town visiting who were helping take care of Emma so I could focus on resting, recovering, and getting nursing down.  Since they've left and I'm spending more 1x1 time with her again, she seems a bit better - just normal 2-yr old battles!
    BFP #1 10/12/10, Emma born 7/27/11 at 40W6D
    BFP #2 8/11/12

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  • Tony is very sweet and gentle with his little sister (wanting to snuggle with her, give her kisses, etc), but I've definitely noticed he's acting out more lately. Throwing tantrums, saying "no no no no no" overandoverandover again until I want to blow my brains out, fighting nap and bedtime, etc. I'm hoping this phase will end relatively soon!
  • Henry is doing better than anticipated, well, better than others anticipated. He loves little things and has as lot of practice with gentle hands on our cats. He also is a big fan of routine so we've kept his naps and bedtime exactly the same so so he's at least well rested.

    He loves to kiss Frank and say "hi baby" but other than that and demanding baby wear a hat all the time, he ignores him. He is a bit frustrated that mommy has to be stationary when feeding baby but we're working on things like me sitting on the yoga ball to "dance" with him while I feed baby or we sit in the reading corner and read books during it. 

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